Maybe you're right.

A bit confused to be honest. When I tried to apologise the other day, I sent her a text saying I think part of it was that I was jealous. She replied and asked why I was jealous. I told her that I liked that we'd spending a lot more time together lately and speaking a lot more, and that I think I was just being an idiot and didn't want her to go off with someone else.

She asked me what I was trying to get at, I said I didn't know what I meant, and she didn't reply after that.
I said pretty much the same on the phone to her yesterday and she said "you really have got a way with words, you need to think about what you're saying"

I'm scared to make things worse! lol

You did the right thing to remain vague while you figure out your feelings.
I would think hard and twice before telling her if your feelings are turning romantic towards her since if she does not feel the same this could ruin your friendship.
Take her advice and think about what you are saying and what the consequences will be before you say it.
If you have romantic feelings towards her look for clues that she feels the same before you say anything.
I have been in your position a long time ago and I made the mistake of revealing my feelings and losing her as a friend so I am not giving any advice. I am just saying be careful and sure of what you want to say.
Good luck.

Ahhh...the next day. It's the price you have to pay. And it blows.

I don't miss it. At all.

Good luck to you. I hope you figure it all out soon. xxoxox

Okay, I finally explained myself properly to my friend.

Explained that I'd been having these confusing feelings for her, and when I was drunk it got the better off me. Explained it all, told her I won't drink around her in future because I don't want her not to come out with me, and I think we're more or less all good now :)

I certainly feel much better. Hopefully I can finally get a goodnight's sleep now!
Cheers for the help people. I'll look at the drinking issue.

Many "looked" at their drinking issue untill it was too late and they had nothing left to live for. They "looked" at their drinking issue right through destroying everything and everyone in their lives that meant something to them. They "looked" at their drinking issue when they were sitting in prison, institution or a coffin.

Sounds harsh I know but that is the reality if you are an alcoholic. I used to be like that, clearing out one mess i had gotten myself into through drinking and when the guilt/shame had started to lift I was ready to deserve my drinking again. Only to make a bigger mess the next time.

I have to do more than merely "look" at my drinking issue. I had to admit to myself that i am an alcoholic and that I do not want to really be remembered as a drunk at the age of 23. Thus i have to make sure i never take that first drink.

All The best. Untill the next drunken escapade.

You can think about not drinking and that approach will be just as successful as cutting back on the amount you drink or the beverage. Thinking is for philosophers. You're an alcoholic. Stop with the thinking. Wanna make nice with your friend? Shut up and show her! Get to AA. You need a program that works, and your's can't even get out of the starting gate.

And stop with the pity party. You screwed up and it's no ones fault but yours. If you really like the life you're leading right now (and it doesn't sound as if you're having a very good year) then keep up what you're doing. If you really want to change, get to AA and stay there. It ain't gonna be easy, but it sure works if you stay with it. So it all comes down to a choice, doesn't it? Which choice are you going to make?

joedris, thx!!! for the straight talk.......this IS a disease.

it is crystal clear that the situation with your good good friend is symptomatic of your drinking problem. you know how to fix things with her? get your butt on the wagon, go to an a.a. meeting and get a sponsor and do what he tells you to, and when you make some progress, you will know what to do (with her) and you will do it. don't miss this opportunity; it's obvious you love her

Bamboozle, if you're still out there, I'd like to ask you to re-consider apologizing to this former friend/Beautiful Person. As a Beautiful Person, she has great capacity to forgive and I'm making a leap here, but she also has a need to hear your amend. And you, sir, have a need to do this as well.

Now, that said, I know it's "made direct amends except when to do so would injure yourself or others" and I admittedly don't know of your situation. But if at all possible, a letter to her might be really good medicine. For both of you