This is my last chance
 

People talk about rock bottom, it's different I guess for everyone....but this is mine. I have let myself down for such a long time, so many years of saying I'll stop but never stopping. So many years of lies.

I have a milestone life birthday coming up on Sunday, and the fact that I am still an alcoholic mess at 49 is so horrifying to me. This is it. I am done.

I have grown to despise alcohol as much as I despise myself.

There's nothing I can do about my regrets and wasted years, but I can turn 50 sober. I need to do this; I want this more than I ever knew I could.....just don't think I can do it on my own.

So I'm here.....:scared:

You don't have to do it alone. And by the way,I'm a little past 50 at which age I still didn't get it. And didn't want it then. So don't feel so bad about the age factor or lost days of the past. You have 2day,and that's what is important. I haven't been sober too long,so I'm not the authority on any of this. I'm just working at it one day at a time. Seeking help and support wherever I can get it. Educating myself on recovery methods and alcoholism. Glad you are here. And by the way,wishing you a Happy Birthday this upcoming Sunday. What a great present to give yourself.

you can do it - but as you wrote, not by yourself. For me AA is the boat that I can cling to when the oceans are rocky.

Awesome and welcome!

What are you going to do different this time, compared to the times before where you didn't stay sober?

No, you dont have to do it alone!
Welcome to SR...it has been a very big help for me :).
And Id like to ask the same question as Zune.....how is it going to be different? I ask this because I know that for myself I needed a plan, a lifestyle change, a support system, lots of self care etc. Every time I said I was quitting and that was it I meant it....but I didnt follow through with any help for myself, and Ive found that to be critical.
You CAN reach 50 sober!!!!!!! We are rooting for ya ;)

Hi Venus,

I was not much younger than you when I stopped drinking and I have had very little time for regrets. I do regret that I didn't get help for my depression/anxiety, but I also accept that I wasn't able to until that point in my life. We are all where we're supposed to be and right now is the time when you can begin to recover and enjoy life as a sober person.

I got sober almost one month after I turned 50.

Working towards 21 months today!

:) You can do this!!!! :)

Hey venus, you can do this, keep coming around here, tons of support and you'll get a lot of great suggestions and experience from everyone here. Welcome to SR. :)

if your still alive then you will always have a chance to quit

Welcome to the family! It's never too late to better your life. Just don't give up on yourself, ever! :ghug3

Welcome (back), venuscat!

I'm sure it's hard to imagine right now, but better days are ahead. Be careful with detoxing and stay close to this forum - it really helps!:ghug3

Good to see you posting, venuscat. As long as there's life, there's always another chance. :)

Things looked awfully grim to me when I quit, too. Now I see that's because I was still trapped in addiction. Of course I was depressed, and of course you are too—it seems that's how pretty much everyone feels when they reach the point of quitting.

And, you know, the age thing is relative. Someone else could look you and feel considerable envy that you're quitting so young.

And it's pretty cool to be turning 50, and know that your best years are ahead of you. They are, you know. You're going to be so grateful you didn't give up. :)

I wish I had quit when I was 50, venuscat. I believe you can quit right now - I wish I had known it was possible for me to do it then. Make no mistake, it is possible for you too.

And Happy 50th Birthday to you!

Never quit quitting!

Happy Birthday :)

Venuscat,
just remembering my 50th now, which i used to break a couple-of-months-abstinent spell by asking someone at my party to share her wine with me. then had to figure out where and how to get more without it looking too odd that i was leaving the party in my honour earlier than anyone else! oh the yuck-factor!
drank for a more than another year after that but can tell you that yeah, there's life after getting sober! real life!good, bad, indifferent, but real.
you can do this. congrats on the decision for a sober life!
being on a forum daily was a huge help to me, and maybe you'll find that to be true for you, too.
happy upcoming b-day to you.

Welcome!!!:)

Welcome to SR venuscat :)

D

Great decision, it's never too late while you're still kicking

Wow......thank you all so much for your responses.....I'm overwhelmed, and incredibly grateful.....Zune and Windancer ~ the first thing I am doing differently is telling the truth. I never tell the truth; I lie to myself over and over. Other than that, I'm here, and I won't run away this time....my other personal favourite.
Last night I asked myself the question: is it possible to be happy without alcohol and drugs? And I realised that I don't know the answer. It might be very possible, but I never give myself the chance to find out....I realised that the people I need to ask are right here. I intend to listen for once, and put my ego away.
That's my first step....or maybe my second, because God and I both know that I am powerless over alcohol, and I finally admit it......so much love to you all, and thank you for caring :tyou

All the best venuscat. Don't just rely on your own willpower, after all you've been addicted for a long time and your alcoholic voice ain't going to go quietly. I say this not to discourage you in any way, just to suggest you marshal your support and have a plan for dealing with the cravings and possibly withdrawal.
Have you contacted any health professionals, or AA or some other support network?

thank u....."hope is the thing with feathers..."
my soul is singing a little, it may be faint, but ur supoort is so awesome.....thank u!!!!!

Dearest FeelingGreat,

Thank you for your message ~ I am 3 days sober, and filled with gratitude....and I believe you are completely right.....I cannot do this on my own. I have this site, my boyfriend's support, my AA/NA readings and when I can afford the petrol, I will begin regular meetings.

I spent so many hours in the chat room yesterday.....didn't leave. It kept me safe, and it was the first time I have done something productive with my evening in a very long time.

I am going to reach 50years of age sober, (on Sunday) and I finally understand that it just might not be too late for me. So I am willing, and I am ready.

Thank yo so much for your advice, and I hope that you really are feeling great!

sincerely, Venus :tyou:ghug3

Hello my SR friends,

Today I am 47 days sober. Quite a miracle for me. I decided to come back and read this thread after someone in my Class of Feb forum suggested it.

It seems like such a long time ago, and I feel so sad and heartbroken for the woman I was. Also, a little amazed, because that woman doesn't exist anymore.

I can remember the agony and the depths of despair, but it as if I am looking at a past life, a time filled with indescribable shame and self loathing that no longer belongs to me.

But I am glad beyond words that I came back and looked ~ I never, ever want to forget this. This was where my disease took me, and this is the very place I will return to if I do not stay vigilant and committed to my recovery, one day at a time, always.

Thank you God.

And thank you to everyone on SR.

your very grateful friend,

Venus xx

that's great news venuscat,well done

Sober, saucy, sexy and a semi-century. Well done!

Hey Venus
Wow a another belly button birthday in chat. A sober 50th is really something to look forward o. Your not alone your stuck with us. Have a good weekend. I am in Sydney. Not sure when I will be back on chat
Take care
Cheers

Ignore. Can't find delete!

One word - Awesome!

Congrats, Venus, I'm very interested in what you have done in the last 47 days to achieve your goal?

All the best.

Bob R

Your not alone! Today is my day 1 (again and my last) we can do this together!!