A Newbie
Congratulations on your One Year . . . I look forward to you sharing how you've made it this far. You've found a wonderful place that has helped me tremendously on my Journey in my new life.
God Bless,
Judy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mooresville, NC
Posts: 8
Thanks to you all. I do have a question... In rehab we are told not to get into a relationship for 2 years. But what do you do when you are still in one when you get out of rehab? It's with a non-addict who has refused to learn anything about our disease. I don't know what to do...
Hi Cams and welcome to the asylum. Congratulations on reaching the one year mark. I'm know it wasn't easy. As to your relationship, I'm not a marraige counselor but God knows that I've seen a lot of them. I'd suggest that if her attitude about the disease is a threat to your sobriety, then end the relationship. Maintaining sobriety is the most important thing in your life and must take precidence over all else. And although you got a year behind you, your sobriety is still very, very fragile. Don't let anything threaten it.
Welcome camsmama :ghug2 Great job on one year :day6
In regards to your relationship it might be a good time to see a counselor that knows about alcoholism & see if she is up to going. If not it might be time for a change. You have to put you first right now. Take care & good luck :ghug2
In regards to your relationship it might be a good time to see a counselor that knows about alcoholism & see if she is up to going. If not it might be time for a change. You have to put you first right now. Take care & good luck :ghug2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mooresville, NC
Posts: 8
I don't think she threatens my sobriety, she just doesn't understand what addiction is all about. I've suggested Al-Anon and open NA meetings. She went to one meeting and came to rehab once to attend family therapy, but that was a disaster. I've been on Subutex and of course she doesn't understand that at all. I explained that a diabetic has to take insulin to control their disease. That's what Subutex does for me. I don't know. I'm really torn..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mooresville, NC
Posts: 8
Although it's been a little over a year (sobriety), I haven't had to face many tough situations. That is until Sunday. A dear, dear close friend died. I'm really having trouble coping with this.. I've tried talking, staying busy, writing.... Any suggestions
But what do you do when you are still in one when you get out of rehab?
The one year mark varies from person to person, some folks have some good solid sobriety at 6 or 7 months, I heard a guy share that he was not ready for any major changes until he had almost 2 years sober.
BTW congrats on one year, that is a big mile stone.
My condolances on your friend, deaths and divorces are very trying times for an alcoholic in recovery, but many alcoholics do not drink over it because they know that a drink never solved a single problem for them, drinking may make a problem go away for a while, but the problem is still there and many times once we sober up the problem we tried to drink away has gotten larger.
Ask your self these questions and answer it honestly. "If I drank due to my friends death would they come back to life? Would it make the sorrow lessen long term?"
Our disease is always there, trying to give us a good enough reason to drink again when in reality for an alcoholic there is no reason good enough to drink over.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
What a world of difference in my relationships with others after taking all of AA's 12 steps and having a spiritual awakening. AA taught me how to actually love another person. Unconditionally. And I simply had no idea (although I thought I knew) what that was until I experienced it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mooresville, NC
Posts: 8
Thanks you guys. You know I was told in rehab that my family was grieving the loss of a part of me. And I saw it.. But I just keep jumping from one emotion to another. I have no thoughts of relapsing, if anything her death had brought my sobriety into perspective. I love her and will miss her dearly.
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