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Chi, I won't rant about how I think you deserve this. Just chill out and relax, and enjoy your party. You know, I think that we don't realize how much "work" it takes to screw up sometimes; someone here (sorry, I forgot who it was :/ ) said that being addicted is like having a part time job. And I agree. When you think about it, it's ridiculous to invest SO much energy on something that simply doesn't make any sense... whatsoever. But it's so easy to get used to that state of constant tension and anxiety, it's necessary to remind ourselves to just let go and laugh for a while. So why not? Especially when you're celebrating your life. It's so cool to hear that you're making new acquaintances. Enjoy that process too, and quit worrying about what your family is thinking, don't second guess their intentions. The point is, they are going to be there. And I think that's the only thing that matters. :hug: |
I have come to relize that also.. Before...On my many failed attempts. I was just existing. Focusing more on how I screwed up. Panicking at every little thing that was wrong. Going crazy thinking I am never going to get myself out of this deep hole I am in. Rushing to make it all better now. Now..I am using my time productively. Not just moping around with my free time. Doing things as simple as cleaning and organising my house. Focusing on TODAY. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next month or next year. And definately not dwelling on yesterday. Whats done is done. When things are wrong or go wrong. I have to remember. Theres nothing I can do to change it. But I can change how it effects me. What I do with it makes all the difference. I can sit and sulk or I can keep doing what I gotta do to keep moving forward. I have learned to slow down. Take it easy a little. Everything takes time. Enjoy the view a little. I am so use to racing through life. That this lesson took a great deal of time to understand. I still get anxious for things to be proper. But really..Theres nothing I can do that will make anything come any faster. Moving fast is when people slip. And I dont mean that in a relapse sense alone. Hurrying through life. I may forget specific details of what I need to do. Critical maintanence issues that need special care. Sorta like building a house. You dont just throw four walls up and a roof. Theres lots of detail in between. How will that house last if you overlook key things like a foundation..supports and maintanence? I am not trying to be a perfectionist by any means. I dont thing there is a such thing. But changing my life..my thoughts..my actions. That takes time..patience and commitment. |
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