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-   -   Are you an innie or an outie?? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/268896-you-innie-outie.html)

Weasel1966 09-23-2012 09:46 AM

Are you an innie or an outie??
 
This is supposed to be a simple question so don't over think it. But are you the kind of person that can keep yourself occupied by things that tend to be more inward? Or are your the kind that needs the outside stimulation more?

The reason I ask is since having more sober time with my partner I find we have two completely different ways of trying to fill that time. I am more, writer, organize something I neglected for a while, read interesting articles, cook. He is more where we going to go? What are we going to do? How will I be entertained today?

This often leads to how are you going to entertain me today? And I am thinking I have plenty to do... Thanks.

After 18+ years I knew this about him but being sober makes it more pronounced since we don't spend time drinking.

So are you an innie or an outie?

Is one way harder on sobriety than the other?

MrsKing 09-23-2012 09:50 AM

When I first read the title, I thought you were talking about belly buttons! Ha!

I am a bit of both. I love to do solitary things but at the same time I also love to socialise. The latter I've only started really doing since being sober, which is strange because I used to think I socialised all the time. In fact, I just drank with other people all the time. It wasn't socialising at all. I now enjoy going on day trips with friends and spending time experiencing things with them... would never have happened before, and if it did, I'd just be waiting until we arrived home and could properly 'socialise' - ridiculous.

So... a bit of both. I need my alone time but I also love to do things outside of myself, also.

soberbythesea 09-23-2012 09:56 AM

I am definitely an introvert. Alcohol was honestly the only thing that ever really made me want to go out and socialize (probably part of the reason I drank.) Since quitting drinking, I find myself desperately wanting to be left alone a lot of the time, and getting irritable over the slightest things my husband does. Hopefully that will pass.

Rossy 09-23-2012 09:56 AM

Innie

Ekawo 09-23-2012 09:59 AM

I'm definitely strongly introverted, and we live in an extrovert dominant society with around 1/4 of people fitting the description of introverted. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by sensory input, especially social pressures. Our brains are just wired different. I tend to think innies would be more prone to insobriety to help with handling the go-go-go extrovert world. I know I've been.

I read a great book recently titled The Introvert Advantage. It dives into the differences between introverts and extroverts, their strengths and weaknesses, and gives advice on how to handle relationships between the two. My library has it so I expect others will.

Liz45 09-23-2012 10:00 AM

ROFL..I was thinking belly buttons, too. haha

We have for years, except when we were first married, always done things separately, except for drinking. It's the one thing we have in common. We kind of live separately in the same house. But it's not a bad thing. We love each other and are just comfortable having each other around. We talk to each other here and there throughout each day, but all the while I'm doing my thing and he's doing his. I hope since we are both quitting with the drinking that that might change. It would be nice to maybe fill some of our weekend "drinking" time by maybe going out on a "date" once in a while. Such as yesterday, getting out and doing some thrift shopping. That's something we haven't done in a long time and I really enjoyed it! :)

Great question!

RevivingOphelia 09-23-2012 10:05 AM

--deffo innie--

Weasel1966 09-23-2012 10:11 AM

Wow! The innies are in the lead! Lol

Outtie anyone?

Caledonia1 09-23-2012 10:15 AM

bit of both :)

pooky 09-23-2012 10:18 AM

Outtie all the way

SlimSlim 09-23-2012 10:27 AM

Introvert, without a doubt.

aeo1313 09-23-2012 10:51 AM

Innie- but I think most people that know me would say outie, bc I do enjoy social situations and being with people, but I gain strength from inside myself and need lots of quiet, me time to feel good. Growing up I always wanted to be an extrovert and I felt bad about myself because I wasn't. I felt something was wrong with me. I have since learned that I am ok either way. It does not define me as a person.

Great question!!

Stride34 09-23-2012 10:57 AM

Innie, because I find time relaxing by myself to be restful and invigorating. I enjoy socializing and doing things to some degree but after a bit it drains my energy and I want time to myself., for most people it's probably the opposite

RobbyRobot 09-23-2012 11:17 AM

Totally a lifelong innie, and proud to be so, hahaha!!

I don't think either, innie or outtie, has a unique superior advantage to leverage within sobriety, imo. Both are equal opportunities to get it done right.

Awesome question...

:a122:

Etta 09-23-2012 11:38 AM

Introvert. Are you familiary with myers-briggs? It's a test that measures four different "preferences" of personality, including introversion/extraversion.

It is not a test that states that one type is better than another, it just measures how a person prefers to operate in the world.

Itchy 09-23-2012 11:40 AM

Balanced, I am equally at home and skilled at public/social situations being a paid speaker an entertainer, as well as the reading research and writing, also professionally. I need my alone thinking time every day. In public I have never met a stranger.

Mizzuno 09-23-2012 11:50 AM

I am a introvert with my own time. My job is very social, so I feel like I need the down time when I am off. My partner is a introvert also. So far so good.

Hexipuff 09-23-2012 12:19 PM

Innie.

Naturally an innie. Started using alcohol to be an outie, be someone I wasn't, one of the my lies to myself and others

Happily sober now and enjoying my own company and that of a few close friends and my prince of a husband.
Having said that I enjoy my AA meetings and enjoy sharing there - bit of a closet outie at AA - maybe because I feel relaxed and at ease there and on here too

Thanks for this thread - it has made me think

jennikate 09-23-2012 12:38 PM

I guess mostly outie. I am pretty comfortable with social situations and have always had professions/volunteer positions which revolve around people. However, I am an only child and think that I do need some quiet time to recharge now and then.

Sapling 09-23-2012 12:57 PM

I isolated my last two years of drinking...That terrified me. I think that's why I instantly connected with AA...Being around people...Especially people just like me.


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