Calling Strangers on the Phone?
 

Hey guys, kind of a dumb question here, but does anyone else find it extremely hard to just call a stranger up on the phone?

I went to my first meeting a few days ago and all of the women gave me a meeting list with their phone numbers on it and I was told by several people to just give them a call and introduce myself and such, so that I could get used to talking to them in case I ever have a bad situation and need to call them.

I still haven't called any of them yet because I have terrible anxiety and calling strangers just makes me feel totally weird.

What is a good way to approach this?

I'd try to remember they gave you their number to call them to practice when you need help - they want you to, FF :)

I'm not good with strangers or on the phone either but sometimes you just have to do it :)
D

Write down what you're going to say beforehand, and when you make the phone call refer to your notes. Only, don't actually READ them off lol...

You're not alone in your anxiety, FF. For me, calling someone from a meeting was no less difficult than walking through the doorway into the first meeting.

As Dee said, it helped me to remember they wouldn't have volunteered their numbers if they didn't want me to call.

Other than that consolation, I had to "out want' my anxiety....which was no small task.

Call & talk. Yes, awkward, but like a first meeting, you can accomplish it. Call & talk.

Im hoping to see them all again this week when I go back to the same meeting, and I think that as I see them more and more I may be more comfortable calling them.


I think this week during my lunch breaks at work I am going to call one person a day and just say "hi, I'm ____, I met you at a meeting last thursday and you gave me your phone number, I just wanted to call and say hello and practice calling incase i need your help in the future"

i guess that would be ok? lol I have no social skills whatsoever, I blame my parents for that they pretty much kept me in a bubble until I was almost an adult and I never learned how to properly make friends or socialize with people in general.

I'm a mess with things like this, FF. Practice is the only way. After a few tries you'll feel much more confident. You can even tell them you feel a little awkward - they'll understand.

(The parents keeping you in a bubble thing - I can relate! Alot of my problems come from that.)

Yeah, and I hope they text because I love to text and i would definitely feel so much more comfortable if they tell me that they would not mind that, lol.

Double Post.....

In AA we have to be there for another suffering alcoholic. This is required of us. So don't feel bad about calling. After you have been to a few more meetings and gotten to know some of these people better your anxiety will melt away.

I might add there is a chat room here at SR if you feel the need for immediate support.

Yeah im a frequent chatter there already :)

That's perfect....You can try..."MY sponsor thought it would be a good idea that I call the numbers I got on Thursday and introduce myself...I'm ___ and I look forward to hearing you share in the meetings....I'm new and I just want to learn what I can about the program. Any help you can offer...I would love to hear it."

Shows you follow directions and you are willing to learn...You're going to be surprised how friendly these people are going to be...They love it! You'll probably end up BSing about something you don't even expect....I had to do that...And these guys are all friends of mine now. They're alkies...They love to BS.

That's a great goal to set Flyer. Calling one person a day. And remember, you are helping them out just as much as they are helping you.

God bless.

Yeah, thats another thing too, is how exactly do you find a sponsor? I mean i have a friend that i talk to daily but I need to find a woman sponsor.

Look for a woman in the program that has the kind of sobriety that you want. Someone who preferably has several years in the program, has worked all the steps, and truly lives the program.

Ask around at meetings for those who are available for sponsership. Talk to a chairperson at the meeting if they know who is available. People in the meetings will be more than happy to guide you in the right direction. Go to a women's only meeting and get to know the people in there, listen to them speak.

I found my sponser at a meeting that appointed temporary sponsers. He and I got to know each other, and he is my sponser today.

Good luck and God bless.

Thanks, yes I am going to a womans meeting hopefully next week. I am the youngest person there so it is a little bit intimidating but I hope to find someone :)

great job! for me it was life or death.

FF-
What a great post! It's great that you are wanting to do something you find difficult in the name of your recovery. It demonstrates the kind of openness of mind and willingness that is required if we are to change our way of thinking and living.

A good ice breaker might just to call someone from the list that said something you liked at the meeting. Just say "I just wanted to call to say 'hi' and I like what you had to share."

The other person will likely carry the conversation from there. It's not weird, it's what we expect and want but don't get nearly enough of. We know we've got another person among us who is serious about their program. Being connected is such an important part of the program for me. These calls make my day and are one more thing to help me stay sober.

I look forward to hearing how your program is going since you are obviously off to a great start.

When you go...Share in the meeting that you are looking for a sponsor to take you through the steps...By the Big Book. Hang around after the meeting a little bit...That's good to do anyway. I'm sure somebody will approach you. You can also ask your friend who he would rwcommend as a good female sponsor...You can also pray a little...That never hurts. Good luck on your journey...It will change your life. It not only changed mine...It saved it.