It really is depressing!!!
It really is depressing!!!
Just reading post lots of people who just keep relapsing over and over seems the minority are the ones who stay sober for good... Why is it so hard for people???
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 129
"The brains transmission mechanism cannot be put into neutral. ..Disturbances in the neurotransmitter system involving serotonin, for example." (Taken from page 354 of Gabor's, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts).
If addiction stems from a physiological/neurobiological problem in the brain, it would follow that the brain would need it's feel good drug and would try to bring about circumstances that would allow it to have what it needs. Isn't this why it is such hard work to overcome addiction? Work at all levels of human experience must be undertaken (medical, psychological, behavioural, etc. etc. types of work). This work is in the real world and done only by the truly brave and courageous. Addicts want escape from the real world, into the feel good world of the "high." And so, relapse after relapse until something changes - until some acceptance of the situation occurs - until some responsibility for doing something about the addiction occurs.
Audra
If addiction stems from a physiological/neurobiological problem in the brain, it would follow that the brain would need it's feel good drug and would try to bring about circumstances that would allow it to have what it needs. Isn't this why it is such hard work to overcome addiction? Work at all levels of human experience must be undertaken (medical, psychological, behavioural, etc. etc. types of work). This work is in the real world and done only by the truly brave and courageous. Addicts want escape from the real world, into the feel good world of the "high." And so, relapse after relapse until something changes - until some acceptance of the situation occurs - until some responsibility for doing something about the addiction occurs.
Audra
I know for me that I tried to stop or cut down in the past because I knew I should, not because I wanted to. I think we need to reach a point where we are done. It isn't easy, but I know I don't want to go backwards again.
Hang in there Lion!!
Hang in there Lion!!
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Because it is. I wish I knew the real answer to that question because it would be so helpful for so many, myself included.
I've accepted the fact that fighting for my life in a street brawl or a hospital bed would be no different. And it just is what it is. I have to look at it that simply or it just becomes overwhelming.
One day at a time...but I've only got one life and I want to use those days wisely
I've accepted the fact that fighting for my life in a street brawl or a hospital bed would be no different. And it just is what it is. I have to look at it that simply or it just becomes overwhelming.
One day at a time...but I've only got one life and I want to use those days wisely
I think for me it's easier to relapse rather than be strong and fight the urge. I tend to want to stay in my comfortable rut at times due to depression and loneliness. When I'm feeling so down I figure why not, what difference does it make anyway. Like today is a bad day, but I'm choosing to fight rather than give in.
The reality is that a large number of people will relapse.
'By the 3-year follow-up, 62.4% of individuals in the helped group were remitted, compared with only 43.4% of individuals in the no help group'.
Basically, if someone doesn't get help 57% will relapse and with help 38% will relapse.
Rates and predictors of relapse after natural and treated remission from alcohol use disorders
Don't let these facts get you down. You can only control yourself, so be one of the successes.
'By the 3-year follow-up, 62.4% of individuals in the helped group were remitted, compared with only 43.4% of individuals in the no help group'.
Basically, if someone doesn't get help 57% will relapse and with help 38% will relapse.
Rates and predictors of relapse after natural and treated remission from alcohol use disorders
Don't let these facts get you down. You can only control yourself, so be one of the successes.
Most of us have tried and failed. And tried some more and hopefully eventually succeed. I feel very thankful just to be alive after the battle.
I think it is most important (for me) to focus on my own recovery and take care of my side of the street. That way, I am becoming more solid in sobriety and healthier every day. Maybe my experiences and the way I live will help someone else by example and by my encouragement.
I think it is most important (for me) to focus on my own recovery and take care of my side of the street. That way, I am becoming more solid in sobriety and healthier every day. Maybe my experiences and the way I live will help someone else by example and by my encouragement.
I agree with Rose that it is easier to give in than fight the urge (except I don't fight it so much as ignore it). Sometimes the urge can be pretty loud. But I don't have to give in to every impulse I have.
To be honest, the more sober time which passes the less depressing this gets. I have more hope now than I used to.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Well, Lion. Even being in deep blue mood today, I won't completely agree with you.
Yes, people are posting here because they are relapsing and hitting the bottom, or not hitting, and seeking help. But there are also threads about people who are staying sober over a month and a year. And, I think, some of people in recovery just stop posting here. And it's Ok.
It's like being every day in hospital and see patients every day. People recover and leave hospital, and then new patients arrive.
There is a great post by our "old-timer" (in terms of sobriety, of course) Itchy. It's inspiring and encouriging, and definitely not depressing.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-them-13.html
My best wishes to all. Keep the faith.
Yes, people are posting here because they are relapsing and hitting the bottom, or not hitting, and seeking help. But there are also threads about people who are staying sober over a month and a year. And, I think, some of people in recovery just stop posting here. And it's Ok.
It's like being every day in hospital and see patients every day. People recover and leave hospital, and then new patients arrive.
There is a great post by our "old-timer" (in terms of sobriety, of course) Itchy. It's inspiring and encouriging, and definitely not depressing.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-them-13.html
My best wishes to all. Keep the faith.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Hang in there, each and every one of us here can do this. It's not impossible for anyone.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
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Why is it so hard for people???
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
I also believe, at least as far as I'm concerned, we can tend to overthink this thing, too. We become obsessed with it and run the risk of burning ourselves out. Too often, the next phase is giving into what seems easier and we slip up again. Sometimes living life means doing just that: living.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
As Soberlicious pointed out 'learned helplessness' was a huge hindrance to my recovery efforts. When I was in active addiction the last thing I believed was: I could recover from the hopeless state I was in. What I did not know at the time was I could empower myself by developing healthy living skills.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: LA CA
Posts: 47
May be that I am just more spoiled than most but I have found that I have to enjoy what I get from sobriety more than what I get fom drinking in order to stay sober. I am 10 days from a year sober. Today i like what I see in the mirror. A year ago I couldn't stand to look.
I feel great about myself. I just generaly feel great. 355 days without a hangover. I want this not that and i think as long as I do then I will do what it takes to maintain it. Just like I used to do with my drinking.
I feel great about myself. I just generaly feel great. 355 days without a hangover. I want this not that and i think as long as I do then I will do what it takes to maintain it. Just like I used to do with my drinking.
There are a lot of great people who have gotten sober, are happy and have lots of time that way. I see them all the time in the SR forums, treatment settings and in AA. I pay attention to them because they generally focus on what works instead of what does not.
You can go through life and look at garbage or you can look at beauty. Where you turn your gaze is up to you.
You can go through life and look at garbage or you can look at beauty. Where you turn your gaze is up to you.
If you want to look for relapse stories you'll find them.
But there are success stories too.
I've been here nearly 6 years now and I've seen hundreds of people achieve lasting recovery.
Don't overcomplicate it.
It may not be easy but 'don't drink, be happy' is pretty simple.
We all just need to find the right amount of effort and support for us to be able to do that.
It takes a lot of work, effort and commitment, but I do not believe it's beyond anyone
D
But there are success stories too.
I've been here nearly 6 years now and I've seen hundreds of people achieve lasting recovery.
Don't overcomplicate it.
It may not be easy but 'don't drink, be happy' is pretty simple.
We all just need to find the right amount of effort and support for us to be able to do that.
It takes a lot of work, effort and commitment, but I do not believe it's beyond anyone
D
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