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Old 05-16-2008, 03:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hi. I am 42 years old and am a mom to a 5 year old and a wife to a husband for 18 years. I felt I had a lot going for me. I have stayed home to take care of my son and I volunteer at a ranch for abused and neglected horses. There's the cover to the book.

The inside goes like this - I have been an alcoholic since the first time I picked up a bottle of beer back in high school. I drank way too much and got sick. I continued to do this into my college years and even after. I stopped drinking and cigarettes while I was pregnant and when my son was a baby. I never smoked again, but the alcohol crept back up and I have been drinking wine daily from 4 pm to bedtime most every night. I rarely got a hang over, but I have plenty of good reasons to become sober.

1. I feel I am demanding death visits my door very soon.
2. My son says "I am scary when I drink wine." Huge reason!!! Guilt.
3. My personality changes and I become VERY depressed.
4. I don't like myself when I wake up.

I have not hit some's rock bottom, but I believe mine is just as bad as I want it to get. I was in AA in my early 20's and stayed sober for 1 year. I felt I could handle it after that and drifted back into my old habits.

I have told my husband it doesn't matter what scheme my mind makes up, it all starts and ends with that 1st glass.

Thanks to this forum I am hoping not to pick up another glass. I was with my Mom visiting for the 1st two days of my sobriety and she was my drinking partner. She had some wine while I was there, but asked if it bothered me. It didn't and I was fine. I couldn't sit there and watch her get wasted and she didn't. I think she was glad when I left so she could return to her normal wine at night.

Did I tell you I am in a dark, dark mood. We are going out for fish fry and to the video store for a change of pace since its Friday.

I hope to become very involved in this forum and I thank God its here.
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Old 05-16-2008, 03:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
Hi. I am 42 years old and am a mom to a 5 year old and a wife to a husband for 18 years. I felt I had a lot going for me. I have stayed home to take care of my son and I volunteer at a ranch for abused and neglected horses. There's the cover to the book.

The inside goes like this - I have been an alcoholic since the first time I picked up a bottle of beer back in high school. I drank way too much and got sick. I continued to do this into my college years and even after. I stopped drinking and cigarettes while I was pregnant and when my son was a baby. I never smoked again, but the alcohol crept back up and I have been drinking wine daily from 4 pm to bedtime most every night. I rarely got a hang over, but I have plenty of good reasons to become sober.

1. I feel I am demanding death visits my door very soon.
2. My son says "I am scary when I drink wine." Huge reason!!! Guilt.
3. My personality changes and I become VERY depressed.
4. I don't like myself when I wake up.

I have not hit some's rock bottom, but I believe mine is just as bad as I want it to get. I was in AA in my early 20's and stayed sober for 1 year. I felt I could handle it after that and drifted back into my old habits.

I have told my husband it doesn't matter what scheme my mind makes up, it all starts and ends with that 1st glass.

Thanks to this forum I am hoping not to pick up another glass. I was with my Mom visiting for the 1st two days of my sobriety and she was my drinking partner. She had some wine while I was there, but asked if it bothered me. It didn't and I was fine. I couldn't sit there and watch her get wasted and she didn't. I think she was glad when I left so she could return to her normal wine at night.

Did I tell you I am in a dark, dark mood. We are going out for fish fry and to the video store for a change of pace since its Friday.

I hope to become very involved in this forum and I thank God its here.
WELCOME!!!

Always was comparing myself when it came to my drinking, my best definition for my alcoholism was that I didn't get into trouble every time I was drinking, but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking.
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Old 05-16-2008, 03:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Keep coming Back it works if you work it so work itand
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Old 05-16-2008, 03:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome aboard! Best of luck to you! You will find lots of support and information here.


Liberty~
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Old 05-16-2008, 07:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR
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Old 05-16-2008, 07:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Good goin lady! Welcome to the forum. There is something for all here. I think you are very strong and wise to come to terms with your drinking. Keep writing and I will keep you in my thoughts.
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Old 05-16-2008, 07:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome!!! Glad to have another woman in her prime years around to talk to!!!
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