Help... Going to a bar tonight....
 

I'm going out with friends tonight to watch a live band we like. It is at a bar of course. Im pretty confidant that their drinking won't bother me but what is a good non alcoholic drink besides soda to order so my hands are busy?

Lime / tonic, Virgin Mary (or Cesar), ginger ale are my favorites.

Sorry......JMO, and from experience and stories I have been told of others who have tried that......bad, bad, friggin' idea.

Rex

I was at a bar last week and just drank bottled water. When the servers see this they naturally won't be bothering you for a fresh drink every 10 minutes like your alcohol drinking buddies. Just something I noticed and thought I would share....

Have to agree with Rexfiles on this one. In my case it wasn't so much being tempted at the bar, it's what goes through my mind after...when no one's around.

Be careful my friend.

Didn't you just join here Perfect?...What is this...A week yet?

For me quitting drinking meant changing my patterns, i.e. going to bars.

Slippery slope my friend

G

I still work in bars- and its rattling me- I only gave up drinking because it leads to coke which is still not far enough behind me to be comfortable. I get free liquor in bars as well- coke was a no brainer to want to quit- alcohol, which has never been a huge issue is harder because social drinking was more my pattern. But Im doing it anyway. Thats my outlook. That said.
1) I wouldn't go at all. if the band is good they will still be around when you are stronger.
2) If you don't heed that advice you might benefit from the strategy Im using this Sunday- Ive already made an appointment to call someone I met at the meeting on every set break. That way Ill have a distraction. Since Im in the band there wont be noise- so maybe you could do the same thing with text.

But all in all- I just would avoid the difficulty- and as was pointed out above- Ive noticed cravings come when Im NOT expecting it- not when Im ready for it. I can feel super committed one minute - even relieved that it is feeling easy- and then get the desire to use simply invade my thoughts right after my bout of self congratulation. scary ****.

.

Correctamundo.

I change

People

Places

Things.

IMO the alternative is setting myself up for the inevitable.

Just one chronic relapsers opinion.....heck, what would I know........???????

Rex

sugar free red bull and an EXIT STRATEGY

How long have you been sober perfect73?

Six weeks sober. Husband and friends are über supportive. They are all aware that I'm not drinking.

Good luck. I agree about the exit strategy.

Husband knows that if I feel uncomfortable we are headed for the door. Ill update tomorrow and let you know how this turns out.... Last time we were out after one week of sobriety I drank soda and left feeling stronger than ever. I knew when it was time to cut out and everyone understood. If my friends order shots then I'm out! (my weakness is tequila) their beer and mixed drinks don't trigger me... Just wanting an alternative to soda.

sounds solid...enjoy

sounds like you're good then. have fun! i went to a show in a bar when i had 60 days and had a blast.

Sorry, I'll gladly defer to being the resident stick in the mud here.

I would not try it.

Sounds like this will be a routine.

Russian Roulette JMO

Hope I am wrong.

Rex

San Pellegrino with a slice of lemon or lime. Yum. Sometimes I throw in a little cranberry juice as well to change things up.

for me there's nothing that's gonna get me inside a bar again. I'm getn to where I think drunk people would just irritate me too much.

Good luck Perfect! I like the support system and exit strategy, good stuff. Also agree with pp about the bottled h2o. Have fun and take good care of yourself! xo

The first time I exposed myself on purpose to a pub setting for lunch, I was pretty apprehensive beforehand. I drank sodas, left when I was ready, and felt pretty darn pleased about the whole thing afterwards. I felt as though my sober muscle was getting pretty darn buff, and I have used that situation to strengthen my booze blinders since then.
I would be telling you a different story had my pub lunch finished off three hours late with more than a couple of draft beers behind me. I think you will need to decide how you are going to handle this well in advance, visualize how it will actually transpire, and then make that part happen.

Well I'm a huge coffee drinker. Lots of bars will brew me a pot, I only have to ask. The only caveat being sometimes I end up drinking the whole pot and dancing like Elaine from Seinfeld. The bar should have almost any kind of fruit juice it you like that. Enjoy the band...I love live music!

While I personally think it's a 100% bad idea in this stage of recovery, you obviously need to chart your own program.

If nothing else, drive yourself and don't be designated driver. You need to be able to leave on your own with no strings attached if it becomes too much

Like August said, have an Exit strategy and don't be afraid to use it. Fake being sick, headache, diahrea - whatever it takes.

This Alcoholic in Recovery has No business
in a bar. 21 yrs. sober living on a solid foundation
built on steps, principles and honesty. :)

I have a simple, easy fix for that problem. I just don't go to bars or any other alcohol fueled place/event.

For those who think going to the bar is a bad idea....ready / aim / fire at me, I'm about to blaspheme. I say go to the bar, order your water / soda / coffee head held up high, and don't let the liquor own you. Probably my biggest gripe with those who say avoid the situation or get new friends or whatever is basically letting the alcohol hold you hostage. You own this, and don't give up the rest of your life, it can be fun. Be sure you can't drink, make sure everybody knows you can't drink, and leave.....well....when it feels right to leave.

To amend on what you are saying, if I have to ask or post on something, deep down inside, I pretty much figure I'm about to go against my OWN better judgement.

I'm just looking for validation for my potential mistake.

Learned that many moons ago, just chose not to practice it sometimes.

Rex

I did this with my Mardi Gras gig- I actually went through the motions - didnt hand my money over to my support (spouse) went to the place at the time I normally score/use- and went right up to the brink- and "owned" my "no" Didn't disable myself- in fact it was in a way completely reckless given my amount of sober time- but somehow it gave me the strength to say no easily- easily- when someone waved a bag of coke in my face later on that night. I needed somehow (and this is just me- and I suppose you are similar) to not have an excuse for why I was sober (I had originally planned to turn my cash over to my wife etc)

And what do you know- but just today, I was going through some pockets of a jacket I hadn't worn in awhile and found a half a gram - now, who in the hell ever had "spare" blow? stuff they "forgot" to do? the odds of that...
Anyway- I flushed it. I looked at it, and chuckled at the irony and flushed it.Times like that are certainly dangerous- but when you win- it builds the confidence- problem of course is that one doesn't always win.

Well, just got home. Had a lot of fun. Drank club soda with lime and had a couple red bulls. Feeling pretty solid and good about life as a sober chick!

Good work Perfect73.

I have no issue with going to bars. I'm not afraid of them and I'm under no delusion that they have anything to do with any decision that I might make about drinking. If I decide one day that I want to drink, I'm going to drink ...somewhere.

The time that I've spent in bars and around others who drink since quitting has only served to strengthen my resolve.

To each his own, but there is no right or wrong on this. There is only what is right or wrong for you. Some people will make the decision to drink the Tuesday before they're supposed to go to a bar with friends. They'll post on a website...should I go? They'll feel the anticipation of the drink all week till that night finally arrives. Then they'll go out and get loaded and blame it on the "environment" - I knew that bar was going to get me!

You're in charge.