Sober since Tuesday morning.
Hi. I am 42 years old and am a mom to a 5 year old and a wife to a husband for 18 years. I felt I had a lot going for me. I have stayed home to take care of my son and I volunteer at a ranch for abused and neglected horses. There's the cover to the book.
The inside goes like this - I have been an alcoholic since the first time I picked up a bottle of beer back in high school. I drank way too much and got sick. I continued to do this into my college years and even after. I stopped drinking and cigarettes while I was pregnant and when my son was a baby. I never smoked again, but the alcohol crept back up and I have been drinking wine daily from 4 pm to bedtime most every night. I rarely got a hang over, but I have plenty of good reasons to become sober.
1. I feel I am demanding death visits my door very soon.
2. My son says "I am scary when I drink wine." Huge reason!!! Guilt.
3. My personality changes and I become VERY depressed.
4. I don't like myself when I wake up.
I have not hit some's rock bottom, but I believe mine is just as bad as I want it to get. I was in AA in my early 20's and stayed sober for 1 year. I felt I could handle it after that and drifted back into my old habits.
I have told my husband it doesn't matter what scheme my mind makes up, it all starts and ends with that 1st glass.
Thanks to this forum I am hoping not to pick up another glass. I was with my Mom visiting for the 1st two days of my sobriety and she was my drinking partner. She had some wine while I was there, but asked if it bothered me. It didn't and I was fine. I couldn't sit there and watch her get wasted and she didn't. I think she was glad when I left so she could return to her normal wine at night.
Did I tell you I am in a dark, dark mood. We are going out for fish fry and to the video store for a change of pace since its Friday.
I hope to become very involved in this forum and I thank God its here.