Dating for the Newly Sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Churchville, NY
Posts: 1
Dating for the Newly Sober
I have been told that dating the first year is not advised. Because I should be working on myself.
I have been dating a person for a year. Does that mean I have to stop dating this person?
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I have been dating a person for a year. Does that mean I have to stop dating this person?
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....:
No...it does not.
I did break up with my guy tho to protect my sobriety.
Once I quit drinking....I found we had very little in common.
My new healthy lifestyle was coming between us.
He survived ...I thrives!
No...it does not.
I did break up with my guy tho to protect my sobriety.
Once I quit drinking....I found we had very little in common.
My new healthy lifestyle was coming between us.
He survived ...I thrives!
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
I agree with what everyone else said, but, is your significant other using drugs and/or alcohol?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
Hello kaybee, welcome to SR!
In my first year of sobriety I found it helpful to have the ability to focus on my recovery without the pressures of being in a relationship. After two years sober I started dating again, it was even difficult at that time but I'm grateful I had some recovery skills under my belt.
I've seen people successfully date in early recovery, and I've seen some disasters. Like Rowan said, it's just a suggestion, you'll discover what works best for you.
In my first year of sobriety I found it helpful to have the ability to focus on my recovery without the pressures of being in a relationship. After two years sober I started dating again, it was even difficult at that time but I'm grateful I had some recovery skills under my belt.
I've seen people successfully date in early recovery, and I've seen some disasters. Like Rowan said, it's just a suggestion, you'll discover what works best for you.
Hi Kaybee....
I was engaged to be married last year... We both were very heavy drinkers. She could out drink me and never complained about hangovers... I started to moderate my drinking, stay home cook. She told me I was boring one night and she was going out with or without me! That is when I said, If you leave to go drinking all night (as I am cooking steaks on the grill) with your friend...leave your key on the way out...and she did, I was 2nd to the booze!
I know now...I cannot date a heavy drinkers...Ever!
Funny thing is...thats all I have ever been with.
I guess because I have been a heavy drinker most of my life....
I was engaged to be married last year... We both were very heavy drinkers. She could out drink me and never complained about hangovers... I started to moderate my drinking, stay home cook. She told me I was boring one night and she was going out with or without me! That is when I said, If you leave to go drinking all night (as I am cooking steaks on the grill) with your friend...leave your key on the way out...and she did, I was 2nd to the booze!
I know now...I cannot date a heavy drinkers...Ever!
Funny thing is...thats all I have ever been with.
I guess because I have been a heavy drinker most of my life....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Mass
Posts: 14
Hi and welcome. I'm new myself (coming to a close on day 4) and am in a similar situation. I've been dating someone for close to a year and lets just say my very blackout drunk belligerent public dramatic Olympics this past weekend and the thought of losing him is part of why I've made the decision to get sober (for myself is the first reason cause I don't really like publicly embarrassing myself and feeling terrible all the time). but at the end of the day he is also a heavy drinker...not a crazy public embarrassment like I am but a heavy drinker none the less.... and as I progress only time will tell if we will stay together or not. I think what is best is to do what is healthiest and best for you.
If your relationship is solid and healthy then it may be a bad thing to stop dating. Any major changes in the first year could also mean breaking up with someone who is good for you.
just my opinion
just my opinion
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