Have a virgin daquiri. How about a non alocoholic beer?

Oh Nigel please don't do it.

Hi Nigel

There's a lot of good advice here :)

I really tried to live my old life - but just not drink.
I 'roadtested my sobriety' too - what I really was doing was putting myself in dangerous situations with no thought of how I was going to cope, or how I was going to stay sober.

I ended up two ways - drunk because I gave in and joined the gang...or miserable cos I didn't...which usually led to back to option number one anyway.

I think learning to live sober is like any other skill - it takes time to develop.

You don't start lifting your own body weight in weight training, or immediately running a marathon...

Believe me there will be a time ahead when you go anywhere and do anything - but that time is not now...you need to work out your priorities - how much do you want to stay sober?

You need more than hope in this situation, I think...

If you want to stay sober that means changes and a little thought effort & patience...but isn't your future worth that Nigel?

D

Drinks that reminded me of the drinks I used to drink, served to me in a pub full of me mates drinking the real thing, were always a really bad idea for me Sparky :dunno:

D

How aqbout not going and not having a drink that tastes like a "drink"?

I went for 3 hours and mission accomplished.. Was I tempted, you bet I was. Won't be doing it again in a hurry.

I hope you know how much we care about you.

I think it depends on whether you like sweet drinks or not. I don't like sweet drinks, so stick to mineral/soda water. Vast majority of people here will tell you not to go to the pub, but like not drinking, it's your choice. Decision, commitment, integrity, accountability, words like that bounce about my head. Good luck! Also see a doctor about the black tar vomit!

hey Nigel... really glad you didn't drink. I went to a ruby wedding party tonight, I've been to a couple of things e.g. pub quiz's, a karaoke night (I've avoided things with certain people) but tonight even though I didn't want a drink I did almost feel at the end of the night that I'm setting myself up to drink later (that's after nearly 3 month's sobriety, and I generally stay out of bars/parties). I could almost see that I'd slowly start to "allow" certain events back on a more regular basis, and that reflects what I'm like with alcohol.. it's a drip-feed effect, I don't tend to fall over immediately.

Think I need to take a step back and stay away from environments with booze for a bit. It crept up on me and it's only now I'm sat here that I realised after reading this thread.

So thanks for posting, and here's to us both being strong and staying away.

Congrats Nigel! I know i was a doom and gloomer but we have so many relapse threads here i just didn't want you to be posting one. Keep up the good work and take care of yourself.

thinking of you, nigel. i assume you posted because you wanted some feedback on this idea. looks like most people here (myself included) think it's not a great one. obviously, it's your choice, though i do think you should re-read some of your previous posts about how miserable you were feeling. i'd imagine just about anything would be better than feeling like that again.
at least give yourself a solid chance at sobriety, whatever you do. you're worth it.

(should have gone to the end of the thread before posting! haha)
anyhow, glad you are back:)

I went out for 3hrs, had good night. Witnessed for the first time, how idiotic people act when they're intoxicated. I thought I'd be more embarrassed drinking coke, but nobody was interested, and that made me feel mire at ease. Strangely enough, I felt more like a beer when I got home, felt like I acheived something I never thought possible. Now into 7 days without alcohol. So far, so good. Thanks for all your support and concern, much appreciated..

Nigel, I'm gonna word this in exactly the same way I had it given to me when I first joined this forum, so as a qualifier, this post will be blunt....

Good luck with your goal (quoted above), the next time you decide to test things out. I'm here to tell ya that at 7 days sober, going to a pub to "see if I can accomplish it" was a profoundly dumb thing to do. Don't know if anyone else has mentioned that yet because I haven't read the entire thread, but I really hope you're not just getting the "support at all cost" stuff, considering. Someone really should be concerned enough with your leaps of ill-logic to tell you what kind of a knucklehead move that was. So if no one has done that yet, here's me doing it.

Throwing yourself into negligible situations early in recovery is not just risky, it's irresponsible, and the exact opposite of what you need to be concentrating on with only 7 days of sobriety. It's what a few I know would call 'Obvious Fail #1'.

Tell me how you'd react if someone new posted this Nigel...

"Hey guys, I was attacked by a bear not long ago. He tore off my leg. BUT, I've been out of the hospital a few hours now and my crutches work fine. I think it's a great idea to go ahead and find that bear again to see how much I can poke it in the eye before it rears up and tears my other leg off. Any advice on finding the bear?"

Perspective is everything.

Again, sue me for being blunt, and you have my permission to go mental on this post and me with all sots of pejorative ranting against what you may consider an unnecessarily rude reply. But a spade will be a spade no matter how you try and rationalize your logic to me or anyone else here. You need to know that, under no uncertain terms, if you have a propensity for being bitten by sharks, it's a really, really BAD idea to sign up for surfing and scuba lessons ... for a while at least.

Just try and remember a few of us here have a bit of tenure with this whole drinking thing, and as such we are kinda hip to what works and what doesn't. And your approach as detailed in this thread? Like I said... good luck with that.

Here's the thing; when I was new here and acting all "I need to see if I can handle it", I had my a$$ handed to me. I wish those veterans were still posting now because they'd also be in this thread tearing you a new one - as they did me. Truth be told I'm damned glad I got a smack down back then. Saved my sobriety later down the road. You're dealing with something known to be extremely and profoundly cunning, baffling, and powerful. Pick your battles more wisely com-padre, or it won't be long before someone is picking you up off the floor, or tagging your toe. Do not underestimate the power of alcohol to absolutely destroy your very best laid and most well intended plans.

As another qualifier Nigel, I don't know your story nor how far along you are in the progression of your drinking problem. I wish I had time to read this thread and some more about you. Having said that, if you're even approaching the colossally bad spots that come in step with progressive boozing, it's like this: purposefully placing yourself in tempting situations is no test at all. It's just one more exercise in alcoholic insanity, and diametrically opposite of the right goals.

Sure you managed this time. This time. It only takes the devil asking you to dance a few times before you end up lacing up the shoes and discoing the night away.

an interesting thing I read in the SMART Handbook is 'urge exposure' -- after you get a bit of sobriety and urge-coping tools under your belt, it suggests exposing yourself to certain situations and cues that used to involve drinking or using. this pub experience is a great example. however it is strongly suggested that you go in with a certain amount of skills in your ability to cope with urges.

Thanks for your advice, but everyones different, there's no one right or wrong way to succeed. I needed to do this for myself, not anyone else, or anyone elses thoughts on staying sober. How many times have all different methods if recovery failed. There not one guarenteed to work. We aren't sheep, we all have our own mind thoughts. If I can go to the pub and not drink, to me that's a very positive step, no matter how early or late in the recovery process. I'm still dry and intend to stay that way, thanks.

Well done Nigel, I'm in same situation as you. I'm not long sober went two weeks then had a "slip". Too me it wasn't a slip i drank now im not going to drink. I went to pubs too and drinking situations and i can tell you i wouldn't even have thanked you for a drink. The other night was baffling though i did want to drink to lightn up but it just made me drunk. I can understandalot of posts here but i do think we are all different and can make up our own rules.
God bless

If you think you will drink then go to a movies and if not then order a club soda and lime. That way you don't have to think of people asking you why your not drinking.

The reason why I say go to the movies instead of staying home is that you will get depress or upset with yourself that you can't see a rock band and going to the movies will at least get you out doing something fun.

You are probably right. Bad advice on my part.

Nigel,
I highly recommend a recovery program. If your truly alcoholic white knuckle sobriety will only last so long.
Best of luck to you.