In Bed With A Sinus Infection But Feel Guilty
 

Head hurts, tired, don't want to move. Sound familiar? I keep thinking hangover though its not. How do I let the past go? Non drunks have issues but I still tie my issues to drinking. Is recovery really recovering my self? Why do I beat myself up when I've already been there, done that. I think drinking was not so much about not feeling bad as it was an excuse as to why I felt bad. I don't know if this makes sense. Sobriety doesn't buy a free pass, it just buys sobriety. The rest is up to me. Dang.

Drinking becomes an excuse or something to do for everything. I drank to celebrate, I drank to commiserate, I drank because I felt good and I drank when I was sad. Absolutely everything that happened in my life, I turned to booze and/or drugs. You could say that my booze was my Higher Power.

I like my new Higher Power much better. He's not so fickle.

All that being said - as Freud would have said - sometimes a sinus infection .... is just a sinus infection

Get better soon

Give it a little time Fitz...
I think one of the keys to getting over the past is to have a good present to work with, and an even better future to hope for...and seems to me you've been working on that.

The pay off is coming - keep at it :)

D