I can't beat this demon
 

Hello SB. Okay so where do I start once again? First I was a member here and lost it all meaning job, internet etc..... About me once again I was sober for a month and a half 5 months ago and relapsed and my excuse was to feel happy. I felt so great without the drinking but on the other hand for example with my sons mother putting me through hell trying to tell me how to be a father I said okay lets drink this away. Which we all know it goes away for the moment you think but the next day it is back so I drink again. I don't live with his mother and I am a great dad. Hes doesn't see me drink. When he started Pre K I had said I would better myself for my son and I did which was 2 weeks ago I didn't drink. Well, she has been putting me through hell again. I call every morning that he goes which is 3 times per week and the teacher tells me that he wont listen, wants to be alone etc..... So I told the teacher when I called to let him know dad is upset and when he is at school the teacher is the boss. So when I went and picked him up she said he did great after she had said she spoke with me to my son. Next time she said he didn't want to be there because he don't have to so I spoke with him and he promised me he would do it for dad and when his mother drops him off in the morning it is the same situation. Well, to make a long story short the teacher told me that it is a good idea what I think I should do and that is I should try dropping him off. So I asked his mother if we can speak about the situation and she said she was going out and hes fine. That really blew my mind that she would rather go to dinner with friends than talk about our son. So there is more but I made it brief maybe you will understand. She treats me like my son does not need a dad and he will get use to it. So I said today I stop drinking once again and not to let her bother me like she does because I honestly feel she wants to see me go under worse. Today I am sober and that is what matters. Thank you for reading and all comments and advice will be much appreciated. I love my son so much and she wont allow me to be a dad and it hurts!

Welcome back clight....It sounds like a bad situation...Sorry you're going through that. But it's also a situation that drinking will only make worse....So your priority has to be fixing the drink problem first....What are you doing for you recovery?

welcome back :)
I agree - working on your drinking problem will help everything else clight :)

got any plans?

D

Hi Sapling
Thank you for the response. As of what I am doing as of now for the drinking is 1 day sober and came back to SB because it helped me so much and I was keeping sober when I checked in everyday at the time I feel like drinking. Just with this site I was 1 1/2 months sober. I went to detox but it helped until the five days were up then I started again. I tried AA and I am sorry it wasn't for me. This site and all the wonderful people is my savor and if I am here everyday it helped me and will help me once again. I just need internet which now I don't have to worry that I cant pay because I am living with my mother now till I get on my feet. Any suggestions are welcome.
Thanks

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around clight - if you're interested :)

here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited to AA):

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum too, if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, like SMART, Rational Recovery etc

D

Hi Dee74.
I do have plans which are being here when I feel like drinking, reading posts, exercising, keeping busy. And really think about my son, myself. Also, I made a list what makes me sad and what are things that make me happy. So I wrote them down so I can see them and I think this will be a help also.
Thanks for the reply.

welcome back. Glad you are here.

That's not good if you're using this site and you have no internet. I use the program of AA....So of course...I would recommend something that I know works....And that's fine if it's not for you....I'm just curious though....I always ask...How much of a chance did you give it?....One or two meetings?....Did you read the book? Talk to any people that had success with it?

Hi clight. I, too, am sorry for what you're going through. I want to repeat what the others said - that drinking just makes us more frustrated and unable to cope with problems. I believed it was the answer for me, and for many years I kept getting numb to deal with things. It only made my situation much harder -even impossible - to manage.

Glad you came back to talk about this. Please keep posting, and do try the other links Dee mentioned.

Offcourse you can beat this demon..

I'll bite...How did you do it and how long has it worked for you?

People can beat this demon, in a variety of different ways.
The proof is all around us.

Lets stay focused on helping the OP.

D

Do it for your son. I have one and trust me, he is worth it.

When I saw the title of this thread I thought the "demon" you were speaking of was alcohol, then I read the opening post and now I wonder if the "demon" you speak of is the mother of your child!

Can you "beat" the demon of alcohol? Probably not, BUT...it's not really alcohol you are fighting. You can walk away from it and let other people fight it if they care to, it's not your fight. What you want to beat is your own dependency on it. And that, for sure you can deal with.

I DO have experience with a spouse (now ex spouse) who wanted to see me go under, because it would have been very convenient for him if I were to disappear. But I had other plans for myself.

Get sober, stay sober and be an awesome dad. Her choices and priorities are hers, try not to get caught up in them or judge them. You stay busy being a great dad to your son. Being involved and encouraging. Let those teachers know they can call on you, and get involved in the positive things at his school and in his life as well. Don't just show up when there is a problem, but see if you can volunteer, make sure you never miss an opportunity to chaperone a field trip, or participate in an activity. THAT will be a huge impact on how your son feels about school and will help with how YOU feel as a parent.

I didn't want to be an "everytime I messed up my mom got involved" sort of parent. I wanted to be "everytime something neat was going on, my mom was involved" sort of parent. Associated with good times, hard times, dull times, great times. I wanted my kids to know I was their parent, no if's and's or but's about it.

Why do you think that AA isn't for you?

Find a program of recovery and work it like your life depends on it. You will be able to think more clearly when you are sober. That is priority and should be for YOU.

I'm not sure what SB is, I thought this site was Sober Recovery or SR...just saying.....

I wish you a beautiful sober journey!

To be honest not much of a chance at all. I went a few times and in my mind I said this is not for me not because I think anything bad of AA. I don't think they would have it if there is something bad about it and I heard all good about it. I guess I didn't want to give it a chance. Maybe I will give it a chance when I am out of this cloud in a week. Its day 2 and I feel like just staying in bed. =(

Thanks for the response! Sorry I did mean SR not SB. I must of been thinking SOBER at the time I was typing.

A structured program is what you need clight, if not AA, then look at AVRT, or maybe Smart Recovery, all of our problems are only made worse by drinking.

silly. everyone knows you don't start feeling better until Day Three (the Brain Fog may take a little longer). By all means, stay in bed today.