It really is depressing!!!
 

Just reading post lots of people who just keep relapsing over and over seems the minority are the ones who stay sober for good... Why is it so hard for people???

I always thought I had it all under control. I was delusional. Only took me 25 years to get my 18 months of today.

"The brains transmission mechanism cannot be put into neutral. ..Disturbances in the neurotransmitter system involving serotonin, for example." (Taken from page 354 of Gabor's, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts).

If addiction stems from a physiological/neurobiological problem in the brain, it would follow that the brain would need it's feel good drug and would try to bring about circumstances that would allow it to have what it needs. Isn't this why it is such hard work to overcome addiction? Work at all levels of human experience must be undertaken (medical, psychological, behavioural, etc. etc. types of work). This work is in the real world and done only by the truly brave and courageous. Addicts want escape from the real world, into the feel good world of the "high." And so, relapse after relapse until something changes - until some acceptance of the situation occurs - until some responsibility for doing something about the addiction occurs.

Audra

I know for me that I tried to stop or cut down in the past because I knew I should, not because I wanted to. I think we need to reach a point where we are done. It isn't easy, but I know I don't want to go backwards again.

Hang in there Lion!!

Because it is. I wish I knew the real answer to that question because it would be so helpful for so many, myself included.

I've accepted the fact that fighting for my life in a street brawl or a hospital bed would be no different. And it just is what it is. I have to look at it that simply or it just becomes overwhelming.

One day at a time...but I've only got one life and I want to use those days wisely :)

I think for me it's easier to relapse rather than be strong and fight the urge. I tend to want to stay in my comfortable rut at times due to depression and loneliness. When I'm feeling so down I figure why not, what difference does it make anyway. Like today is a bad day, but I'm choosing to fight rather than give in.

The reality is that a large number of people will relapse.

'By the 3-year follow-up, 62.4% of individuals in the helped group were remitted, compared with only 43.4% of individuals in the no help group'.

Basically, if someone doesn't get help 57% will relapse and with help 38% will relapse.

Rates and predictors of relapse after natural and treated remission from alcohol use disorders

Don't let these facts get you down. You can only control yourself, so be one of the successes.

Most of us have tried and failed. And tried some more and hopefully eventually succeed. I feel very thankful just to be alive after the battle.

I think it is most important (for me) to focus on my own recovery and take care of my side of the street. That way, I am becoming more solid in sobriety and healthier every day. Maybe my experiences and the way I live will help someone else by example and by my encouragement.

I remember I used to find this so depressing. But then I was hanging around on the 'Newcomers' section of this forum. In the AA meetings I go to the majority of the people have been sober for years.

I agree with Rose that it is easier to give in than fight the urge (except I don't fight it so much as ignore it). Sometimes the urge can be pretty loud. But I don't have to give in to every impulse I have.

To be honest, the more sober time which passes the less depressing this gets. I have more hope now than I used to.

Well, Lion. Even being in deep blue mood today, I won't completely agree with you.

Yes, people are posting here because they are relapsing and hitting the bottom, or not hitting, and seeking help. But there are also threads about people who are staying sober over a month and a year. And, I think, some of people in recovery just stop posting here. And it's Ok.

It's like being every day in hospital and see patients every day. People recover and leave hospital, and then new patients arrive.

There is a great post by our "old-timer" (in terms of sobriety, of course) Itchy. It's inspiring and encouriging, and definitely not depressing.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-them-13.html

My best wishes to all. Keep the faith.

I was actually just thinking the exact same thing a few minutes ago. It's been the case on every other board I've ever visited of this type. It's the nature of the Beast. Practically everyone who comes here is here for the same reason: looking for that one thing that will, at last, set him/her free from addiction. We're sick and tired of failing. We're battle weary and forever hopeful that the very thing we need to succeed is just within our reach. It can be discouraging to see others falter the same as we have, but if we don't give up, we have nowhere to go but forward. I've been fighting this for more than half my life now and I'm nowhere near giving up.

Hang in there, each and every one of us here can do this. It's not impossible for anyone.

That's the million dollar question right there. Personally, I think it's because people don't believe in their own personal power. By personal power, I mean the ability to pull from appropriate resources. People are taught not to trust themselves. When you have been addicted to a substance and been engaged in the irresponsible behavior that often ensues as a result, it is very easy to believe that you know nothing, you are nothing, and you are not smart enough to find the answers. You are, after all, nothing but a junkie/drunk...but it's just not true. Beating an addiction is hard, but certainly not even close to impossible. I think the recovery movement as a whole has something to do with why it's so hard for people to recover. My opinion is controversial, I know, but you asked...

Bingo! What is known about the nature of addiction is still woefully inadequate to deal with the problem. Since we are in the minority, it's much easier to just lump us into categories and filter us into 12-step programs or drug therapy or any number of other largely unsuccessful "treatments." It still is, predominately, up to the addict to pull himself/herself back together. That's OK, it can still be done.

I also believe, at least as far as I'm concerned, we can tend to overthink this thing, too. We become obsessed with it and run the risk of burning ourselves out. Too often, the next phase is giving into what seems easier and we slip up again. Sometimes living life means doing just that: living.

As Soberlicious pointed out 'learned helplessness' was a huge hindrance to my recovery efforts. When I was in active addiction the last thing I believed was: I could recover from the hopeless state I was in. What I did not know at the time was I could empower myself by developing healthy living skills.

May be that I am just more spoiled than most but I have found that I have to enjoy what I get from sobriety more than what I get fom drinking in order to stay sober. I am 10 days from a year sober. Today i like what I see in the mirror. A year ago I couldn't stand to look.
I feel great about myself. I just generaly feel great. 355 days without a hangover. I want this not that and i think as long as I do then I will do what it takes to maintain it. Just like I used to do with my drinking.

There are a lot of great people who have gotten sober, are happy and have lots of time that way. I see them all the time in the SR forums, treatment settings and in AA. I pay attention to them because they generally focus on what works instead of what does not.

You can go through life and look at garbage or you can look at beauty. Where you turn your gaze is up to you.

If you want to look for relapse stories you'll find them.
But there are success stories too.

I've been here nearly 6 years now and I've seen hundreds of people achieve lasting recovery.

Don't overcomplicate it.
It may not be easy but 'don't drink, be happy' is pretty simple.

We all just need to find the right amount of effort and support for us to be able to do that.

It takes a lot of work, effort and commitment, but I do not believe it's beyond anyone :)

D

Thanks all some really great replies.... Sorry if was a depressing thread had a bad hour or so feel much better now....peace!!

Here is a quote I like

“To set up what you like against what you dislike – that is the disease of the mind.” – Seng T’san

Yea I am always saying sorry and usually get nailed for it. I'm learning we are here to share our thoughts and feelings, right Dee?