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Sober since Tuesday morning. Hi. I am 42 years old and am a mom to a 5 year old and a wife to a husband for 18 years. I felt I had a lot going for me. I have stayed home to take care of my son and I volunteer at a ranch for abused and neglected horses. There's the cover to the book. The inside goes like this - I have been an alcoholic since the first time I picked up a bottle of beer back in high school. I drank way too much and got sick. I continued to do this into my college years and even after. I stopped drinking and cigarettes while I was pregnant and when my son was a baby. I never smoked again, but the alcohol crept back up and I have been drinking wine daily from 4 pm to bedtime most every night. I rarely got a hang over, but I have plenty of good reasons to become sober. 1. I feel I am demanding death visits my door very soon. 2. My son says "I am scary when I drink wine." Huge reason!!! Guilt. 3. My personality changes and I become VERY depressed. 4. I don't like myself when I wake up. I have not hit some's rock bottom, but I believe mine is just as bad as I want it to get. I was in AA in my early 20's and stayed sober for 1 year. I felt I could handle it after that and drifted back into my old habits. I have told my husband it doesn't matter what scheme my mind makes up, it all starts and ends with that 1st glass. Thanks to this forum I am hoping not to pick up another glass. I was with my Mom visiting for the 1st two days of my sobriety and she was my drinking partner. She had some wine while I was there, but asked if it bothered me. It didn't and I was fine. I couldn't sit there and watch her get wasted and she didn't. I think she was glad when I left so she could return to her normal wine at night. Did I tell you I am in a dark, dark mood. We are going out for fish fry and to the video store for a change of pace since its Friday. I hope to become very involved in this forum and I thank God its here. |
Originally Posted by Horselover
(Post 1773879)
Hi. I am 42 years old and am a mom to a 5 year old and a wife to a husband for 18 years. I felt I had a lot going for me. I have stayed home to take care of my son and I volunteer at a ranch for abused and neglected horses. There's the cover to the book. The inside goes like this - I have been an alcoholic since the first time I picked up a bottle of beer back in high school. I drank way too much and got sick. I continued to do this into my college years and even after. I stopped drinking and cigarettes while I was pregnant and when my son was a baby. I never smoked again, but the alcohol crept back up and I have been drinking wine daily from 4 pm to bedtime most every night. I rarely got a hang over, but I have plenty of good reasons to become sober. 1. I feel I am demanding death visits my door very soon. 2. My son says "I am scary when I drink wine." Huge reason!!! Guilt. 3. My personality changes and I become VERY depressed. 4. I don't like myself when I wake up. I have not hit some's rock bottom, but I believe mine is just as bad as I want it to get. I was in AA in my early 20's and stayed sober for 1 year. I felt I could handle it after that and drifted back into my old habits. I have told my husband it doesn't matter what scheme my mind makes up, it all starts and ends with that 1st glass. Thanks to this forum I am hoping not to pick up another glass. I was with my Mom visiting for the 1st two days of my sobriety and she was my drinking partner. She had some wine while I was there, but asked if it bothered me. It didn't and I was fine. I couldn't sit there and watch her get wasted and she didn't. I think she was glad when I left so she could return to her normal wine at night. Did I tell you I am in a dark, dark mood. We are going out for fish fry and to the video store for a change of pace since its Friday. I hope to become very involved in this forum and I thank God its here. Always was comparing myself when it came to my drinking, my best definition for my alcoholism was that I didn't get into trouble every time I was drinking, but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking. |
Keep coming Back it works if you work it so work itandhttp://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...177-3AFQ1V.gif |
Welcome aboard! Best of luck to you! You will find lots of support and information here. Liberty~ |
Welcome to SR :) |
Good goin lady! Welcome to the forum. There is something for all here. I think you are very strong and wise to come to terms with your drinking. Keep writing and I will keep you in my thoughts. bigredme |
Welcome!!! Glad to have another woman in her prime years around to talk to!!! :ghug3 |
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