So ... I failed ...
 

Four months sober and I caved. I just can't live with my alcoholic husband. It's too hard to live with someone who is still drinking. He hates my being sober, and I can't live with him when I'm sober .... his drinking is repulsive to me. I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow ... looking for help with this ... and I'm probably going to have to kick my husband out of the house. He doesn't like me sober and he doesn't like me drunk either ... it works both ways. He has been a liar and a cheater for the last few months ... I knew my being sober was threatening to him and he did what I figured he'd do. I'm just lost right now. But I think I know what I need to do. Thank you for listening.

I am so very sorry to hear of your troubles, Desertsong. I hope your talk with a professional tomorrow will help turn you towards the direction you need to go. I wish you the best. There will always be support here for you from your SR friends.

I'm sorry to hear this to DS...but you're still here and you're still working on solutions. I can't really see that as a failure :)

I wish you strength and courage for the immediate future and the decisions and situations you have to face too.

D

I made sobriety my #1 priority. I think that's the ticket. Hugs to you dear.:grouphug:

i'm so sorry to hear that, DS. talking to your doctor is a good idea. you need to do what is right for you and your sobriety. you are here and that is good. you are working hard and trying to figure out what to do in a difficult situation and that is good too. don't give up. we care about you.

DS,
That is tough, trust me I know how you feel. You need to take care of yourself. I am taking my AW into counseling starting next week. If she backs out I may have to make some hardball decisions because I deserve a happy life. You don't deserve less either. It is tough but I went to counseling before drinking or other hasty decisions. All you need to do is pick yourself up, dust off yer britches, and start again.

Life won't get better for us kiddo. We will get better at life.

I'm so sorry DS.
Very happy to see you right back here posting. After I got sober I came to a point that I had to start treating myself as if I was someone I loved. I think your on the right path with seeing a professional.
Keep posting
:hug:

I'm thinking of you lots. This happened to me a few months ago. It is a desperately difficult struggle to maintain sobriety when living with a drinker. I had some serious decisions to make and so do you.
You are still here, still committed to healing yourself. We are all behind you.
Sending you a huge hug and wishing you the strength to push through this.
Lots of love xxx

You did not fail. stumbled, not failed.

Exactly that desert. I am so sorry to hear about how it happened. But make sure you do what you have to for you. And it sounds like you knew that it would break two up, but then thats the sun on the other side of the mountain. But sadly you have to climb that mountain now to get there.

But remember we are here to help guide and hold those ropes as you climb it.

Prayers sent your way,

Good love, Inda

Failed? Hardly—we all know what true failure means when it comes to this stuff. Forget the fall; it's the rebound that counts. Glad you're looking after yourself, DS. :)

Wow, given what your going through I don't think you've failed. Your strength, determination, and perseverance is admirable.

Your just to strong to stay down desertsong. You have put out an honest effort to stay sober and save your marriage. You'll do the right thing for you and your boys. You are FANTASTIC. :egypt:

I am sorry to hear that ds.

No, you didn't. That's not failure. Quite the opposite: you're learning more about yourself and establishing your own boundaries.

Hi DS,

Sorry to hear of your situation. You've had to be strong, and I'm sure that strength will continue to grow.

You are both in my prayers.

You may have fallen down a moment but thats no reason to stay down .

You deserve to wake up sober and go to sleep in comfort and peace .

You're stonger than you know, things do get better, stay strong in the trauma of change this is a long and rewarding journey not a sprint .

M

You live, you learn. I think that you know already what is best for you! I am sure you must know by know. You can make it cause you want to.

:You_Rock_

Hi Desertsong,
Sounds like you need a break from each other. if it is possible for your husband to find alternate accommodation would be for the best I think.
I couldn't deal with an abusive relationship if I was trying to get sober, no way and why would I?
Look after yourself and your sobriety the rest will follow.
Love
CaiHong

I am sorry you are experiencing pain right now. I would like to echo all of the great words that have come before this post. Just so glad you are still with us.

Yes, it is incredibly hard when there are not supports, but rather detriments in your home life. Rely on this "home" and the consultations with your doctor right along now.

We are all rooting for you, and want you to be sober and happy. Again, hang in there, and know that today is a new day. You deserve to be happy, and treated with respect. I am wishing you well. Hugs friend.

You and me both DS :(

I don't know one single person who doesn't drink!

I've just thrown stuff into my recycling bin... clink, clank, clink, clank... it's as if I was still drinking.

In an awful way, its easier for me because I don't have an option to drink as my liver is damaged. Doesn't make it nice though.

I was talking to my sister yesterday, she cheerfully said that she was drinking wine because its the school holidays, yay, celebration (?)... I gently reminded her that we were both from the same gene pool... she said, oh no no no, I'd never be like you etc etc, yes, ok, fine, but in the last year, there has not ben a single occasion that I have visited and the beer hasn't been flowing (so many sports matches to watch blah blah) I even noticed a new fridge that is 'just for alcohol'... This I have not questioned because the answer will be they have SO many friends and their house is SO busy with people.

What I'm kind of trying to say... just think of number one. Do what is best for you.

Actually, I'm just looking at my little dog :) she doesn't drink! :)

You are doing great despite your present situation. When I relasped I had to figure out why I did and you are doing the exact same thing and this is good..You dont deserve to be treated badly you deserve to be surrounded by people who support you. If you ever need to talk I am here. You are in my prayers.

DS you are on a tough gig. I admire what you achieved against the odds. Give it another go

Desertsong, I'm sorry that you are going through this. But, it's good that you've reached a point where you know you need to make changes. :)

DS,

You are still an inspiration to me.

I do think removing yourself from your husband for awhile may help you regain some emotional strength and sobriety. I know I could never stop drinking if I was around someone who was not sober. That, combined with the cheating and lying, would make me take a real long break away to see what the best path would be for ME.


I hope you do what will make YOU happy, sober and healthy.

You have done great and can do it again :)

desertsong,

I don't know how you did it for four months being around someone who drinks. You are amazing! It sounds like you have reached another plateau in your recovery, and another important realization, and are going about the steps to make the changes you need to make to start really living. Good for you :) You are impressive indeed. Please keep us updated.

ds, when I am very upset I tend to make decisions based on fear and revenge... many of which I regret soon down the line.

Talk to your sober friends and take advice from them. My sponsor saved my bacon more times than I can count.
Things are seldom as bad as I see them on a bad day... nor as good as I see them on a good day.

Prayers for truth, sanity and acceptance to you.

All the best.

Bob R

(((hugs)))

Desertsong,

You've got 4 months of sobriety under your belt and that is worth "more" than it's weight in gold...tap into that DS...I think you know what you need to do

Big hugs to you