Pub and pop.
 

I'm venturing out to the pub tonight, to watch a rock type band. Never been in without having a beer, and don't have a clue what to drink. Hope temptation doesn't get the better of me.

try a virgin rum and coke

I don't think I would trust myself to go out to a pub at this point, but that's just me. If I did go out to a pub, I'd probably order a virgin Mary with lots of hot sauce.

Why on earth would you put your sobriety at risk like that ??!!

Best of luck .......

Bob

It's to see if I can accomplish it or not. Part of my goals, to find out how strong or weak I can be.

How many days sober are you Nigel...? I had to go to the pub quite a few times early on but I would have avoided it by choice. There is no shame in that. The fact that you 'hope' that temptation doesn't get the better of you doesn't suggest that you are strong in your recovery yet so why are you testing yourself now? Personally I found such occasions uncomfortable but now I'm enjoying going out without drinking. In the early days I was content enough curled up at home. That doesn't mean to say the same will be true for you but don't put yourself in a situation where you might 'accidentally' end up ordering beer just because you don't know what else to drink. That said, good luck! x

hang out at the barbershop long enough and yer gonna get a haircut.

I'm only a week into my new sober life, I just need to do it. I'm not on any program or getting help, its my own way of coping.

Coping? Or setting yourself up to drink?

Oh nigel your plan does not sound a good one to me.

My own way of coping got me nowhere except drunk and I tried it for many years.

Congratulations on your week of sobriety.

I drink mineral water these days when out,sometimes I push the boat out and have a slice of lemon in it.

I wish you well.

I heard this in my meeting this morning....Maybe it was for you.

If you're going to dance with a bear....The bear is always going to lead.

Good luck bro!

My experience with it in early sobriety, however, is that I can go once or twice ... maybe even three times without drinking but eventually, when I least expect it, it grabs me and bounces my head off the bar, kicks me in the stomach, tears my heart out, and spits in my face.

I would certainly never go without another sober alcoholic. And I would have to be very solid in my program, which at 33 days I am not even close.

That is MY experience.

Nonetheless, do what you need to do and I hope you succeed!!!!

I'd have to duct (or as we call it in Oregon, duck) tape my mouth and nose shut and tie my hands behind my back. Well, probably my feet, too. Testing my strength is one thing, but testing my weakness never worked for me.

Doesn't sound to me like you are ready for this if you're seeing it as a test. If you think there's a chance you could fail the test, don't take it.

welp, i think thats 10 outta 12 alcoholics recommend staying away.

You may be strong one day and weak the next...so why take the gamble if you're not sure?

Unbelievable.

I'm definitely not the voice of experience here, but.... do yourself a favor and don't go. That's a major risk.

Hoping isn't a plan. Hoping isn't solid. Unless you have a solid plan don't go. Is the music worth the risk? Are you setting yourself up for failure? Even if you go and don't drink are you going to come back from the experience happy you went or so distracted by the not drinking that you couldn't enjoy yourself? Early recovery is a good time to be introspective and isolate yourself from dangerous temptations. It doesn't mean that you'll never go to the pub again but it means that you won't go for a couple of months until you're grounded enough in sobriety that going to the pub isn't a miserable experience. Personally, i couldn't go to the grocery store alone (which i love doing) in early sobriety because i was too tempted to buy my vodka. It made it easier to break that habit for the long run by not tempting myself in early recovery. Just think about what you're doing to yourself. If you were on a diet would you go to a steak buffet with your friends and say "well, i'm just going to have the soup and salad." How miserable would that be? If it were me, i'd stay at home, read a little or engage myself in some other sober activity knowing that this is for the better for now and that i am building a strong base for my sobriety so i will eventually be strong enough to do what i want without fear of misery or relapse.

I'm just sayin'.

Here is what you posted three days ago.

Hi, I've decided enoughs enough after vomiting black tar like contents on a heavy drinking bout last Sat. Had a black out, loss of memory and fell down numerous times trying to get home. 2 broken ribs and no drink later, I'm shaking and feel scared.

Have a virgin daquiri. How about a non alocoholic beer?

Oh Nigel please don't do it.

Hi Nigel

There's a lot of good advice here :)

I really tried to live my old life - but just not drink.
I 'roadtested my sobriety' too - what I really was doing was putting myself in dangerous situations with no thought of how I was going to cope, or how I was going to stay sober.

I ended up two ways - drunk because I gave in and joined the gang...or miserable cos I didn't...which usually led to back to option number one anyway.

I think learning to live sober is like any other skill - it takes time to develop.

You don't start lifting your own body weight in weight training, or immediately running a marathon...

Believe me there will be a time ahead when you go anywhere and do anything - but that time is not now...you need to work out your priorities - how much do you want to stay sober?

You need more than hope in this situation, I think...

If you want to stay sober that means changes and a little thought effort & patience...but isn't your future worth that Nigel?

D

Drinks that reminded me of the drinks I used to drink, served to me in a pub full of me mates drinking the real thing, were always a really bad idea for me Sparky :dunno:

D

How aqbout not going and not having a drink that tastes like a "drink"?

I went for 3 hours and mission accomplished.. Was I tempted, you bet I was. Won't be doing it again in a hurry.

I hope you know how much we care about you.

I think it depends on whether you like sweet drinks or not. I don't like sweet drinks, so stick to mineral/soda water. Vast majority of people here will tell you not to go to the pub, but like not drinking, it's your choice. Decision, commitment, integrity, accountability, words like that bounce about my head. Good luck! Also see a doctor about the black tar vomit!

hey Nigel... really glad you didn't drink. I went to a ruby wedding party tonight, I've been to a couple of things e.g. pub quiz's, a karaoke night (I've avoided things with certain people) but tonight even though I didn't want a drink I did almost feel at the end of the night that I'm setting myself up to drink later (that's after nearly 3 month's sobriety, and I generally stay out of bars/parties). I could almost see that I'd slowly start to "allow" certain events back on a more regular basis, and that reflects what I'm like with alcohol.. it's a drip-feed effect, I don't tend to fall over immediately.

Think I need to take a step back and stay away from environments with booze for a bit. It crept up on me and it's only now I'm sat here that I realised after reading this thread.

So thanks for posting, and here's to us both being strong and staying away.

Congrats Nigel! I know i was a doom and gloomer but we have so many relapse threads here i just didn't want you to be posting one. Keep up the good work and take care of yourself.