Dating for the Newly Sober
 

I have been told that dating the first year is not advised. Because I should be working on myself.
I have been dating a person for a year. Does that mean I have to stop dating this person?
>>>>

Welcome to our recovery community....::wave:

No...it does not.

I did break up with my guy tho to protect my sobriety.
Once I quit drinking....I found we had very little in common.
My new healthy lifestyle was coming between us.

He survived ...I thrives!
:)

Hi and welcome. No major changes in the first year is what is suggested.

I agree with what everyone else said, but, is your significant other using drugs and/or alcohol?

Hello kaybee, welcome to SR!

In my first year of sobriety I found it helpful to have the ability to focus on my recovery without the pressures of being in a relationship. After two years sober I started dating again, it was even difficult at that time but I'm grateful I had some recovery skills under my belt.

I've seen people successfully date in early recovery, and I've seen some disasters. Like Rowan said, it's just a suggestion, you'll discover what works best for you.

does dating feels right? Is the person helping you, or bringing you down?

no one suggests you divorse if your married and get sober...I think the same thing applies....and for me, i only haven't dated in the first year cause i havent been asked :Dance7:

Hi Kaybee....

I was engaged to be married last year... We both were very heavy drinkers. She could out drink me and never complained about hangovers... I started to moderate my drinking, stay home cook. She told me I was boring one night and she was going out with or without me! That is when I said, If you leave to go drinking all night (as I am cooking steaks on the grill) with your friend...leave your key on the way out...and she did, I was 2nd to the booze!

I know now...I cannot date a heavy drinkers...Ever!
Funny thing is...thats all I have ever been with.
I guess because I have been a heavy drinker most of my life....

Hi and welcome. I'm new myself (coming to a close on day 4) and am in a similar situation. I've been dating someone for close to a year and lets just say my very blackout drunk belligerent public dramatic Olympics this past weekend and the thought of losing him is part of why I've made the decision to get sober (for myself is the first reason cause I don't really like publicly embarrassing myself and feeling terrible all the time). but at the end of the day he is also a heavy drinker...not a crazy public embarrassment like I am but a heavy drinker none the less.... and as I progress only time will tell if we will stay together or not. I think what is best is to do what is healthiest and best for you.

I don't think so. I was told that you should avoid any major changes in early sobriety. Just make sure the situation is a healthy one.

:SteprobL:

If your relationship is solid and healthy then it may be a bad thing to stop dating. Any major changes in the first year could also mean breaking up with someone who is good for you.

just my opinion