you're right soberlicious-I.ve read posts without logging in

I'm glad you're thinking about what his reaction means in regards to the bigger picture of your relationship in general. Pretty sure I'd fall off my chair if my husband thought he had any business in my business here.

For me, it's important to have a place that's mine....a place where I can say what I really feel without being held back, or having to dilute that expression over fears someone might read it.

I always advise people to change their password if they even suspect their account may have been compromised.

A change of name and avatar can be good too.

If you want to change you name PK, PM Anna.

D

You can. I started that way last week.

This is an open forum - meaning anyone can read it - it needs to be that way.

Only members can access your profile tho - assuming you have the permissions set that way....

and nooone can read your PMs...unless they have a password to log in here or, of course, you've left SR open, or they can read your email notifications.

D

It's important for you to have a safe place to come and talk about what you need to talk about. So, listen to Dee's advice about name-changing, etc.

honestly, the more i read posts here the more confident i am in holding to my decision to never get married. that said, i'd recommend downloading the chrome browser if you don't have it already, then when you use this site choose the option 'new incognito window' and then it won't record your history. the nosey fool can't be nosey about it if he has no way to see your browsing history.

Tell him to buzz off!

It is a tough position to be in. You definitely deserve privacy. However, suddenly moving to increase your privacy may raise suspicions (justified or not). I used to be the jealous type, but finally learned everyone needs some privacy and just learned to trust and not pry. No amount of privacy settings will help a lack of trust.

That said, if there are problems with the marriage, then the both of you will need to work on them if they are to be fixed. It might be worth it to begin discussing some of these issues and your needs with him. There are multiple perspectives on these issues.

Firefox has a similar 'Private Browsing' option - but you need to remember to turn it on ...and off.

D

My wife and I make it a point to not reveal our forum names to one another (we don't participate on the same forums). We also have our own computers and email accounts. Just because you're married, in my view, doesn't mean you must share everything. Privacy is important.

Sounds like some trust issues. I private message people online ... it doesn't mean I'm cheating. Heck, I even talk to other people in person without my wife being around ... it doesn't mean I'm going to be unfaithful. You're entitled to your privacy and your own life.

I use the "in private" browsing option in IE. It opens a new window, and then "in private" is turned off when that window is closed.

My crazy jealous ex used to check the history too. What a weirdo.

I've been on both sides of this equation - both the snooper and the snoopee.

Unfortunately, the snooping confirmed my suspicions.
At the time, I thought this justified my actions.
To be honest, I'm not sure that it didn't.
In both cases, I asked the questions up front and got what I knew were lies.

But the tables were turned on me when one of my daughters found out I was posting on a support website. She got herself an account and found me with little difficulty. I had used a name she could guess and shared sufficient details of my life that it was a no-brainer for her to be sure she had found me. And here's the kicker - she found details that I wrote about what I had snooped on AND shared the information with other people. What a mess.

I'm quite certain she believed what she did was justified.
To be honest, I'm sure it was not.
Double standard?
Not sure.

But here's what I learned from that incident:
First, you have a need and a right to your privacy, as do I.
Just because I am close to you doesn't mean I have a right to know every single thing about you.

Second, it is important to address the difficult stuff of life directly with the people in your life. Kahlil Gibrahn wrote something like, "If you must speak honestly, speak with love." I posted about my struggles with other people in my life much more frankly than I did with the people I was struggling with. And I was not entirely balanced when I was speaking with my 3D folks because I was hurt. And scared. Not to mention, they didn't give me no sympathy when I attacked them! (go figure)

So my take-aways are.
Respect and preserve privacy - yours and theirs.
Be kind and honest in all forums of communication.

I too, would suggest that you change your username.
Just to be safe.

IE 9 also has private browsing, as does Safari. Any browser that isreasonably updated will offer this.

Lordy! I've had those jealous husband's and boyfriends in the past, but not anymore. My husband now is also a member on here. He reads what I post on the Hen House. He even started posting on there too. We could start our own comedy show and we had some fun with our posts on there. He isn't using it now though. But when he was using SR for posting on the HH. We never had a problem with each other being on there.

He'll get a little "PISY" now about me being on here during the late hours, but this is what I've told him. I don't go to meetings and I don't have a Sponsor. So this is where I come to for support. I give my email address to very few and PM others. Then I told him the late hours are ME time. I take care of our "kids" (My Avatar Chickens) during my waking hours and give him my time when he gets home from work and before he goes to bed at midnight. I'm not out running around, going to bars to meet with friends either. So if he has a problem with me being here on SR? SPILL IT NOW! The only thing he said was: "He thought I was having an online affair because anytime he'd walk into the room here. I'd reduce the page". My answer to that was; "He's always asking me; Who am I typing a book to? And that's why I reduced the page". It's none of his business what I'm saying at the time I'm saying it. He has his own password and if he really wants to see what I'm saying on here? He can come read it for himself. Then we'll discuss anything he wants to discuss. I HAVE NO secrets from him and he knows it. So he leaves me alone now.

One thing you could tell your husband is this: This is FREE counseling. Counselors are NOT allowed to discuss what goes on in their meetings either. Try that one. :)

TOD