My Twisted Road to Recovery
 

Hello everyone! I'm very happy I've found this forum! I hope everyone can welcome me with open arms and support me through my recovery!

As a background, about 3 years ago I took my first perc 10 and I was hooked ever since. 10s quickly grew to 30s. Most recently I've been taking 3-4 30s a day. In that 3 year period I was able to graduate from a top university and land a good job. Compared to my sober friends I was more successful so in my eyes what was the harm? Well I was blind to the fact that I was mentally and physically addicted to opiods. I've attempted to quit using suboxone but it never lasted long and I always relapsed.

Today I'm proud to say I'm 5 days clean, cold turkey! My wd experience hasn't been pleasant but not horrible. Days 1-4 I was sneezing, sniffling, cold sweats and the *****. Luckily Imodium has helped me through work without running to the bathroom 9 times a day. Today I still have been sneezing along with my runny nose but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So now that I'm through most of my physical wd I'm scared as hell psycologically. The devil has been sitting on my shoulder tempting me 3-4 times a day. Everyone always says getting clean is easy but staying clean is the hard part.

Financially I cannot keep doing opiods. I have put myself in debt and I'm constantly broke. Luckily my addiction has not negatively effected my relationships with my family. I pray that I'm strong enough to beat this horrible disease and hope you can offer any support!

Thank you all very much for reading my story!

Maybe I posted in the wrong section.

Welcome PhilsFan!

You posted in the right spot - don't worry! Glad you've decided to join us - congratulations on your 5 days, too! I understand that opiod withdrawal is really tough - but a lot of people get through it and are so glad they did!

There's something that feels really good about getting through another day sober. The mental part is the hardest and that takes some time, but it get better and easier........ I hung out here a LOT in the first days/weeks (well, I still do!).

Keep reading and posting!:wave:

P.S. Check out the substance abuse section of the forum, too - You'll get lots of support there as well:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome Philfan! Congrats on 5 days!! That's a solid start. You've got to want sobriety.. and if you do.. you've got it.

best to you!

Welcome and congrats on 5-days. You'll find alot of support and people who can relate. Stay strong.

"Compared to my sober friends I was more successful so in my eyes what was the harm?"

"Financially I cannot keep doing opiods. I have put myself in debt and I'm constantly broke."

Yeah.... I know the feeling.


I couldn't do this alone so I suggest NA/AA meetings.

Some here say they do it alone and if you are one of those go for it !!

If you are an alcoholic/addict of my sort you will soon find that a 12 Step program is the solution to your problem.

All the best.

Bob R

The monkey can be pretty patient. My problem was not pills- but I assume the principles of AVRT (addictive voice recognition training) are applicable.

Fear is our biggest enemy. The sober life is good- but you do have to work it, and deal with the monkey (but over time he will quieten down).

Opioid addiction is interesting because the body can adapt to greater and greater amounts, apparently without limit. You mentioned a daily intake of 120 mg of oxycodone. I know someone who worked up to 1600mg daily, what a special kind of hell that entailed.

The terror that we all felt facing a future without our drug of choice can be viewed simply as the terror our addiction feels being deprived of its buzz. To that I say, bring it. You are in charge of your drug intake, and capable of staying straight for good. Congratulations on that commitment to yourself and your future life free of this miserable stuff. Well done.

You know why everyone says that...Because they are right. Alcohol was my poison and I got sober with AA...Just got a year. I needed support from people that had done it...It's there...Why not use it? You should check out an an NA meeting...Talk with some recovered addicts. This site is great for support also...Glad to have you here.

Welcome to the family, PhilsFan. Congratulations on your five days clean! You'll never regret reclaiming your life and getting free. We're glad you're here.

Wow this is overwhelming! I cannt believe the amount of support that has been offered! I want to respond to each of you individually but these last two days my work schedule has been very hectic. Thank you all very much for this support, it's greatly appreciated.

Today is the beginning of day 6!! I'm still dealing with the running nose and sneezing but I can feel that it's coming to an end.

I have to be honest with everyone, I'm scared about getting paid on Tuesday. Every payday for the last 6 months I've ran and picked up and I know the devil is going to be tempting my ass all day/week/month long. When I think like this I begin to question if Ill be strong enough to calm the urge inside of me begging for the DoC.

Welcome and good for you for getting through to Day 6!

You can do this and we are here for you. If payday is a trigger, then make a plan. Promise yourself a nice dinner out or something special that you've been wanting to have, instead of spending the money on pills. Treat yourself and be proud of your decision to live a sober life. :)

You seem pretty motivated to stop, PhilsFan. So, make a plan for payday. Look up 'urge surfing' - those ideas helped me to quiet that panic feeling and to calm the urge.

I believe that you can do this - you just need to put the right tools together. Stay with us.

welcome to SR PhilsFan :)

D

Hello again everyone! Well my last attempt to quit went horrible once payday came. Today I'm proud I say I'm 8 days clean! I feel a lot better today except for the slight sneezing, stuffy nose and *****. Although this is minor compared to the last 3 days! Anyway, I'm set to get paid tomorrow and I have made plan to help me including giving my mom my money so I cannot be tempted to use. I feel good about this time around. I simply won't to be clean!

Welcome back!

I just wanted to offer some support as I recently (4 weeks?) Came off oxycodone. They were prescribed for back pain post surgery but I was abusing them. Had multiple false starts with quitting though partly on account of my 'legitimate 'pain.

Yesterday I was driving and thought of something funny I had read/seen earlier and I laughed out loud at the memory. It's a little thing but I heard my laugh and wondered how long it had been since that had happened? All my driving moments were consumed with pill thoughts in recent months. Feeling high but not belly-laughing happy. (This was what I was thinking of btw) :)

Have a great day 8!

Good Plan
 

8 days is a MAJOR victory! Try to focus on how much better you feel today. That feeling will increase each day and you will be amazed at how much better you will feel as time goes by.

If you have a bank account, you could have your check direct deposited and that might help reduce the temptation. You might also consider using a debit/credit card for everyday purchases to keep your $ in the bank. If you dont have cash in your pocket, you cant buy drugs.

As a bonus, if you get a card that earns airline miles, you could take a vacation at some point..... how about 1 yr clean?

Best Wishes

Stay with us and keep posting.

I'm scared honestly..I'm already thinking that I'll have a ton of cash an I'm being tempted to pickup some 30s an I haven't even been paid yet. PAWS sucks!

Don't quit 5 minutes before a miracle! What fun thing can you plan?