I can't stop
 

and I'm going to buy a gun.I refuse to keep putting my loved ones through this and I'm ruining my relationships with them.

Before you take that step you should exhaust all other paths to getting well available to you, which you have not yet done. Making this only a fool's error in judgement.

Are you that?

I made the same choice six months ago and I thank God everyday that I failed. Stop, step back and take a breath. Trust that you're not thinking clearly right now and look for help. It's out there.

Ziney... I don't know what to say...There will be other posts with with better advice than mine I am sure. I feel your pain. MS is a major hardship.

What I see in your posts is that you have loved ones. Hold onto that. You don't want to hurt them. Please set back and put things into perspective, and consider better options, because there are.

Take care of yourself.

Jim

Praying for you. Please give SR a chance. That is such a permanent decision...

dont, seriously, it is just a moment.... even though i know a moment can last a long time,, it still
DOES pass, I promise you that,,, just hold on and let other life dimensions take you through it...

:grouphug: We need you here Ziney. Please stay and chat awhile.

Ziney, please get help at an ER:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

I've been there Ziney, those feelings you are feeling will pass, it does get better after time. Like I said, I've been there on that dark path and after putting down the drink, my negative feelings and feelings of fear started to go away.

I've been there too, Ziney. It feels like it would be better for your loved ones when you're in it, but imagine the suffering they would feel. Please don't put them through the loss. Consider staying on SR and maybe getting some help from the ER. Thinking about you...

I'm glad you're here, reaching out for help :hug:. Someone is here 24/7.

Ziney, you are stronger than you think. Going through hard times can help you to grow in ways that you wouldn't have otherwise and come out with so much more than you can imagine now. Get the help that you need now - for your family and for yourself. There is a purpose for your life.

Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes forgiving yourself is more profound than receiving it from others. You can get better, have faith.

That's right where I was a while back. Are you going to AA meetings? What have you done to address your problem.

Bob R

You can do this , and life is better with you in it. :grouphug:

Ziney, please call someone who can help you today. As Anna said either the ER or one of the hotlines. Here are some numbers in Arizona, too:
HOTLINES-Arizona Suicide Prevention ALERT

Drinking makes it really hard to see any kind of hope or possibilities in our lives. So many here have been in your shoes, some on death's door who have lost everything and found a way back, others have tried for years and finally find the help they need. Give yourself permission to believe it can happen for you, too.

We're here and want to support you.....:grouphug:

Killing yourself will not help you or your love ones. Call your local hospital or police for help. Treat me, wanting to kill yourself is not a good way to go. The pain will go away if you get help.

Your love ones need you in their lives. I deal with this type of thinking on a regular basis. I have seen distraught people turn it around and they become the happiest, most positive people on this earth. You are loved and needed. Never forget that.

Ziney, alcohol will make you think & feel things you never would sober. I've been in that boat, try to quit, cave in, hate myself some more, sick of being defeated again & again. I wanted to give up, but it was usually when I'd been drinking or really hungover.
But I didn't give up fighting. I kept trying & trying, exhausting as it was & I finally made it out of the pit.
I know it seems hopeless & your MS exacerbates things but please don't do that.
You can quit. I did. I never thought I could. But that was the alcohol telling me that.
I've been sober almost 10 weeks & my life & thinking has done a complete 180. I am not who I was. I am so much better.
Don't give up. It will get better, just keep fighting. Your family loves you & needs you.
I can't believe I even thought about ending my life now. It has just begun.
You're in my thoughts & prayers hon.

Thank you
 

SO MUCH TO EVERYONE ON HERE.This is the second time I've read your posts and I'm so glad to have found this forum.I told my dad what I wrote to ya'll and he said the same things.My darling sister died of alcoholism not long ago and we all miss her desperately.I just wanna quit drinking so bad---gonna go on here every day.THANK YOU!!!