A Newbie
 

Just wanted to say hi. I've recently hit my one year birthday. Just looking for new and interesting ways to keep working my program....

Congratulations on your 1 year. That's quite an accomplishment.

Do you go to AA? The Steps are a perfect way to work one's program.

Welcome, and congratulations on your sober time!!!

hi and welcome......im glad your with us................trucker

Wow, if you're one year old, how'd you learn to type so young? lol, just kidding.

Welcome to SR. You will find tons of support and freindship here.

welcome!!!

and

Congratulations!!!!!!!

Welcome and Congratulations!

I hope you continue to post.

welcome :) congrats on 1 yr.

Congratulations on your progress.......:funjump:

Welcome to our recovery community
:wave:

Thanks to you all. I do have a question... In rehab we are told not to get into a relationship for 2 years. But what do you do when you are still in one when you get out of rehab? It's with a non-addict who has refused to learn anything about our disease. I don't know what to do...

Hi Cams and welcome to the asylum. Congratulations on reaching the one year mark. I'm know it wasn't easy. As to your relationship, I'm not a marraige counselor but God knows that I've seen a lot of them. I'd suggest that if her attitude about the disease is a threat to your sobriety, then end the relationship. Maintaining sobriety is the most important thing in your life and must take precidence over all else. And although you got a year behind you, your sobriety is still very, very fragile. Don't let anything threaten it.

Welcome camsmama :ghug2 Great job on one year :day6

In regards to your relationship it might be a good time to see a counselor that knows about alcoholism & see if she is up to going. If not it might be time for a change. You have to put you first right now. Take care & good luck :ghug2

I don't think she threatens my sobriety, she just doesn't understand what addiction is all about. I've suggested Al-Anon and open NA meetings. She went to one meeting and came to rehab once to attend family therapy, but that was a disaster. I've been on Subutex and of course she doesn't understand that at all. I explained that a diabetic has to take insulin to control their disease. That's what Subutex does for me. I don't know. I'm really torn..

We have been to therapy and sometimes it seems to help her, sometimes not.

Although it's been a little over a year (sobriety), I haven't had to face many tough situations. That is until Sunday. A dear, dear close friend died. I'm really having trouble coping with this.. I've tried talking, staying busy, writing.... Any suggestions

cams in reality the suggestion at least in AA is no NEW relationships in the first year and if one really wants to get down to the nitty gritty of the suggestion in AA the real suggestion is no MAJOR life changes in the first year.

The one year mark varies from person to person, some folks have some good solid sobriety at 6 or 7 months, I heard a guy share that he was not ready for any major changes until he had almost 2 years sober.

BTW congrats on one year, that is a big mile stone.

My condolances on your friend, deaths and divorces are very trying times for an alcoholic in recovery, but many alcoholics do not drink over it because they know that a drink never solved a single problem for them, drinking may make a problem go away for a while, but the problem is still there and many times once we sober up the problem we tried to drink away has gotten larger.

Ask your self these questions and answer it honestly. "If I drank due to my friends death would they come back to life? Would it make the sorrow lessen long term?"

Our disease is always there, trying to give us a good enough reason to drink again when in reality for an alcoholic there is no reason good enough to drink over.

Actually, Taz, AA itself or the Big Book makes no opinion at all about this. I understand that you are simplifying, and I agree that it's pretty good advice not to shake things up if you don't have to. But let me throw out another reason beyond protecting fragile early sobriety.

What a world of difference in my relationships with others after taking all of AA's 12 steps and having a spiritual awakening. AA taught me how to actually love another person. Unconditionally. And I simply had no idea (although I thought I knew) what that was until I experienced it.

Thanks you guys. You know I was told in rehab that my family was grieving the loss of a part of me. And I saw it.. But I just keep jumping from one emotion to another. I have no thoughts of relapsing, if anything her death had brought my sobriety into perspective. I love her and will miss her dearly.