I hope I can do this !
 

HI, I have been lurking on this site for some time. My drinking has got out of control and the one who suffers is not just me but my 13 year old boy. When I drink (up to two bottles of wine a night) I end up yelling at him - the next day I am so hungover I cannot parent him properly . I feel disgusted with myself and need to quit. Of course New Years Eve is around the corner but I am hoping that on Jan 1st I can say goodbye to the booze for ever. I get terrible anxiety on waking and have awful gastritis. I just want to return to being the nice, fun person I was. My son says things like ' you've changed - you no longer smile' ; ' I wouldn't be surprised if this kills you' and last night ' eh-oh, it's starting again ..' !! I don't even know why I drink as I have a good, interesting life, great job, enough money.. what is my problem ? My father was quite a heavy drinker and my cousin died from alcoholism. Still I need to get a grip before it is too late. I stopped for nearly three weeks in August and have had a few weeks where I take one or two days off but then it starts up again. I am looking for support here so please help - I have got to succeed and get my life back. All the very best for a happy (and sober) new year.

hi,you CAN do this,welcome to SR

Why wait till New Year-who knows what bad things could happen?

Maybe make today your day 1-come join our December class full of people quitting this month. Your son will be so proud and pleased if you are sober on NY day -start as you mean to go on :)

Welcome to SR.

Yes, you absolutely CAN do this. I am also the parent of teenagers. They saw me drunk far too often and I just wasn't the parent I could and should have been.

The good news is that it can all change, and it begins with you deciding you don't want your old life any more and putting down that drink.

Read what works for other people, ask questions, reach out when you need to.

I've been sober for 7 months now, and it started with a post on here....x

Thanks.. here's hoping
 

Thanks for your wise words. I just don't recognise myself any more and neither does my son. I am determined to stop today - why wait for New year's day as you say. The advantages would be :
1. I would be a nicer person
2. I would be a better parent
3. My anxiety would go away (wouldn't it ?)
4. My gastritis would go away
5. I'd lose weight (yay!)
6. I'd be able to think straight
7. I'd save money

and 8 .. I'd be me !!!
Please please help me as I embark on this .. it is just so very hard.

good for you. stick around SR,especially if you want a drink

We're all here to help.

And as for the anxiety, I was on meds for anxiety and depression for 6 years. Not any more. Turns out I was depressed because I drank not the other way round x

How does it work ?
 

So how does it work ? - if I feel like I want a drink I post on here and someone (hopefully) will persuade me otherwise...?

First off welcome to SR. You can obviously see that alcohol mixed with you equates trouble. You also stated that your teenage son is seeing your mood and most likely your attitude and behaviors change when you drink. It is just the wee hours of Sunday morning here an you are talking about waiting another two full days to begin your journey to sobriety. Lets just say you were cooking in the kitchen and you severely cut your hand. Do you think you would wait two extra days to seek assistance. I think not. Same here. Why wait. You seem to know your child is unhappy with your drinking and you know it is a time that they too are looking at things to experiment with. Im taking for ever trying to say what better way to set an example than to see his parent rid themselves of something that is damaging not only themselves but the family. I wish that you could find a way to start today. You can beat this but you have to work hard at it. Good luck and seek info and support here. It's 3:09 am so obviously there is always someone around.

Thank you mytime66- wise advice. I will start today. No child should have to see a parent in such a state...

Well it didnt quite work like that for me...

I needed to make some huge lifestyle changes. It wasn't easy at first because my H drank so I was surrounded by alcohol. But I changed all my routines. I stopped seeing my drinking friends. I filled my evenings when I was most tempted by hanging around on SR, and becoming a member of AA.
I joined the class of March (later the class of May when I relapsed), and still post there regularly. Not only when I feel I want a drink but to exchange thoughts, worries and experiences because by helping others we also help ourselves.

I would suggest you join the class of December, and read others stories of what has worked/is working for them.

The first few weeks are a bumpy ride, but so so worth it x

Thank you Jeni - did you find AA helped you ? I don't believe in God so have trouble with the 'higher power' thing .. also, when you had an urge to drink , what did you do ?. I try and fight it and then find myself en route to the super market (still fighting it), at the checkout (still fighting it )and then hey presto I come back home with a couple of bottles of wine :-(

I agree totally with what you are saying Jeni26. I think I started typing way back at the third or fourth post time. And I too walked to same route as you with the friendship changes and time management. All I'm saying is all of us have to start and why not start now.

Welcome Imustdothis :)
that's pretty much it - and you can encourage and help other people too :)

the class of December Ready mentioned is a great support for those quitting this month - why not check it out? :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-11.html

D

the problem with fighting it is that it usually wins as it is powerful.

acceptance, surrender, don't fight it-accept the feelings,let them wash over you,breathe,they will pass.Its called urge surfing and it works surprisingly well.there is a link on here somewhere,or you could google it

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

D

Yes, AA has made/is making a fundamental difference to my life.
I'm not a religious person either and wasn't sure what to expect. In the early days I just needed somewhere to go to be with people who understood and didn't judge me. It was like being on SR but only face to face.
Since I've got deeper into it, I have learned to embrace it totally and it suits me. I still have no religion but I do have a faith in something that is personal to me.

There are alternatives to AA, check out the secular forums. I can only tell you what has worked for me. I need face to face support, I need numbers to call when I'm in trouble. I need to feel supported all the time I guess.

You can do this xx

Mytime66-I think our posts keep crossing. I wasn't referring to you when I said that didn't work for me...it was in response to the do I just post when I feel like drinking post from the OP.
Sorry for the confusion. I agree with everything you said xx

Welcome.to SR Imustdothis...I'm not religious either...But I do have a year and a half sober in AA...And I had a long drinking career that cost me everything...Almost my life. Here is the Big Book online...I recommend reading it.....For me AA is so much more than just putting down the drink...It was learning to live without it...To change the way I treated myself and others...And to make real friends...That don't drink. Maybe it's for you...Maybe it's not...I guess the only way to find out would be to try it. I wish you the best whatever you do...SR is great for online support.

Start at the beginning but I'm sure chapter 4 will interest you.

The text of Alcoholics Anonymous

Welcome to SR must, glad you're here! :welcome For me, the fellowship/friendships of AA and then working the steps has been instrumental in staying sober. Wishing you the very best in your chosen method of recovery!

I was a wino too but thanks to the help of my counselor and the good people here I've been happily sober for three years now.:)


Welcome to the family! :ghug3