Horrible drunken cow!
 

I am almost 30 and have decided I need to quit drinking. It doesn't suit me. I have drunk driven dangerously, am blacking out, am obnoxious arguing with my boyfriend.. put myself in dangerous positions..

.. plus I have put a couple of stone on in weight!

I quit drinking Thursday night! Well, I was drunk Thursday night.. but have spent Friday and Saturday sober!

I am determined to stay sober now.

I wouldn't like to say I am an alcoholic, but then I am probably kidding myself! Everyone around me drinks, which makes it harder.. people say drink in moderation.. but I can't. I drink, and drink.. and drink! Once I have started I just can't stop.

So, here I am.

Tired out, I always stop drinking and am exhausted.... plus crave sugar so bad to replace the Wine/Beer!

It takes a few weeks to feel better and determination.. but it's so tempting to drink again when it's everywhere!

Welcome to SR Sugarfix :)

It certainly seems like alcohol is everywhere when you first quit. That was my overwhelming impression too. I had built a life for myself around alcohol... I have a lot of big drinking friends and colleagues and my family were always big drinkers. But when I quit and 'came out' to my family, suddenly they all quit or seriously cut back too! And when I went to see some old friends they really wanted to drink but didn't because I wasn't. I started to realise that they all used me as an excuse to drink as much as I used them.

That said though, it is really tough to be around it early on so could you minimise you contact with alcohol...? I found it best for me to stop going out for a bit until I was more comfortable sober, and also, I was exhausted too so having a bit of down time to recover is probably the best plan.

Have you looked into getting support too? It helps to have other people around who know what you're going through.

Glad you're here x

Welcome sugarfix! Glad you had sober day today, keep it up!

Thank you :)

If I say I am not drinking, my friends ask me if I have banged my head! My housemates offer me beer... I usually cave in! I will be living alone again very soon and so there wont be any alcohol in the house, but my housemate is an alcoholic too (though he doesnt think he is!)...

.. I wont be going out anywhere now until Christmas that serves alcohol and will be avoiding it as much as possible. Summer is always a tough one because everyone lives in the pretty beer gardens! But summer is over now.. and just Christmas to get through!

I despise the drinking, hate myself for doing it and wake up every day feeling guilt and shame for doing it!

It's easy to just pick up another drink and say 'I'm not a real alcholic, it's fine. I can drink this and none the next day' - but it doesn;t work like that at all!

Time to stop kidding myself :)

Dear Sugarfix,

you sound as though you know exactly what you want and what to do :> Brilliant.

As for sugar cravings instead of sweets etc, try mangos and dates as they are full of natural sugars with lots of great vitamins too.

Look forward to seeing your progress.

I am taking lots of food supplements and trying to eat sandwiches instead :D

I am going to check in here daily and read positive stories to help me :)

I have never had any willpower!

Haha, no it doesn't does it!

I've had a few people giving me a hard time for quitting but the longer I ignore them the easier it gets :) Now it barely bothers me. And I did have to practice saying 'no thank you' whenever I knew I would be in a situation where someone would offer me a drink... it's so hard to get out of the habit of saying 'yes please'! That might sound silly but people do slip because they don't know what to say when someone offers them a drink (No, thankyou, no thankyou...) x

I'd highly recommend joining the 'Class of September' thread here :) x

Welcome to SR Sugarfix....First of all...Take it easy on yourself....We aren't bad people....We are good people with a bad problem...A problem that is progressive so the sooner you get a handle on it the better. I use the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous and I've gone from a hopless drunk to almost 15 months without a drink. It asks two yes or no questions in the big book that I had to look in the mirror and honestly answer....

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

Can I stop drinking on my own?....entirely meaning completely.
Or
Once I start....Can I control the amount I drink?

Notice the word probably....I had to honestly answer that question to that person in the mirror myself....I am an alcoholic....Right now a recovered alcoholic. Try something different....Go to an AA meeting and see if you relate to it....Try a couple. The first one I went to I knew I was home. You can read the Big book and listen to some audio tapes on this site....You never know...It could be the answer for you.

Welcome to Silkworth.net -Alcoholics Anonymous . . . experience the history . . . lest we forget!

Welcome to the family! :hug: You've come to a great place for support from people who understand.:)

It's definitely easier to say 'oh go on then, just the one then' instead of 'no thanks' but it's doing that, that makes it all start over again!

I honestly think that everyone I know who drinks alot is an alcoholic! The evening Wine drinkers think they are more civilised than the beer and shot drinkers though haha! (in my circle anyway, am not denigrating Wine drinkers sober or not) 'I only drink Wine at night to relax' - yeah, didn't we all :D

Where will I find that thread? :)

Well done you! 15 months is a long time! I only managed that length of time when pregnant! Think my longest is a year.

I binge drink for months then quit, then back on it. Then quit again. That doesn't make mean I have any less of a drink problem than anyone else though.. it just means I have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol! :/

I might think about an AA meeting, have joked about it in the past.. but it's close to what I think I need right now!

I used to joke about it too.....Not any more....Saved my fricken life....You can meet some great people there too....People just like you. Welcome to the site...Glad you are here.

I thihnk all heavy drinkers joke about it.. though have always thought in my head.. that sounds like a good idea!

Is it all religious though?

I'm not religious at all...Spritual yes...I believe I'm not the center of the universe....And I know what I don't know and I admit it. LOL

Take a look at this site...It will answer all your questions about going to a meeting....It sure can't hurt you sugarfix....Just watch out for the free donuts and coffee.

Your First AA Meeting<

I am spiritual also, just not religious. I believe there are higher powers than us, just can't explain my views on a God or praying to a God.. if that makes sense!

Thank you. I will look at that.

I owe it to my children to remain sober. And with two alcoholic parents.. (mine, not theirs) .. I should know better!

Damn! Donuts and coffee... they might keep me going back :D

That's all you need...It's a God of your understanding and everyone's is different....You just need an open mind....All it takes to be a member is a desire to stop drinking....That's it.

Welcome to SR! After nearly 30 years of drinking, I'd finally had enough. Quitting was the best thing I ever did. By all means, check out AA; there's also lots of other options out there these days. The bottom line is we can and do recover. I wish you well.

Welcome to the site, I am glad you are here :)

The particular bit I have quoted, interested me. It worries me how people don't take alcohol seriously, people think if you're not drinking on a night out there is something wrong with you. I don't know how it is in America for the American posters on here but in the UK I would say there is a massive problem with alcohol and the crux of it is because the idea that it should be the centre and/or the main reason of social activity has been engrained into people's mindsets, in my opinion. There needs to be a complete attitude change here, many people could save themselves a load of trouble if we just treated alcohol with more respect and didn't act like it is safe because it is legal. People forget that's it's a hard drug. Again this is just my opinion.

Sorry for the rant :(

Good luck in staying sober, many of us in similar positions on this board.

It is definitely not being taken seriously enough. I have quite a few friends, and alot of acquaintances.. and every day on Facebook you see the hangover status'.. the 'never drinking again' status... the 'yay its Friday, time to get wrecked' status'. The mindset seems to be... the weekend is for getting drunk.

Lots of people are battling with alcoholism but don't even realise it.

People drink from boredom. You go for a meal, you drink. You go the pub, to drink. You go to parties, BBQ's , charity events, football events, everything has alcohol! Even the churches dish out Wine :D (am joking)

And I saw the funniest picture on facebook this morning.... was a lad who was holding a beer but naked from the waist down, and his friend was holding his penis!!!! It was tiny and there were 40 comments on how tiny it was, how it must be cold.... lots of comments laughing!! That lad will have sobered up this morning and been absolutely mortified!!

Also, people drink every night and say it's to 'relax' - this is justified to them. But you don't need alcohol to relax.

In my opinion, my body starts to crave alcohol around the same time every night because that is what time I have got used to having a drink... which is what keeps me drinking.

I feel anxious at the moment, though I have just had a cigarette whilst wearing a nicotine patch (doh!).. so am going to have a bath and keep telling myself it will all be better tomorrow.. I tell myself this every day!

The UK needs to wise up and adopt a more sensible attitude to drinking before it's way too late. No wonder they call it Boozy Britain!

Sugarfix, I decided that I needed to control my drinking too. I did control it, perfectly and absolutely. I never have one, not a sip, not a taste. Nothing. I came to the point where I shut the door, I took it off the table, realized that I can never have another drink. Never.

You can choose to do this too. 'But just one, there's no harm, I deserve it, I could really use a drink now, I don't really have a problem, I don't want to insult my host or friends, I can control my drinking and moderate it'. Blah blah blah blah. Recognize these thoughts for what they are - your addiction urge trying to get you to drink. The urge only has the power that you choose to give it through your conscious choice. You aren't sleepwalking after all when you pick up that glass.

You can choose to stop drinking, and stop drinking. You really can. Keep posting here, Sugarfix. There is a lot of support for you here.

Yep, I know exactly what you're talking about on Facebook. Then you just get lots of people egging them on and calling them a legend. It's so depressing.

Welcome Sugar!
I liked your comments about wine drinkers thinking they are more civilized. I fooled myself that way....with lovely goblets and lighting candles.....a hang over is a hangover!!!! Stopped completely 12 weeks ago.....NEVER going back!

I've not been in the UK before, although, it tops my list for travel. It does seem to have a strong drinking culture......I think the US does too. Wine is EVERYWHERE!!!

Anyway.....welcome! I'll look for your posts and be sending you positive energy:)

i can so relate to your story. Its hard when others drink around you and that we can't stop after one i am in that boat. what really helped me was getting on antabuse its not a cure all but it is a step in the right direction for some of us. I will take one if i know i will be around a lot people who drink you don't have a choice you can't drink. It really helps break that cycle. I wish you luck

I am also guilty of this!! Not egging them on, but of writing similar status'. Not anymore! I have also lost count of the times I have tried to do 30 days alcohol free.

I have a problem. I know it. And I need to overcome it :)

Yes! Nice candles, cosy evenings in, Wine and a movie, Wine and dinner.. Wine and friends... and then just WINE!

A hangover is indeed a hangover, no matter what the drink of choice is. Similar to Cocaine addicts being disgusted at heroin addicts.. etc etc... we're all addicts at the end of the day. It's just a different choice of drug!

Funnily enough, in the Meditteranean countries.. they have lots of Wine but not so many alcoholics?! Britain is freezing and alchol is expensive (definitely since our last government budget anyways! Used to be able to get 3 bottles of Wine for £10! Not anymore! Alcohol shot right up in price)

Thanks for the welcome and well done on 12 weeks! I just weighed myself and my BMI has gone up in a month! Though I have been drinking lots of cans of beer since my friend moved in about 6 weeks ago!

I know exactly what you mean. There is no moderation for me and really never has been. I know what I want to feel (or NOT feel as the case may be) and 1-3 drinks (or even 4 or 5) is not going to do the trick.

Also, one of the scarier things for me that made me question my relationship to alcohol was both the increasing amounts that I needed to achieve the buzz I wanted AND the increasing frequency of blackouts. Also, I cannot take the racing heart-through the roof anxiety that I feel the next day.

I am 42 and wish I would have questioned my drinking habits sooner. That's awesome that you have chosen the sobriety route, and I wish you all the best in sticking to it!

I always wondered about this--is it true and, if so, WHY is this the case over there?

The blackouts have been freaking me out for quite some time! How can you not remember several hours?! And when I am told what I have done I am shocked! Completely out of character!

The anxiety the next day for me is horrific, the racing heart, the racing thoughts, the nervousness.. the horrible 'dooom' you get! Hell on earth!

Well it doesn't matter what age we get there, its that we do that counts !

Yeah there was a chart done somewhere about the alcoholic countries. Will try and find it!

They start drinking young and respect it, lots of meal time drinking... and lots of healthy good foods! They live longer too!

BBC NEWS | UK | Attitudes to alcohol in Europe

That gives a few of the EU countries. Spain seems absolutely fine!

I don't think this attitude is completely similar to Canada (especially for older folks). In Canada, after a certain age, it's a unseemly to get trashed and most are ashamed and do it in secret (after having a few with friends).

However, when I worked in Australia for a year--OMG--EVERYTHING was about drinking--no one had shame about it and the goal was to get plastered for everyone of all ages. I can't believe the difference in attitudes toward drinking b/w Canada and Australia. So many heavy drinkers (or alcoholics) that I worked with and, yeah, to NOT drink was the anomaly.

I usually drink alone, but I would phone people--ugh. An ex. A sister to vent about my resentments. Wake up and not remember. So effed up.

Yeah, I am ON anti-anxiety meds--don't think they were doing much help with the drinking to excess two to three times a week.

I'm actually trying acupuncture for fifteen sessions to help with anxiety. The doctor is also putting needles on places that help with addiction and detoxification (ears), so maybe that will help. I am glad I was completely honest with her, so she knows it is drinking and anxiety I am fighting.

Anyway, waking up today without a hangover is so good--always is. :)

Me too! And not remember! Ruined an amazing good relationship due to me being a drunken @rsehole :(

He got out early on and good on him !!

Camomile tea, meditation, breathing, distraction, walking even when you dont want to... all helps.

I dont take medicine for anxiety because I know its not disappearing due to the alcohol, and its only the alcohol that causes it!

My auntie got acupuncture done in her ear, she had a 'thing' put in her, she said smaller than a grain of rice and she did stop the alcohol for quite some time :)