The day went well the doc thought some anxiety meds might help with things so, perscribed some. I have not got the script yet and I think it is something like ephixer. not sure of spelling. I would like some advice about the use of meds. I have been on a lo w dose of celixa for a year, but they just will give u a pill for everything and I wonder about the benifits. I am not like, "oh I am an alcholic in recovery and I won't take anything." Its just I would appreciate some input from others about meds in recovery.

Good to see your still hanging in there lushly. Psycho meds are just another thing we eventually have to detox from. Lots of people say the 'do what your doctor says', line. I don't believe we always should, being addictive personalities. Alcoholism is cunning , baffling and powerful, according to the AA Big Book. I can convince myself and anyone else of about anything. Change is hard. We are creatures of habit. But change is easier when we do it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. The next thing you know you have a week, a month, a year, free from addiction.

Action I am not sure that I agree with you I am doing things toward my recovery. Seeing a councelor, went to a SMART in the -20 degree weather, on the forum and not drinking, but it's not you I have to convince is it? I had a tough day today. I started some anti anxiety meds 2 days ago. I feel like I have a tight cap on my head and just want to sit and stare. A bit hard to do when caring for a busy 3 yr old. I went and worked out and that didn't help a whole heck of a lot. I was a little concerned about this so early in recovery. My addictive voice did speak to me about having a drink, but I don't want to. It's just is too hard to do it anymore. I was glad to not have to worry about stocking up on the vino for the weekend. I just feel super funky. Drunk is a feeling I know well. I will give these meds sometime and check in with the Doc if things don't improve. I am hoping that continued recovery is where I will find myself 24 hrs from now.

Hugs
 

(((Lushly)))

Lushly, I believe wholeheartedly in the above passage. Danger sneaks up on you when you're not expecting it. Listen to everyone here and seek the help you need. You can do it. I certainly have.

I bet you are an amazing person. I bet you have much to live for. Focus on that. That's what I am doing, and while its not a cure all or panacea, it forces me to accept responsibility for my actions.

You are worth it, love. We all are.

~A

Just checking in with myself, so to speak. Today was nice. No addictive voices telling me that some wine would be fine. I didn't take my purse when I went to the golf course to xcountry ski, just in case .... It just made it easier. As I almost always stopped for wine on my way home from the course, so my habits are there and lets not tempt them to kick in. My head feels better than yesterday, from the anxiety meds. I am really still on the fence about the meds, but lets just see... I guess>>>> I don't know ?! #. A pill for everything just seems to be the American way no wonder there is so much prescription drug abuse. The drug companies are getting fat that's for sure. Well here's to another work week sober, one day at a time. God Willing.

:)

At work on a Monday. I felt very good to day. I enjoyed work and felt productive. I went to the course to ski. The snow is fast! I am sleeping well. I am just trying not to obsess over the weight I have put back on. If I am not drinking the weight is secondary. I also will not let myself obsess over marijuana. That is my second DOC and it is legal here ( medicinally ). So my addict self thinks, hey maybe the Dr. will prescribe it for anxiety. Although it is not on the list of aliments for which it is prescribed, and in my heart I know that is not truly being sober. It is also very hard on your lungs. Yet the addict in me plots. I simply tell myself that it is not the right choice and let it go for the time being. When the idea comes again I have to put it on hold again. I have tried to use pot to moderate my drinking before with little success. Well I am off to relax after another
completely sober day. At peace.....

Glad to see the update Lushly. Early sobriety is a confusing time - lots of different thoughts and moods ya know? Thing is to remain sober, work your support 100% and to continue moving forth.

I know it was a crazy time for me but I used my tools and kept making positive change even when I had some real lousy days which believe you me - many of us have.

Keep it going and know you can do this. Give things time.....and let yourself begin to heal. You are doing it and embrace each day in recovery. Best advice to keep this whole thing going......keep on with your support.....don't go it alone :)

How about just not drinking today?

Just for today, don't pick up a drink. Do something else - go for a walk, help your kids with their homework, write in a journal, make a fancy dinner, anything except drink.

Can you not fuss about tomorrow and just not drink today? Try that mindset, it makes my life a lot easier to handle.

BTW, congrats on your time do date, keep building on it by not drinking today :)

Well here's to another 24 hrs. The addictive voice spoke in a whisper today. I was maybe a bit edgy, not as pink cloudy as the day before. I am really trying to let my home life be harmonious for me because it is hectic with my daughter and grandson living here, so I hope not to get pissed when things are not the way I want them. If there are fights and frustarations, I will be tempted to drink. Anger has always been a huge reason for me to drink. I feel so uncomfortable with the emotion of anger all I want to do is make it go away. Never saw my folks fight much. Never has some trauma that would make it so, just in my nature I guess. Let it Be...........

Lushly,
I have had anxiety since I was 8 years old, and have drank a lot the last 6 years. I started on Lexapro in July, and I can honestly say that if I hadn't started on it, I doubt I would have 6 months plus right now. Some of us have brains that are wired differently than others, and I was drinking to self-medicate the anxiety. By 4PM every day, the anxiety was building up and up and up.

Please listen to your doctor and not some anonymous people on a website who tell you to not take medication. (including me!) That is one of the reasons I didn't stick with the other program, it is not 1940 anymore, there are very effective drugs for brain chemistry imbalances, and I am sober, and I don't care what anyone thinks! My brain chemistry is regulated, and I am feeling healthy and happy.

Do what your doctor says, and keep up the great work!!!
Nancy

Lush, a good program of recovery is extremely helpful in helping us make change so even when there is chaos in our lives we don't drink.

Keep it going and look into the options :)

I was never much good with anger or conflict either, Lushly - I don't think anyone really likes it....but I've learned that it happens, and I don't have to drink over it -I can come here for example and chillaxe and work things through...things usually pass much more quickly than I ever would have thought they would :)

I agree with Kmber - a good program of recovery is extremely helpful in helping us make those changes...keep looking for the right support network for you, ok?

D

A quick check in. I am amazed that the Habit/Addict energy speaks to me of drinking several times a day, most are fleeting. I went to a councelling appointment today, that is always strenghthening. I am starting to be aware of various feelings that have been dormant for awhile. Some are postive others a bit overwhelming, but at least I am cognicent of the feelings; that's the thing. I am extremely tired this pm so I will cut it short.and be at peace this moment....

Llife happens and I am doing the what I can to stay calm . We can't control others or circumstances. I am sober. but rather uninlightened tonight. I just have make checking in at the end of each day, and a gratitude in the AM part of my recovery plan. A SMART meeting tomorrow night. I pray for strength to do what is asked of me.

Didn't make it to the two week mark. I really am stuck with this addiction;;;;; unable to live with it anymore, but not able to get away from it either. I have nothing to say. Action was right. I was wrong. The depression hangs over head like the winter clouds. What a falure at something that should be doable. SR proves that it can be done. I have been a falure at many things, but this addiction WoW.....

SR is where you can get a peek at people who have found an answer that has worked for them to whatever point their at. But it's nothing in the way of a solution itself.

Alcoholism is a little tougher to deal with than that. Would be terrific if it were not.

So, you might consider the solutions available to you and evaluate them on how well they are working for those that make some efforts to do them.

Doing little or nothing will not alter things for you, so getting active is called for.