TOPIC: Self Pity - Self Hate - Self Destruction Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholc. By the grace of my HP and people like you here in SR I havent found it necessary to pick up a drink since 8-11-90. For that and you I am truely grateful. Ever been in that "SELF-PITY" mood? Feeling sorry for something you did. Someone you hurt. You start to feel shame and remorse for doing that gosh aweful thing. Remember? What was it? Who was it? It's like touching the same hot burner knowing good and well the darn thing is hot, yet for some reason you forget its hot and you touch it and burn ur hand for the upt teenth time. Right? After all that you begin to hate urself for whatever it was you did. That's called "SELF-HATE" I can't stand myself for hitting that person. Maybe i shouldnt have said that about them. I cant believe i drank or drugged to much and hate that i spent all that money. Or u screwed someones spouse...oops. Hmmmm.....I hate that i did that and now im pizzed off because i am a dishonest person. It festers inside you as it plays in ur mind. It wont let up and it contues to grow more and more. What in the world am i gonna do now.....yeah ill fix u.....ill show u whose boss.....ur not gonna pizz me off any longer. KABOOM..! You explode. You "SELF- DESTRUCT" Causing more harm than good to yourself and others around you. There's nothing so terrible that cant be fixed. And there's always a temporary solution to the problem instead of a permanant one. When i was so far gone 18 yrs ago, i wished i had the knowledge i have today. However it took experience to go thru what i went thru and the wisdom to pass it on to help another person possibly going thru the same situation as I. Thanks for letting me share. |
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