I was really hoping I wouldn't feel this way.
 

BUT I am. :( I really wish I could be a part of some sort of festivities but then at the same time not. I just wish this evening didn't mean so much but here we are. All it meant to me in the past was another reason to get blasted drunk.

I feel a great sadness and loss. Does that make any sense?

I can tell my husband is happy to be home. Probably happy not to be out with me wondering what embarrassing amount of alcohol I would drink or what I would do. Can't blame the poor guy.

So now what? In the future what do we do on NYE? I don't want to be depressed. I know I am, all the signs are here. Didn't shower, sitting in my room, general sadness, hearing all the fireworks is killing me. I just want this night to be over.

A few tears and some food for me tonight. Yes I'm not having a NYE Party I'm having a NYE Pitty Party. :(

I do sincerely hope everyone has a great 2012 though. Just want this night to be over.

I had a lovely quiet night watching DVDs with the boy. No desire to party.

Last year I was climbing the walls.

It gets better. It gets easier. Hang in there.

Stu.

(((1undone)))

It's true, it will not feel like this forever 1undone. I think all the 'firsts' are very difficult. Holidays, vacas, birthdays, - all we've known is celebrating with alcohol. We're having to figure out a new way of enjoying things. I admit I felt very sorry for myself on holidays in the beginning, but it all changed. You are normal. It will get better - promise. :)

Hi,
I was sad to read your post. This is my second NYE without booze and your post has me wondering if I felt sad last year. Could you try to accept that you aren't drinking tonight and make the best of it. Do something nice like take a long hot bath and curl up with a book? Or movies and popcorn? It may sound lame but it is what it is.
Whatever you decide, feel pride in your decision to stay sober and feel great when you wake up New Years Day.
:)

Im feeling the same in a way. Its hard to think everyone else is out having fun but Im not allowed to. Of course it wouldnt be fun for anybody if I was loose as a goose out there. My wife is happy cause she knows I will be good tonight. At least I will not be hungover tomorrow. I plan to really enjoy the 1st of the year, a day I usually sleep/puke through :)

(((1undone)))
 

Aww, I can totally relate! I'm only on day 4 and I feel punished by not being able to drink tonight. I'm doing my best not to listen to the lies.

Remind yourself about how you're taking care of yourself. No hangover tomorrow. No wasted money. No walk of shame trying to piece together what you did and praying you didn't hurt anyone.

Pulling for all of us tonight!!!!!!
Hugs!

Forced myself to at least join the rest of my family. I hate "firsts" by May they will all be OVER! Christmas didn't bother me this much. Odd.

This is my first sober NYE too. Feeling ok, but a little anxious. We have friends over, kids are playing, etc..I admit this is difficult. Im going to make the best of it and not drink thats for sure.

Day 61 for me. I will just think of all the old New Years Days and remember how horrible I felt. That should help. Tomorrow we will all feel great.

We can do this!

The fantasy that we could just have fun tonight, drink, and have a good time with no consequences. Of course the night would go perfect too in our fantasy.

Or

We live the reality of how we would have already drank too much from the night before. We would still be lying in the bed nursing the hangover or already drinking ourselves into oblivion for the "sweet NYE party." All we are missing is another opportunity to hurt ourselves or our loved ones.

Take it easy tonight and enjoy being conscious enough to remember the new year!

Nirvana, that what makes it so bitter- sweet. My mind is addict mind is thinking I should be doing something but the rational knows better and I'm doing the right thing. I do have to acknowledge a loss as it really feels that way. I will get through, just need support.

I'm right there with ya.... The voice has me ******* pissed, about to go out to my garage chew on some nails :lala or beat the **** outta something. A couple of old friends are having a get together, but I know that if I went over there, there could be the same drinkers from my past show up... :gaah

I know I will make it through this as well, I have to, but :gaah :gaah and :gaah

I guess I was lucky in that I got sober in April - by NYE, I knew in my bones alcohol had nothing good left for me.

It still took me some time tho to work out I could still have fun, and still be with people - I just couldn't drink.

Sometimes that means changing hang outs, or activities, sometimes changing friends, but it's possible to have sober fun - just remember back to before we started drinking or drugging :)...

Takes a little more effort and imagination than just opening a bottle maybe, sure - but it's worth it, I think :)

D

Wow, yeah... Just like undone said, I really did not expect this; My heart's racing and I'm sweating just like back in week 1&2 (maybe not quite that bad). I'll probably take a shower and see if there is a meeting go on around here.

I'm having a lot of trouble with that, myself, right now.. I have fun, but not wild crazy party fun when I don't drink. I feel great about it the next day, but.. I just don't think I'm a fun person when I don't drink.. It's tough to get past.

i feel the same way 1undone, i was feeling it more lastnight though. i was trying to post about it, but just sat there blank because i couldnt put it into words. im staying home tonight (its only 7pm here) and for the new year i decided to rearange my room. took me like 3 hours!! and now im just too exhaused to even care its new years! LOL

Here this!!! For as long as I remember myself partying, I only had fun when I drink. If for some reason (like being broke) I am not drinking, I stay home. Therefore for me, party days are DONE!!!:c021:

I will be picking up my sons from a teen getogether at 1:00 am. Me!!!!! I hope I get stopped and I am 100 percent sober!!!! No officer I have NOT been drinking.... LOL! my wife can stay warm while I taxi drive late nite for once!

If the police would have pulled me over just earlier, I could pass the breathalyzer with ease. 'I' had gone bonkers and should not have even left the house. Thank God that craving passed now I feel completely wore out. Happy flippin' new years :whoop LOL

Give it time SCD - It took some time for me to learn who sober me was again, and even more time than that to be comfortable with sober me.

I can party anytime anywhere now - but honestly? I don't often feel the urge anymore.

I've changed and my idea of fun has changed too - that might have something to do with me being in my mid 40s tho :)

I'm sure you'll hear from some sober party animals here tho ;)

D