|
It is fun...and then it is not. And once that line is crossed it will never be fun again. Get off the merry go round while the getting is good. You don't want to cross that line. I did. And it wasn't pretty. I clawed my way to sobriety but it was one hell of a fight. You will eventually get to a point where you are chasing the fun and it eludes you while you batter your body and brain into oblivion. You have a chance to avoid it. Take it. You will not regret it. |
Originally Posted by someguy23 As for what bothers me about my drinking, two things: 1) The ridiculous binges when I turn into a douche or an escaped mental patient. I honestly, seriously believe that I'm neither (although I'm obviously not objective about it), and I'm tired of acting like one. 2) There's another alcoholic in my family. She has "gotten away with it" in the sense that she rode the vodka train hard from her 30's into her current 80's, had a very successful career and a good home life. She's also the most miserable woman I know. Don't want to become her either. As far as number 1, I can relate except substitute in "wh0re" or "crazy b*tch" because that's what I acted like. I am a good person with many good qualities, but my behavior when drinking did not reflect that. I was not "congruent" if you know what I mean. The way that I was living did not match who I truly believed myself to be. It was a little like drowning on dry land. The real me couldn't quite get to the surface and stay there. That created a great deal of internal discord that became extremely hard to live with. As far as number 2, she did not get away with it. She's miserable. That's the choice she made, the price she paid. We all have the right to be and do and live as we please. Who do you want to be? You don't want to be a miserable douchey mental patient, that's clear...but you do want to keep drinking and getting high. Since you're not always sure when it lead to bingeing and said douchiness, then you just have to decide if the crapshoot is worth the risk. Keep in mind that the stakes continue to rise. |
Guess you'll try to quit drinking when it's not fun anymore. We'll be here to support you when ( not if) you do. |
with me the drinking was giving me potentially instantly fatal or stroke potential blood pressure .. i was running about 186/130 . As for the fun thing , well i think it was , i don't realy remember much about it now having spent 25 years in that alterd state i'd hope it was fun .. For me, i think it made being in my own head fun for a while, maybe 50% of the time if i think of the hangovers , it didn't make reality fun though , it made me depressed , anxious , fat , sweaty , self centerdly chasing the next buzz , high blood pressure , high colesterol , poor relationships, lack of concern for people loved , didn't care for my home , car , job , bad choices for sex and relationships, when i met someone who coped with my drinking i stuck with them for the wrong reasons for far to long , flogging a dead horse ... I was emotionally stuck and hated change . life and reality 99 % stank and alcohol offerd me 1% relief/escape into delusion . Getting sober life 100% stank . Now i find life sober is very nice 90% of it, if i use the tools i've learned and stay humble , the stinky 10% is completely tollerable then and i'm in contact with reality and not deluded by drink and drugs :) Bestwishes, M |
I've had a fistfight with a bouncer once. Didn't win. No biggie. Hey, if getting beat up, harassing women, puking in your own bed, blacking out and OD'ing is just a 1% problem to you then by all means - drink up! Quit whining about a measly 1% problem. Your party is just getting started! |
I think Nomis put it so accurately. I say quit while you're ahead cause the road ahead is ugly my friend and you're headed straight for the slippery slope. |
Originally Posted by Someguy23
(Post 3896045)
You said it yourself hypo, it's hard to keep up the incentive. That's why I'm struggling to stay sober. That's the whole point of this thread really. It's hard to convince myself that booze==bad when 99% of my experiences with it are good, or had at most minor drawbacks... even if the remaining 1% did put me in danger of serious bodily harm and/or strained friendships and relationships. Are you a gambling woman hypo? All actions in life are basically dice throws, with various possible outcomes and associated probabilities. Right now, the numbers aren't good enough for the rational side of me to be happy about playing, but they aren't yet bad enough for me to leave and not look back... I was hoping people would help convince me, or suggest ways for me to convince myself. Maybe I'm just not ready to quit. |
Originally Posted by soberlicious The way that I was living did not match who I truly believed myself to be. It was a little like drowning on dry land. The real me couldn't quite get to the surface and stay there. Remember that song, The Gambler? It's not bad enough yet for me to have to run, but maybe it is time for me to walk away and count my money. Thanks, I really think you've helped.
Originally Posted by mecanix with me the drinking was giving me potentially instantly fatal or stroke potential blood pressure .. i was running about 186/130.
Originally Posted by hypochondriac I am one who stopped drinking before I 'hit bottom' whatever that means and yeah, sometimes it is hard to remember why we quit, but we're not stupid, we can do this just as well as people who have lost everything. I don't get drunk, act like an asshat or have a hangover the vast majority of the time, I don't even overeat or feel a bit depressed most of the time, but I'm getting heartburn with an increasing regularity. To be honest, I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or the energy drinks I use as mixers that give me the heartburn... but since I rarely drink one without the other anymore, the question is academic. |
Thank you this post is very good :scorebad . Hoping you get the help you need . You are in a good place |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:29 AM. |