It's amazing what this disease can tell us and we fall for it... we all have such experiences, despite all the evidence from previous episodes of the results. It's times like this when having some feedback and support can be vital, to restore some clarity and reason.

I lost count of how many times I was at this point but the message did finally get through. The voice of addiction is very powerful and can override all common sense. Intellectual awareness of the problem often isn't enough, I think it needs to get a bit deeper than that though it can be a bit difficult to get to after a long time of shutting off feelings from the alcohol/substance abuse.

:ring

I used to do little mental "tests" like that too. Bad results usually. Much easier just to agree with myself that I really don't want to drink, so why would I have it around? Or buy it? Or accept someone's offer of a drink? Or go into a bar? And so on....

Ah, so been there. You can't undrink it, so, as everyone has urged, put it behind you. Only bring forward what you have learned. as Rachel said, lots of support from the newly sober on the March 2011 thread.

Wishing you peace & strength in sobriety.