New first timer, confused
 

Hello everyone. My name is Michael and this is my first attempt at discussing my problem with anyone.

This morning, my wife told me she thinks I am an alcoholic. It hurt to hear those words, but I feel that they are true. I guess the first step is to admit that I cannot control my drinking, so I admit it. I don't have to drink everyday, but when I do drink I cannot stop. I drink everything in my possession. I feel guilty about sneaking drinks to keep my buzz going, my wife knows when I do, even though I might think she doesn't.

My wife and my health are really more important to me than drinking, so why do I do it? Why can I not have one beer and call it a night?

Today I am going to start my recovery. I will not drink after work. I intend to not drink tomorrow, Saturday, or Sunday. I intend, but I do not know if I will be successful. I am afraid that when I am offered drinks this weekend, I will give in. I would love to set small goals and meet them. Like go one week without a drink. If I can do that, then a month. If I can do that, six months...

I sought out an anonymous online forum because I believe the support will be helpful. I do not know any of you (so I think) so I can be completely honest. I intend to use this thread / board as a daily dairy of my efforts to quit drinking.

I thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Hi Michael, and welcome to SR.

It's a big step (and a positive one) that you've come here and you're admitting having a problem and needing help. There are a lot of us here who have been in your shoes (or still are in them!) and we are more than happy to offer our stories in hopes they will give you encouragement, strength, and hope.

Why can't you have just one and call it a night? Because you're addicted. Not being able to stop once you start, drinking everything in sight, hiding it, lying about it... all big, bright, red flags.

While your goals, even as "short-term" as you've laid out, are noble, I think the FIRST goal you should start with is not drinking TODAY. Don't overwhelm yourself thinking about tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday yet. Worry about tomorrow TOMORROW. Get through tonight first.

Read the "sticky" posts in the forums here. Check out multiple forums (Newcomer's, Alcoholics, Newcomer's Daily Support, etc.). Read, read, read. Post as you feel comfortable.

You can do this.

Go without a drink today, that's what I've done. We can pat each other on the back for today's accomplishment. WAY TO GO !
By the way I agree one drink does tend to lead to another

Welcome Michael, SR is so helpful. I'm glad you are recognizing your addiction.

I was were you were only a little while ago....it's a hard decision your making...but worth all the work it takes to stay sober.

Open up here, we're all in this together.

Peace friend.

That's because our bodies are wired a little more differently then a normal casuals drinkers body is. There's a good book called Under the Influence you should check out that can help answer many questions you may have. You can go on Amazon and find it for a penny. It'll be worth it.

In the mean time welcome to SR. Read, post, and ask questions, get to know this whole recovery road from the inside out!

:c009: Michael welcome to SR;


Michael try one day at a time, or a minute and hour whatever it takes you will get there step by step....

We are here for you,

Michael
My wife told me I was an aocoholic, I knew it was true but wouldn't admit it so well done, don't drink today, get to a meeting, get some help on here.
I am only on day 2 so am no expert, but I am an expert in losing a wife I loved dearly because I loved booze more than her has still taken me 7 months to realise it has beaten me, couldn't do it for my wife had to do it for me, when I woke up to it, it was was too late, the divorce is in progress and I miss her like crazy.
Good Luck to you

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/d...earingBlue.gif
It's the first one that gets (well, GOT) me in trouble. I can sooo relate to what you're saying. This is a great place to be and a great group of people to be honest with. I post when I'm ready to drink, and get the support to stop me. And I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes I have to take one moment at a time.
Welcome!

That takes real guts doesnt it.........just those words........i cant stop..

and thats something you could keep saying to yourself...it may help...

"WHEN I COMMENCE DRINKING I CANNOT PREDICT WHEN IM GONNA STOP"

Thats how i define my drinking.......simple and straight to the point..

Im a chronic alcoholic that doesnt drink today or yesterday or for a while.

And im real real glad to meet you...

And im looking foward to your future posts.........

Because you and me and all of us he have a common goal....

Just today im not gonna drink......

Life can and is good without booze.....................trucker

This is a great that you have put your foot on the ladder of recovery. You are right that this weekend could be difficult, our resolve can weaken when around other drinkers, especially in the first few weeks - might be an idea to keep yourself away from temptation in this respect.

Hi MLG,

Welcome and I am glad you recognize that you have a problem with alcohol.

I had to stay away from people and places where alcohol was being served, for quite a long time, when I first stopped drinking. It really helped.

Hey man, welcome! It´s my second day here too and i have already find this board love-and-support filled. Take advantage of the great amount of information going round here and the people around it and the best of luck!

I Feel what xym297 feels. I let my drinking and everything that came through it (exaggerated jealousy, yelling, relationship deterioration in general) **** up a beautifull relationship with a very important girl in my life and there is no turning back on that one, and then i only sank deeper in booze after it all died. So take everything you have right now, all the love and the support and work through it!

Best! :)!!!!!!!!

The key is finding the starting point in which you did. WELCOME. do this, every min you live sober is a method of moving forward to the goal you want for yourself.

Welcome to the family Michael!:ghug3 It takes a lot of courage to admit there is a problem. By admitting it now, tho, you can save yourself a lot of heartache down the road. Do set small goals for yourself - don't drink for today. That's a manageable goal. And it may be a good idea to keep away from tempting people, places, and things for a while.

Glad you found us!

Hi, Welcom to SR, lots of support here, stay around.. x

Thanks everyone.

I just had a self-awareness moment. I realized that I am a good person with everything going for me and that alcohol only takes away from that. It contributes nothing to my life. I have enjoyed drinking since I started at 20. Now, a decade later, I realize it is a waste of time, body, and money. I gain nothing from it.

Welcome. i hope you find the help you need. i suggest calling the AA Hotline number(should be in the phone book) and going to a meeting. Our words of support and encouragement do not have the same meaning as a face to face conversation with someone who is willing to help you stop drinking. i'd like to say, "Don't be scared", but maybe you need to be. It sometimes is the motivating factor to look outside of ourselves for the help we need. We can't do this alone and i need you just as much as you need me if were going to stay sober during this day. Try not to set any expectations on yourself. Haven't you beaten yourself up enough with your inability to control your drinking?? You've taken a step in the right direction by sharing that you want to stop drinking! Keep moving forward with that and your life will change for the better! My life has been getting better since 1,082 days ago and i have a hell of lot more hope for myself than that first day. Keep coming back!!

Welcome and I appreciate your courage and honesty. I got a bit I would love to share with you, because I just recently spoke with a friend of mine who is in an almost identical situation you are in (he's a binge drinker also).

What you said here bud is the First and most important Truth in the universe (as far as us alcoholics and addicts go). You hit the nail on the head. We cannot control this on our own and that also means that, since we cannot control this problem...we also cannot recover on our own good intentions and tenacity. We don't have that power and frankly we don't know what we are doing (regarding trying to recover).

You are married (as I am now for 18 years) and I don't know if you have kids, but lets use mine. If I were to ask my 14 son (whose a great kid, mind you) to take on the project of rebuilding the transmission in my car...he would probably give me a slightly worried and somewhat blank stare. And of course he would...he has no idea how to do something like that (at least for now), because hes still young and inexperienced. It would take some education (instruction manuals etc.), someone showing him how to do it and a good amount of trial and error before he got there. Our recovery is no different, we cannot "just do it" any more succesfully than my son would be able to just rebuild the trani all on his "willpower" (plus I'd be out completely a vehicle when at least it partially works now. LOL)

I want to simply encourage you to embrace your words (which I commend you for highly) and realize that you have taken the first step of many at ending your cycle of drinking. So much of our recovery is about changing the way we think about ourselves, because our current thinking got us to use. There is so much good information and support at this website as well as any AA group that you visit. Utilize it all as much as you can and listen well to those who have been in your shoes and walk this out for good while.

Glad to have you here.

Welcome to SR. I'm glad you're here.

I'm glad you are beginning to see the true role that alcohol plays in your life. It's the beginning of your recovery.

Welcome to the SR family!

You will find plenty of support and information here. Read and post as much as you need.

When I discovered this wonderful place, I found the following link very helpful. Bard mentioned the book "Under the Influence" these are excerpts from the book as posted here at SR under Alcoholism. This book helped me understand how I became addicted to alcohol entirely, body, mind and soul.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

DAY 2 -

Thank you all for the encouragement.

Last night was hard. My in-laws took my wife and I out to dinner, they are down visiting. We had an hour wait for a table, so we sat in the bar. When I ordered ice tea my mother in law and wife asked me what was wrong... why don't you have a rum and coke or whatever... I said, for the first time, that I did not want to fill up before dinner (lie) and they knew it. After we were seated, my wife asked me to have a drink. She said, "as long as you don't slam them, you can have a drink". I ordered water with my meal. When we got home, I looked at the liquor cabinet and my stocked beer fridge and closed the door, went to bed.

This morning I feel great. I don't feel guilty. I have no shakes. I feel happy. I don't worry about what I said last night. I am glad that I drove and let everything else have a nice time.

My in-laws are leaving tomorrow, so we are going out again tonight. I suspect that when I order ice tea I will get weird looks again. They all will be drinking in moderation. But, I want to prove to myself that I can get through this weekend, week, month without drinking. Next week is my birthday, it is going to be a huge test. At the end of March I am going to the Florida Keys for vacation. That will be a bigger test. Like what you all said, take it day by day.

Thank you for listening.

Michael

Michael - I really try to avoid giving advice on this forum so I'm just going to tell you what I did. My problem was more advanced than yours but it's still the same problem. After years of trying to quit without making a big deal out of it I finally sat my husband down and explained to him that I know I am an alcoholic and that I can't have just one drink. I signed him up to support me in not drinking at all. I've got almost a month of sobriety in now and some of the things that have helped me are my husband abstaining too (for the time being, I don't expect him to quit forever), staying away from people/places where there will be drinking, checking into this forum and reading/posting at least twice a day. I have finally come to understand that there is no such thing as drinking in moderation for me. If I ever drink again I will get drunk and will have to repeat this whole process - and right now I believe that it just isn't worth it. Drinking does nothing for me - what I used to perceive as pleasure is now just the beginning of pain.

On your birthday you might try not to think of it as a test but rather as giving yourself the huge gift of being sober.

good, great even, keep it up !!!

Way to go!! It will get easier for you to say "NO" the more you make that decision. You may even find that you become less concerned about how other people react! When we start doing something that is new to us, it is also new for other people. They may feel that something has changed and the're unsure how to handle it. Don't sweat it! They will adjust to what you are doing all on their own. Try not to look at difficult situations as tests. Please try to view them as opportunities to practice your daily decision to not drink. i strongly encourage you to attend some meetings, ask someone to sponsor you, and take it from there. Keep it simple & keep coming back!!

Good for you Michael, for staying sober!:You_Rock_ No matter what your long term goals for sobriety, keep your eyes on Today. One day at a time really does work.

:ghug3

Day 5
 

Day 5 -

Feeling great. For the first time in 10 years I got through a weekend without a single drink. For the first time in 10 years, I felt like the weekend was long, not short and flew by. I went to dinner out on Friday and Saturday and was the only one not drinking. I had cravings all weekend but did not give in. This Monday morning I had a clear head, it was a nice feeling. Work is going great today. I like this.

Congratulations!! That first weekend can be a real hurdle. Good for you for making it through it. :c011:

:c011::c011::c011::c011::c011::c011::c011:

Good for you, Michael!! YOU...:You_Rock_

Awesome Michael! Keep it up!

Hope you have a sober and productive day!

:)

It's awesome that your so quickly rediscovering the joy of living!! Don't forget that if you don't take that first drink, anything is possible!! You may even experience more rewarding and greater joys then this if you stay!!