Mistake
 

Yesterday, I made a mistake. I was having a cleaning moment (you know, how you just get on a roll sometimes?) and I threw something out by accident, something that I really needed and that would be costly and very inconvenient to replace.

A few short weeks ago, but an eternity ago at the same time, I would have had a fit about this mistake. I would have told myself that only a stupid alcoholic would have thrown out something this important. (I would probably have been half in the bag while doing it anyway.) I would have gone on to tell myself what a loser I was and to remind myself of all of the other foolish mistakes I have made in my lifetime while under the influence. I would have said, "@#$(*, I need a drink" and would have gone out to get more wine to comfort myself. (Being a perfectionist while simultaneously living with very active alcoholism is not something I would wish upon anyone else, ever.)

Instead, I realized my mistake and went out to sift through the garbage bags I had disposed of. I found the missing item and came in and had a good laugh and a celebratory cup of coffee. This might not sound like a big deal, but to me it was a huge victory.

Today in my inbox from my Hazeldon subscription:

I've made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes.
Everybody makes mistakes. The difference now is that I can see them more clearly afterward, and I am not living in denial about them.

If I become too critical of myself when I do make a mistake, I can remind myself that it's part of being human. I can remind myself that it's a learning experience and a mistake I won't make so easily in the future. Mistakes are not made intentionally, but they are errors caused by a lack of information or lack of attention.

Today I pay attention more than ever before and have more information than I ever have had. Mistakes will still happen, but they probably won't be as serious or dangerous as they were in my past. I can allow myself to make mistakes, understanding that when I give myself this freedom, I am accepting myself for who I am and loving myself unconditionally.

Thank you for posting it. We all need to be reminded sometimes to treat ourselves with kindness.

that is VICTORY!

In my life, I've often sailed through the big stuff gracefully, but the sort of situation you just described would have me cursing, throwing things and suicidal.

I am giving you a standing ovation! (but I abhor animated smilies, so you will just have to trust me)

I think of a lot of addicts and alcoholics are also perfectionists who expect way too much from themselves. I am so proud of you for this great victory and thank you for posting the article on mistakes.

:scoregood

Congrats on that resolution! The only thing I am a perfectionist with now is my sobriety. Perfection being completely sober. That is all. Nothing else deserves that level of accomplishment.

Thanks, icetea! A very good reminder. I was always angry & frustrated with myself, over-reacting to things like that & letting them bother me for days after. No way to live, as we've discovered! Good for you. :)

Well done, Icedtea! I had a similar experience this week, where I didn't get set off on a 3 day binge for being wronged, and perceiving that, therefore, the world had ended, so I may as well go down drunk. Nope. Didn't happen. Well done.

Hi Iceteaplease

had a chuckle at your post. Believe it, I have done the same. Ive been looking for my cheque book for 2 weeks. I spent hours looking, :a102:
About to call my bank yesterday 'its gone, lost'
this morning I go into the spare room and there it is sitting on a box. :skillet
I felt like idiot and Im still wondering when I put it there. :e052:
I havent been drinking though, I think its my age haha.

I'm a recovering perfectionist too Icetea. That was an awesome reading!! Thank you so much!

God bless.

I've found that my patience with my wife and kids has gone up by hundreds of percent.