Day 12 - Drank Wine
 

Well I decided to break my cleanse and have some wine. I actually don't feel bad about the wine and don't crave it at all today which is good but I fell and my knee is so bruised it hurts to bend it. Thats means no gym today which I am so not happy about...:c004:

So, you think it's okay that you had the wine? You mention a cleanse - are you trying to stop drinking?

Sorry about your knee.

I'd like to cut down and have a handle on it. I'm hoping I can...

People that don't have a problem with drinking don't have a problem going more than 12 days without drinking.

bennybored, if you could "have a handle on it", you would not be here.

Hi benny - I guess I had pretty much the same reaction as Anna....

When you said you "decided to break the cleanse and have some wine," it sounded like you were making a kind of rational decision, no big deal. So I guess I was left wondering.....

I hope your knee gets better soon..... (and I'm glad you posted!):grouphug:

You have me puzzled too benny cos I thought the idea was no more drinking.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3064780

Don't let yourself rationalise yourself out out of the progress you've been making, Benny.
I did that for years - I lost a lot of years.

D

benny - Please be careful. I wanted so much to just cut down, but I put myself in danger trying to do it. Very sorry you hurt your knee.

thanks for the notes- you are right Dee74 - I did rationalize myself into - ehh I just wish I could drink normally and once I feel more confident in myself because I haven't been drinking I change the rules and rationalize. I guess today will be day one again. Thank you for posting the link to my first post- maybe I should re-read that daily...
:c020:

I rationalized far too long. Life drinking was so bad, but life without seemed... unimaginable. At a certain point though I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Now I only wish I had reached that point sooner; life is so much better now that I don't have to be constantly struggling to control my drinking.

we all do that Benny - it's the hook that keeps most of us coming back to the same old same old...

'maybe I can drink normally now?'


D

Wow that is really scarey for me to read "I broke my cleanse" so you don't believe you are an alcoholic?

The part that scares me is there are so many people in jail or even worse yet in the grave who kept trying to prove they could drink like normal people. There is a lot written in the big Book about it to.

It says "it is the great obssession of every abnormal drinker to prove they can drink like normal people" and at the end it says, many have searched to the gates of insanity or death.

I have no idea if you are alcoholic, and its not up to me to say if you are but, I do know that if you are and you continue as you are, no good can come from it.

Getting rid of the "obsession to prove" was a huge relief for me. I'm glad all the trying and wondering is behind me now.

Was the injury due to the wine? There are many consequences to drinking.

Me too....

I mean, what the hell fun is drinking "normally" anyway? Drinking abnormally was my goal...

Awesome on the self honesty!