YvRGuy---Well Ive been to two meetings before. That was over a month ago. They were both speaker meetings because I am uncomfortable to go to a discussion meeting and talk, but I am sure talking would help. I know I need to step up and go to one soon! The website helps a lot and working out does also. I have worked out while i was actively drinking and it always felt horrible. Today made me remember when it felt good. I have put on 15 pound since i started drinking a lot. So I think making sure I workout a lot will be motivation. Plus I have a half marathon in April I need to get ready for which my binges have given me great set backs. Not sure what else to do. I am going to stay away from people and places that make me want to drink

Gforce- no worries, you are right about coming out to my family. I would feel so much better but I still am not ready. I think I want to get this under control before I find a way I am comfortable coming out. Yes it all is very sad that people are not accepting. I believe my family would accept me. I am the problem. I need to accept me. I am not sure how to do that yet, but I believe putting down the drink will help me figure that out.

Ok almost on 24 hours....The high i was on before is def coming down. I am so exahasted and even under my eyes hurt.

Good for you...you're almost through day 1. Can you take a nice shower or bath, have a little snack and try for some rest? You're going to wake up tomorrow, so happy you didn't drink today!

Tomorrow morning is a new day, get off to a positive start and keep your mind on sobriety! Good luck.

My story exactly, Hevyn. I can't give myself the option of drinking AT ALL. I kidded myself for years that I could. Even the "one day at a time" doesn't work for me - although I know it works for a lot of people.

Hang in there, Wino, and keep reaching out for support, here and in any other ways available to you.

Thank you...still at work....I am going to go home soon....walk the dog...have sleepy tea...take a hot shower and sleep.....I just hope I will sleep

Good Morning,
Today is a new day:) You might not have slept well last night, but sleep will come. Think about something special you'd enjoy today.....a walk, an ice cream cone.....a nap :)

Well I got to 26 hours around 3 am...and I was up and my body exhausted... I. Kept getting jerked awake and that gave me anxiety so I had a shot of vodka..then again at 515...ugh I'm disappointed in myself. I do feel like this is progress...I need to get past the night part...I did not have so much trouble sleeping last time and that was about a month ago....I feel like if I can get passed the first night I'll be OK....I have no urge to drink

From what I've read here, the effects of relapse become worse each time, which is why you might be having more trouble than a month ago.....but it WILL pass and you WILL sleep again:)

Why not get rid of the vodka so it's not so convenient?

Finally slept..on my official day two!