facebook or here?
 

I'm obviously struggling with who I am, what I need and where I'm going in life. Is it more acceptable to plead my struggles here or lay them out on facebook for my world to know? I say here, semi-annonomously, relieving the stress inside....but for a recovery site, there seems to be a lot of judgement, just saying....:a108:

Seems like a matter of personal preference. Speaking for myself, I am quite certain I would experience more judgment on Facebook than I do here. Mostly in the form of being unfriended or put on ignore from people who don't want to spend their free time reading about my drinking issues.

Damn avrt, ur probably the 30th person to tell me to check it out...I was much more comfortable completely knowing aa isn't for me.....I have to check it out now...if it makes sense to me I have no more excuses for my bad decisions...damnit...trying to toys r us it and not grow up...but its an undeniable fact of lie I guess

haha, yeah life without the chemicals is a big boy game, R2. I think you'll find it's pretty safistying once in the game, tho. welcome.

I haven't seen any judgement from the members here in your threads.
I have seen a lot of wisdom support and encouragement tho :)

I doubt you'd get that on Facebook.

D

Dee74, I agree...even on fb with my posts there is this paranoia about my posts that is unjustified...its in my mind...thank you for pointing it out...

hahaha, I call it the Famebook because anyone on their can make their profiles to be whatever they want the world to see them as. The nice thing about FB is that you can sort of get a away with making yourself out to be who you want the world to see you as.

This might not be your case, but I had a friend who would put on their she was a pro photographer, had some nice pictures etc. In reality she works in a photo lab......makes minimum wage.......and her life isnt that interesting.....but in the FB world........she works for a photo studio, takes awesome pics etc. It can be fun, but it can also become a behavioral habbit. If you need to talk to people or tell them you feeling on recovery, I think you will find a lot more advice here than on FB. And to be honest, this whole journey really doesnt need to be everyones business. I can garuantee you more people on here will understand my struggle than all my friends on FB. So for me, I let it go a few weeks ago, till i get my mind tied on a little more straight. Nothing wrong with taking a little break from Facebook and it might be a good little goal to set.

Either way FB is fun, and its really up to you, but why not try it staying away from it for a few weeks.......see if it helps???

I'll be back on their in a month or so......but its been kind of nice to be honest.......

Hope this helps or gives you a different perspective.......

What many newcomers here call "judgement" is really the voice of experience from people that have been there, done that, got the T-shirt, JMHO.

I think I have the reverse comlex, my life over the last 6 years is facebook worthy more than most but I tried to make "normal". But my issues were extensive...goes with my lifestyle....id rather lay it out on here but still have this fear of judgement which is where a lot of my problems lie........

I don't like FB. From my experience, there is a lot of negativity. Plus, my FB "friends" for the most part, aren't people I would turn to when I have a problem. I rarely post on FB, but gave no problem (and feel really good about) posting gere.

Well said!

In my experience, I sent out an e-mail to a few close friends and chatted in person with my family. As far as the rest of my 400 facebook friends know, I'm fine. I try to stay away from posting anything personal there, just post pics ("cool bridge I saw in New Mexico last week" type stuff).

The e-mail was helpful because my close friends could offer their support, plus I had 10 extra pairs of eyes on me at all times and I owed someone my best effort. I'd probably have done it more measuredly now that I think about it, but at the time I was hurting bad and needed to get it out. Good luck.

LOVE this!

RoundTwo...
What exactly does "facebook worthy" mean?

Rather than share all the nitty, gritty details on FB, I've used it to post a couple of cool things I've accomplished since I got sober on Facebook, without giving any context. "Look at this coffee table we built! We're pretty pleased with ourselves." I enjoyed getting the positive affirmation for accomplishing some things that I never would have accomplished before. But I think I'll keep the rest of my journey to my close friends and SR. For me, FB only gets to see the good stuff. :)

I personally think facebook is a wast of time, regardless of whether or not folks have an addiction issue. It's all about vanity and one-upsmanship, which is exactly the opposite of what one dealing with addiction issues needs.

Forums such as SR offer support and help from people who are like minded and have your recovery in their best interest.

I think it means there are pictures of cats doing funny stuff in it.

I'd also like to know what "facebook worthy" means!

I would say both are acceptable and you could try both(?), but if the question is more of what might be more beneficial/what might help then I'd say try here first because right now its anonymous.

I agree. Since I've stopped reading FB so much I feel MUCH happier. I was always comparing my life with what others were up to/wanting to fit in, and that's part of the problem I was trying to solve with alcohol too.

Please; please, please let it be here and not facebook.

I believe Facebook can have big ramifications on your life depending on what you share.
It's not as innocent as it seems!
The first thing my manager does (who is not on face book) when he is recruiting new team members, is ask me to look on my facebook to see what I can find out about a potential new recruit.
Whether it is right or wrong to do that, I don't know, but it happens!

In addition to this if you posted about alcohol you would probably be bombarded with drink related advertisements which I think you could probably do without at this moment in time!

Perhaps if you are wanting social networking, go for a recovery related one.
I am sure they must exist.

Sorry, I take back what I said about either is acceptable - Sasha is right, FB is far too public.

Maybe we need 'soberbook' instead?
No apology needed at all, we are all entitled to our opinions.


My best to you xx

LOL "soberbook"...jump on it, Zuckerberg!!

I have never posted anything on FB concerning my alcoholism for a couple of reasons. First, most are not alcoholics and would never understand my insane way of thinking. Second, it is a social media site. Employers watch that type of thing, at least the company I worked for did. I'm currently unemployed and looking for a job. I would hate to be passed over for a job because they checked my FB and I had any references to drinking/alcohol/anger issues.

I do use FB to keep up with my 5 brothers & sisters and nieces and nephews. My "friend" list is very small. The only people I have "friended" are people I know in real life.

I agree with Sasha - when hiring someone the first place I look is FB to see what they are posting as it gives me an idea as to their character. I know a lot of people use it differently. I for example use it to post family pics and links to articles of interest. I don't brag/boast there and am very aware that if my boss were to see it there would be nothing on there that would be questionable. Doesn't mean it's boring - just professional.

I know a manager who checks what time members of his team post on facebook. If it is into the early hours of the morning, he questions if they should be going to bed and sleeping earlier as they maybe tired the next day and not work as hard as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one on FB even knows I ever drank, and I plan to keep it that way

That is taking things way too far. If that manager has to do that to tell if someone is doing a good job at work then that manager is incompetent at best.

Thanks for the replies. Was dealing with some stuff and was not sober when I posted this. This is definitely the place to talk of such things. As far as the "facebook worthy" comment, just intoxicated bs, nothing more. Working on getting back on the right path. Thanks for the support.