Brand new day and a brand new start
 

Ok, deep breath, here I go.
I hate where my life has gone. I am starting new today. I drank my last bottle of wine last night and hope it sticks this time. I am tired of the sluggish day after. I'm tired of not feeling coherent and just want to hide away from everyone and everything. I am tired of constantly thinking of when I should start drinking for the day. I'm tired of feeling ashamed.
I want to be a better mom. I don't want my children to remember me as a withdrawn, depressed, stressed out, horrible mother.
I have wasted so much time and money and am desperately wanting to end the one person pity party. I want to love myself again. I know I can do this. Thank you for letting me post here. It really helps see it written out. I hope this place will help me pull out of this funk.
Thanks again

Congrats on your great decision !

You and your kids do deserve better, and you can do this !

Key is to have a plan. This can not be done alone, I certainly have tried and failed..

Get into a recovery program, perhaps counseling too..

Good luck and keep posting !!

Thank you for your kind words. i attempted to quit in Feb but it didn't stick. Then it turned into just one more time...hopefully not this time! I felt so much better a week after quitting. Things have been stressful since my husband recently found out his biological father passed away. He died alone and in a lot of pain due to cirrhosis. why we turned back to drinking is beyond me. We know the final outcome of this lifestyle. I guess we just wanted to take the pain away, but it made it more complicated in the end.

I strongly suggest you get to your local AA meeting, lots of support there. Grab that 24 hour chip and start getting better...

It's a disease that tells us it does not exist.. I could not trust myself at the end, somehow despite my best intentions I always ended up picking up alcohol after work...

It is also progressive.

Please keep us posted on your progress !

I have two kids and the reason I am quitting is bc of them. My mother passed away from cirrohis 2 years ago. I to know how ugly this disease can become and yet I continue to drink. Most bad decisions I have made in my life are b/c alcohol is involved. And I to know that I cannot have just 1. It never works....ever. I joined this site last week and have found it to be a very useful support system. I have woke up the past two mornings completly sober and feeling great. I am just fighting the cravings for it now. Good luck to you. We can all do this together :)

All the best to you. This site is wonderful. I was nervous at first about trying to quit drinking and constantly seeing alcohol related posts. But I now feel it will give me a better chance and success. Every time I have tried to quit before, I would constantly be thinking of alcohol or wondering if I could just have it "one last time" This is much better than having my brain try to trick me into a drink. Hearing other peoples stories is inspiring and has put perspective on why I am doing what I am doing. We can and will beat this!!!

welcome ForMy2Boys :)

D