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Mistake

Old 01-16-2012, 06:00 AM
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Mistake

Yesterday, I made a mistake. I was having a cleaning moment (you know, how you just get on a roll sometimes?) and I threw something out by accident, something that I really needed and that would be costly and very inconvenient to replace.

A few short weeks ago, but an eternity ago at the same time, I would have had a fit about this mistake. I would have told myself that only a stupid alcoholic would have thrown out something this important. (I would probably have been half in the bag while doing it anyway.) I would have gone on to tell myself what a loser I was and to remind myself of all of the other foolish mistakes I have made in my lifetime while under the influence. I would have said, "@#$(*, I need a drink" and would have gone out to get more wine to comfort myself. (Being a perfectionist while simultaneously living with very active alcoholism is not something I would wish upon anyone else, ever.)

Instead, I realized my mistake and went out to sift through the garbage bags I had disposed of. I found the missing item and came in and had a good laugh and a celebratory cup of coffee. This might not sound like a big deal, but to me it was a huge victory.

Today in my inbox from my Hazeldon subscription:

I've made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes.
Everybody makes mistakes. The difference now is that I can see them more clearly afterward, and I am not living in denial about them.

If I become too critical of myself when I do make a mistake, I can remind myself that it's part of being human. I can remind myself that it's a learning experience and a mistake I won't make so easily in the future. Mistakes are not made intentionally, but they are errors caused by a lack of information or lack of attention.

Today I pay attention more than ever before and have more information than I ever have had. Mistakes will still happen, but they probably won't be as serious or dangerous as they were in my past. I can allow myself to make mistakes, understanding that when I give myself this freedom, I am accepting myself for who I am and loving myself unconditionally.
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:45 AM
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Thank you for posting it. We all need to be reminded sometimes to treat ourselves with kindness.
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:47 AM
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that is VICTORY!

In my life, I've often sailed through the big stuff gracefully, but the sort of situation you just described would have me cursing, throwing things and suicidal.

I am giving you a standing ovation! (but I abhor animated smilies, so you will just have to trust me)
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Old 01-16-2012, 08:25 AM
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I think of a lot of addicts and alcoholics are also perfectionists who expect way too much from themselves. I am so proud of you for this great victory and thank you for posting the article on mistakes.

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Old 01-16-2012, 10:36 AM
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Congrats on that resolution! The only thing I am a perfectionist with now is my sobriety. Perfection being completely sober. That is all. Nothing else deserves that level of accomplishment.
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Old 01-16-2012, 11:01 AM
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Thanks, icetea! A very good reminder. I was always angry & frustrated with myself, over-reacting to things like that & letting them bother me for days after. No way to live, as we've discovered! Good for you.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:13 PM
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Well done, Icedtea! I had a similar experience this week, where I didn't get set off on a 3 day binge for being wronged, and perceiving that, therefore, the world had ended, so I may as well go down drunk. Nope. Didn't happen. Well done.
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:49 PM
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Hi Iceteaplease

had a chuckle at your post. Believe it, I have done the same. Ive been looking for my cheque book for 2 weeks. I spent hours looking,
About to call my bank yesterday 'its gone, lost'
this morning I go into the spare room and there it is sitting on a box.
I felt like idiot and Im still wondering when I put it there.
I havent been drinking though, I think its my age haha.
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:56 PM
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I'm a recovering perfectionist too Icetea. That was an awesome reading!! Thank you so much!

God bless.
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Old 01-16-2012, 08:43 PM
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I've found that my patience with my wife and kids has gone up by hundreds of percent.
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