Can limiting bring more success???
 

Ehhh I have bounced back and forth with going from all to nothing. I have had success and quit for a awhile and then done the typical "I can drink" and it starts out fine and then escalates to out of control and the cycle starts again. This time I am really thinking about trying to sincerely cut down...maybe just allowed one or two days a week and/or just no more than 3 drinks. Is this possible for anyone here - I know most will say no but I am looking for some sort of happy medium...is it out there. And maybe I will have more success with maintenance if I just cut it down and not out completely....ehhhh.....

Wouldn't\didn't work for me.
There always has been too many 'compulsion to drink' moments scattered throughout my day and if the first one hits my lips... it all over. Possibly working on what 'triggers' you to drink and trying to control that?
The only way I've gotten the compulsion under control has been long term sobriety.

If you're like me you've tried to cut down already Copperfield - probably a few times, yeah?

I couldn't get it for years - some times I'd be 'ok', and sometimes my life would be a drunken shambles of chaos...what I didn't realise is I was never in control...it was just down to luck what happened - I was shooting craps, but with my health and well being.

If alcohol is causing you problems, and keeps on causing you problems, I think the sensible thing to do is cut it out of your life.

D

I like what Dee said :)

No, most of us can't control our intake. My question would be: do you think you need it in your life at all? If so, why?

If you have to ask...

I am working on it, when I figure it out I let you know. My train of thought right now is: The drink is not important, the drink is not necessary, if I have it I have it, if I don't it doesn't matter. I want to be able to drink very few times and not make it a habit of everything. I have a friend who used to binge, no longer binges and drinks very rear times, and not that much. My hypothesis is: that it is possible to moderate if you change your mindset, feelings, attachments, associations we have to alcohol.

I presume you've tried that before tho Meso?

No matter how good my intentions, alcohol changes me, and my good intentions get forgotten.

I've heard of people not drinking for 20 or 30 years and they return to drinking and the same stuff happens again.

I've been here 5 years Copperfield, and tried for 20 years myself to control my drinking...

I haven't seen a 'going back to moderation' success story here yet...make of that what you will, gang...
.
D

The stratergy of moderation worked ok for a month of so for me i even had a patch of 9 months about 10 years ago where i had one or two a week or a fourtnight and a sober life otherwise.

In the end though i went back to drinking the sameold, sameold and more , my habbit got progresively worse . My only real way of dealing with it has been complete abstinance and learning how to deal with lifes ups, downs and nothings without resorting to drinking . Its a big relief not to put myself through all those hastles just for some alcohol .

Good luck , bestwishes, M

Can't say I have that is why I pointed out I am working on it. I have seen people successfully moderate after being terrible binge drinkers, just pointing it out that it is possible.... on the other hand not everyone can do it, but possible yes.

Yeah.. I have tried that whole "I will only have a few only a few days a week..." deal myself quite a few times too..it never worked.. I ALWAYS spiraled completely out of control.. it is just the nature of our illness ya know.. if we could control it, we wouldn't be on this forum.. my advice would be not to keep risking the set back..

I never was able to moderate for more than a few months. It seems from your post you are like the rest of us that cannot moderate. I have been sober almost 4 months now and am fighting the thought that I can now moderate. I know I have never been able to in the past, why would this time be different. Each time I started to drink again it got worse. I do not want to lose everything I have worked so hard for, so I move forward, sober. Do not be fooled by the idea of moderation. If we could have done it, we would have already.
Good luck copperfield.

I've also been thinking about moderation, the reason I'm thinking about is that every day I get back from work and fancy a drink. My brain keep telling me I could just have one or two then stop but if I am already thinking about this everyday what are my chances of success at moderation?

You have to figure out what works for you, for me I keep having to remind myself there are no benefits at all to my drinking so why would I want to, even if I could do it in moderation,

I hope you come to the right decision for you,

x

Yes, this. There's just no added value here, save the company of people that I don't really have much in common with to begin with. I can see that this equation looks different for some, especially younger people who have more friends outside of family. For me, even if I could moderate, there is just no compelling reason to go back to it at all. Why chance it?

If moderation were an option, we would have a moderation forum here full of moderation success stories.

That said, there is a program called Moderation Management for people who want to moderate, but not quit, drinking. It starts with 30 days of abstinence, which, coincidentally, is what the AA book tells us to try. If you can't get to 30 days you are likely an alcoholic.

How much of their story have you really "seen" though? There are many alcoholics who can appear to successfully moderate but behind closed doors it's totally different. Just something to think about.

If you are HERE, as I am, the problem is a true blue problem. I have proven over and over and over again I will not be a normal social drinker amd limit it within freaking reason. Years of this...years of being disgusted with myself at times. I have a good friend who is a non drinker, and on days like I had today, I SO want to be in control of my life. There is no way an alcoholic will control and drink one or two. If they have three...there ya go...

practice..
 

I'm lurking and reading a lot here as a way trying to get a plan to approach doing this. There's a big emphasis on learnt strategies to manage cravings and urges to drink. Which you obviously need to succeed.

For someone who drinks daily. Wouldn't drinking three nights a week leave four to practice the strategies, learning to surf the urge etc? Do it for a month or whatever then take the leap into abstinence with some practiced approaches?

I know tapering off isn't accepted and I can understand why at one level. I can hear the suggestions of denial and compromises being negotiated with 'the beast' etc. But I also wonder just how many of the people going straight between drinking and sober manage to make it last. And if this was a negotiated process with a therapist then maybe as an interim transitional phase it may have some value.

Any thoughts?

Moderation never worked for me. My biology got the better of me

....this is important, I'm not proposing moderation. None of this 300ml tonite, 250 tomorrow b.s. that I've been reading on here. I'm proposing a scenario where you learn to not at all for set days. Its entirely up to you if want to hospitalise yourself on the rest. But at least on the totally dry days you have to practice mindfulness, urge surfing whatever your choice is.

Look, its about acquiring certain skills to deal with your behaviour. If your trying to learn anything you have to practice, rehearse. Is this really so different?