Are you going to do some kind of program to stay stopped?

Maybe a beer on fridays

This will lead to 1/2 gallon of vodka a day before you realize it.

What are you going to do to prevent it? It sounds like once you start, you don't stop.

I tried to moderate what I drank for many years. I almost lost my life proving there was no such thing as 'one beer'. Please be careful.

With all due respect legalage.....what are you wanting us to tell you? That it's okay to have a "beer on Friday"?.... because it isn't. We know that and you know that. "Moderation" is a fantasy. Lankah is right......I've never seen someone flip flop that fast! And I can tell you from experience that combining Xanax and alcohol is a deadly train wreck waiting to happen. If you want our help you've got it.....but you MUST want to help yourself first.

You might want to check out the AVRT thread in the secular connections forum. I think it would be useful to recognize and disassociate from that little voice inside your head that's running the show right now.

Half a gallon of hard liquor a day is a little crazy. Must of sux when you needed to stop. Good to see your okay now. Learn from your relapse and move on.

Hi Legalage,
Good for you on stopping and throwing away the Xanax. It shows that you are serious again.
I would like to add that I would read Langah's considered and constructive post carefully and try to respond honestly for yours and others sobriety. What you have gone through is not just a lesson to you but to all of us. Who knows, what you may say will strike a chord in another member and give them some insight into that addictive voice.

When that voice was screaming at me I posted, talked to people, listened to tapes on relapse. Anything so that I would not pick up that drink. I am 9 months sober and the obsession has left me. The voice is quiet now, I know that it could come back if I don't keep working on my recovery which to me is not a chore but a journey of self discovery.

Hang in there and tell us what went on before you picked up that drink.

All the best
CaiHong

At 9:55am GMT, you posted that you weren't going to fool yourself again. Almost exactly 3 hours later you said you feel like drinking again. Sounds like something I used to do. The morning vow to never do that to myself again. Then a few hours later, "hmm, a few drinks sound pretty good."

What changed your thinking in those 3 hours? Was it the xanax? Did you think that last bender wasn't really that bad?

It's only going to get worse my friend. It did for me. There is a much better way to live than chasing your tail.

God bless.

Well, its been a week. Up to my usual half gallon of liquor a day. Just feel dead! THe xanax isnt helping much either. I feel like Im in a major downard spiral

Legal, please don't mix the 2. You are playing a deadly game.
The alcohol will pull you into its horrible abyss & make you think you need it but you don't.
Please get help. Detox, rehab, whatever.
You don't have to live like this. You can be free.
Have you tried AA?
It will only get worse & you may accidentally killing yourself.
Please don't do that. We care & want you to get better.

I agree - please don't give up on life. You can still turn this thing around.

I have no motivation to do anything except foor keep up the drinking. Right now I am drinking to avoid withdrawals. I can't even imagine feelng good. I can't imagine not having my alcohol. I cnt emagine leving my house

Stop the Xanax. I know you said you did. It is hard to know what you want because in all of your posts you say something different. 1st is a cry for help. 2nd feeling great with Xanax ... Beers on Friday (?????), now you are quitting again.

You think getting off of alcohol is hard, wait until you try Xanax.

Good luck.

I don't think Xanax will be that hard. The drinking is killing me to get off of.

The only way this will get better is if you do not drink. And it wil get better if you follow that one rule. No other option!!

On another note; I'm bookmarking this thread to read if I get that stupid voice claiming I can have one beer Friday..... It always ends like this for me. Lessons. Makes me wanna scream.

Just stop drinking and things will get back to better.

Sweetie, you have an addictive personality. Xanax is extremely addictive. It is harder to get off of than heroin. Look it up.

I know I quit Xanax without a doctor and I almost died.

Just be careful.

How old are you legalage?...Are you legal age?...What part of the kind and thoughtful advice you've been given in this thread do you not understand? Do you think people take their time to respond to you out of boredom?...You're on a path to killing yourself here LA....And your doing it without a clue of what it is...I really think you should look into checking into a rehab where you can have a controlled detox...Or you're not going to be around much longer...And there's not a damned thing we can do about it.... Maybe you should start at the beginning and read this thread one more time...I don't think you'll even understand yourself.

Im 29 y/o. I threw away the xanax.

Trying to quit the drinking is killing you because you have once again made your body physically dependent on it. You're at a point where you HAVE to drink now unless you go and get some help. Trust me on this ... I was there a couple of weeks ago ... decided I'd finally had enough of this "I can have just one," then drink, then get wasted, then be hungover, then have to drink again to feel better ... rinse and repeat cycle. Did a medical detox and I'm sober again now for 14 days and it's the last time. You know you don't want this thing in your life ... now you have a BIG decision to make. And your choices are pretty simple at this point ... keep going the way you are and work yourself into an early grave (probably sooner rather than later), or decide this is IT and get yourself into detox. You're about out of options and I know I speak for the rest of us when I say that we'd much rather see you choose life.

If you can't stop and you've been mixing it with xanax, maybe you need to see a Dr or think about rehab or something along those lines, legalage?

Whatever you do, do something - real, positive action is the key - doing nothing is guaranteed to take you further and further down.

D