CJ - I went through withdrawals and I stayed quit for 2.5 years without a doctor or AA. So you can do it. I do think I made it harder for myself by not seeking help. Due to some mental issues, though, I just couldn't ask for help. Pride, fear, you name it. The big baddies were all there. Heck, I didn't even come to SR until a couple of weeks ago. I just couldn't talk to anybody about my alcoholism. I know how you're feeling, and I know how hard it is just to reach out a little bit. So far, you're doing great with this. Keep on keeping on. Here's something I'll throw out: I made myself a promise in those early days. If I decided I couldn't stay sober alone, I'd suck up all my fear and pride and seek some help. Maybe you can make yourself a promise like that and stick to it? I understand 100% not wanting to deal face-to-face with other human beings in these early days. You're so miserable that you just want to be left alone. You may need some time to get to a point that you want to deal with other people. Just don't let yourself relapse out of stubbornness or fear. There's no shame in saying you can't do it alone. |
That's good advice lildawg. That's a promise I can make to myself. But right now I don't want to be in any kind of meeting. I'm not interested in talking to anyone about it face to face. Typing these messages is all I can do right now. I'd fall apart in any other situation. On top of that I just got a call from my ex asking me if I can look after the kids, so she can go to the movies with "someone". I never asked who, but further references avoiding any name, such as "this person", tells me its a date. I don't feel I'm in a state to deal with this right now. There is a whole range of emotions popping up right now. Don't worry, dealing with it by drinking is not on the table. I couldn't really tell her I can't because I'm going through withdrawal. Thoughts of her rediculing me with another man, referring to the fact that she can't go out "due to her loser drunk ex" flashed in my head. I said yes. I do want to see my girls. I just don't want to deal with these emotions right now. |
Well, I was feeling better earlier than I am now. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about there. About 9 more hours till I hit the famous 72 hour mark. I find these little goals help. |
The reason why I always recommend a doctor? I'd been been through withdrawals hundreds of times - I was a master. The last time? I suffered a series of mini strokes...I was really lucky it wasn't worse. I didn't even know what was wrong with me until some time after because I was too proud, too stubborn, and too scared to see a doctor. It's 3 years on, and I'll always carry around the little legacies of that decision not to seek help. I'm glad you feel ok CJ, but for anyone reading this, it's always better to be safe than sorry. 'Go see a doctor' is, IMO, great advice. D |
Hope things go OK with the kiddos--I'm sure they are in good hands, it's just that detoxing with kids makes me shiver--for YOU. |
Wise advice Dee. The names not Chris though. :) We'll just leave it with my initials for now. C.J. May I ask what symptoms you were feeling when you had the ministrokes? And yes feeling safe rather than sorry is wise advice. The unfortunate thing is, for many of us, when we are going through severe withdrawal, we are not thinking clearly, and make stupid decisions. For some the cost is great. |
As you can tell on these boards here CJ, others have had success at staying sober without going to AA. Myself, I knew deep inside I couldn't do it alone. I chose AA and it has worked for me. I had a very good friend of my family who died something like 35 years sober and never entered the doors of AA. Not only that, he and his family had a very good happy and healthful life once he got sober and cleared up. One thing you will find here at SoberRecovery is a lot of help and support from people who care. People just like us and have experienced what you are going through now. Hang in there and keep posting to let us know how you are doing. Harry |
Originally Posted by CJ1
(Post 2680837)
Wise advice Dee. The names not Chris though. :) We'll just leave it with my initials for now. C.J. May I ask what symptoms you were feeling when you had the ministrokes? And yes feeling safe rather than sorry is wise advice. The unfortunate thing is, for many of us, when we are going through severe withdrawal, we are not thinking clearly, and make stupid decisions. For some the cost is great. When I was detoxing the last time I was very disorientated, very uncoordinated, I was very weak (much more than usual) and I had a lot of cognitive difficulty - even simple things like making a coffee or putting a CD were beyond me and took several attempts. The problem is many those symptoms are familiar to many others here, with more or less degrees of severity. That's why I think it's important for anyone to see a Dr for a professional diagnosis if you're at all worried. D |
CJ welcome and congratulations on your decision to get sober. You're definitely in the right place if you need the support of wonderful people who've been there. Just keep in mind that the best is yet to come, and as your physical withdrawls fade, allow your mental strength to grow. You'll be great! You too Irish!! xoxo |
Hey everyone. Last night went all right. I took the kids for a nice walk in the park, and brought them to a playground so they could have a little fun. The walk did me some good. I definitely wasn't feeling well, but never let that cause problems for girls. Today is day 4. I'm feeling a lot better. Every day will only get better from here on in, as long as I'm not stupid and relapse. Feeling very positive right now about the future. I know I can do this. A man on another forum once wrote, "I had to drink every drink I drank, to realize I could never drink again. " I feel like that right now. Those past relapses have added up to a final certain break. I can still have a future. |
Yes, you can. It may take a while to figure out what that future is, but, if you don't drink, you've certainly got a future coming. Good for you! |
Thanks Lildawg. One day at a time is our often used phrase, but its the only way to go. |
Glad to hear you are feeling better. You have a positive attitude about staying sober and that is a good start. Glad to see you posting and letting us know how you are progressing. Take care CJ and have a good day, Harry |
Thanks Harry. The head still hurts, I am a little shaky, and there is some anxiety, but all that was to be expected, and its bearable. Huge improvement from the last several days. Every day will get better. Thanks to everyone who has shown that they care. It means more in these dark times than a lot of people would know. |
CJ1 and IrishEyes I'm proud of both you. Remember to take it easy while you are detoxing, you deserve it. You are doing a wonderful thing for your body. SH |
Just wanted to check in. It's Day 5 now for me, and I'm doing well. I have the standard anxiety, and am a little shaky still, but getting better and better. I have a day off from work today, and I'm enjoying it. |
Good day CJ. Glad to hear that your improving. And your welcome about us caring. I know early in my sobriety I had found another recovery site and just the care and support I got from those people helped a lot. I still stay in contact with a few of them and it's been at least 7 years now and we have grown to be friends. Will kepp you in my prayers. Take care my friend and hoping you have a good day. Harry |
I am on day 7 and also made it here because I simply CAN NOT 'do it again' cause my wife and kid depend on it (I finally hit my breaking point after trying to quit before). I hear that 'doing it on your own' is dangerous and often does not work for many. I hope to be the exception as I know what I have left to lose....and it is simply not worth that. The will to survive is strong. |
Thanks for checking in CJ1 and Jabbadabut. I think I can speak for a lot of people on here when I say that we are thinking about you and wishing you success. SH |
CJ - so happy to hear you're feeling better at day 5 and enjoying your day off. I enjoy treating myself to rest and relaxation these days (instead of franctically trying to keep my balance on the alcohol tightrope!). I don't even mind splurging on good eats, an article of clothing, or a good book. I'm still saving $ compared to my drinking days. Have a great Saturday night, and if you run out of stuff to do or feel like you want a drink, come hang out here! :grouphug: |
Thanks again everyone for your messages of support. I'm still going strong. Day 6 now, and wow do I feel much better. I've been back to exercising, and eating well also. Already starting to really notice improvements. It will still be awhile before all the effects wear off, but the improvement in ony 6 days is drastic. I had about 9 hours of sleep last night, and I feel quite refreshed. I know some have insomnia that lasts a long time, but I hope I am done with that. Don't want to get my hopes up though. Yes, of course there is always that voice in my head that says, "Wouldn't a drink be great right about now?" But I'm ignoring it. I know where that leads me. That voice may never go away. I know that, but I can choose to ignore it. |
So glad to hear you're feeling better. This is where you can start working on those "before and after" mental images. Remember, no matter how good you feel, it's always possible to go back to how you WERE feeling--almost in the blink of an eye. |
CJ -- Regarding the voice that wants to have a drink: Someone here suggested that you play the scenario all the way through. Think about the embarrassing things you'll do if you drink. Envision the thumper of a hangover you'll have in the morning. That doesn't even touch on the shame and the irritation you'll feel at yourself for blowing your quit. This exercise has helped me talk myself down a couple of times. |
Good advice from both of you. That's exactly what I will do. I know that that first drink ends up plunging me into the depths of despair. Simply not worth it. |
Great news on Day 6. keep up the good work. Remember your body is telling your mind to tell you to drink. Stop the irrational thought by thinking the action through to the end. BEST tool in the box. SH |
Thanks Stanley. It's true, my body keeps sending me signals saying that the only way I will be able to relax is with alcohol, but I know the complete ruin of peace of mind that comes with listening to that message. |
Playing the tape through has saved my bacon more than once CJ :) D |
I'm brand new, being 3 days in, but I'm trying to compartmentalize my brain from my body: My body wants alcohol, but my brain says "No booze for you!" [insert "Soup Nazi" voice. It makes it funner]. |
Heh, That's so funny you should say that, the "Booze Nazi" has come to mind for me a few times lately. I think we're on the same brainwave today, BDT. I don't know for sure which one of us that should concern most. :) |
Too Funny, Boutdamntime |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:42 PM. |