Cannot Stop Binge Drinking
 

Hello,

My problem with alcohol is that I cannot stop once I start. If I am out, I drink to get drunk and drink quite a bit. This usually happens every time I go out and I'm so very tired of it. I don't know how to control myself and I get so depressed about everything the next day. I want to stop binge drinking but I can't.

I do not drink every day and I do not ever get an urge to drink during the week. It's just when the weekends roll around and I'm set to go out. It's sad that I cannot control myself and have to quit drinking completely as I think this is the only way to stop. I don't know what else to do. If anyone else has a similar problem such as mine, I would really like to hear from you. Should I see a doctor or perhaps AA? Am I someone who would benefit from AA? Why can't I stop?

Hi Jamsil,
Your drinking sounds a lot like mine. I put off going to AA for years but eventually the drinking had spread to almost every day of the week. I staggered to AA and have been there ever since...it's a good way of life. Try it and I think you'll agree. My life has improved immeasurably. It was the best thing I ever did. I hope you give it a shot - let us know.
Mike

jamsil, welcome to the SR family!

jam dont go out!

jam yes!
yes!
yes!, ya might be one of us, if one drink leads to never enough!

good wishes jamsil

rz

Hi and welcome.

Losing control on the weekends is how most people start having problems with their drinking. At least that's what happened to me. After a while you start drinking one, and then two nights in the week and in the end every day. I'm not saying that's nessesarily going to happen to you, but that's a very common route.

You could try to stop for thirty days and see how that goes. If you have trouble doing that, or if you have already tried and failed, then you probably need some help. If you are already suffering because of your drinking, you have to ask yourself why you keep doing it.

You can get a lot of support and advice on this forum and there are many people here who got sober with the help of AA. You don't have to chose between AA and your doctor, I'm sure both can help you and give you a better idea of how to deal with your drinking problem.

Best wishes,
Mandarina

Welcome jamsil I'd definately check in with your doctor, glad you found us.

Welcome Jamsil to SR. I think most here will be familiar with your situation. I started off binge drinking at the weekends and eventually it became all the time. It seems unfair to see others enjoying a few drinks and being in control but when you yourself can't control it then it has to be total abstinance. Best wishes in the action you take.

Depression is why I began AA.
By around 3 months of abstinance....
my depression had vanished.

I did not have clinical depression
but situational.

Welcome to SR!
:)

Hi Jamsil
My drinking problems began with weekend binge drinking too. It took a long while but eventually I found myself drinking every day.
If you think you have a problem you have done the right thing to address it now. Alcoholism does progress and the longer you leave it the harder it becomes to deal with.
Welcome to the forum and good luck in finding the right path.

Oct

Welcome Jamsil, lots of good advice here.

I'm glad you found us.

I have a similar problem to yours its called terminal uniqueness. My problem with alcohol is that I’m an alcoholic. I have an allergy that when ever I put alcohol into my system it triggers a allergy that craves more of the same. I just can’t have a little alcohol, alcohol in any amount sets this terrible cycle in motion. Step over to the nearest bar room and say your going to just have one. Try it more than once!!!!

I used to think alcoholics were dirty people who lived in alleys and dumpster’s people who walked around with bottles and paper bags not any more. I am truly sorry this is happening to you and I wish you luck in the search for a solution. My search took me to AA and today I no longer have to binge drink or drink period, don’t want or need to.

Welcome. It sounds like my problem. I would be fine for 5 days then when the weekends come I would drink until monday. I would feel like crap for a couple days then feel fine and do the cycle again. The cycle went on for years (I am 27) I have found out that it isn't alright. At first I thought hey it's normal I work hard I should party hard, then I told myself that it isn't alright. I won't be the man that will be remembered as great if I am boozing all the time. I can't offer much advice as this is week 7 of my sobriety but if your are serious I would take every step nessessary. Don't let anyone tell you that it's no big deal because if you think it is serious than it is.

Once I started, I couldn't stop.... this was what happened to me also. If I was out, and had 3-4 drinks and then people wanted to leave and stop drinking I would physically feel sick. I COULD NOT stop once I started. Too bad I started every day, and drank until I fell asleep. Not being able to stop is a hallmark symptom of an alcoholic, and you will find plenty of people in AA who didn't drink every day, but once they started drinking it was off to the races.

AA really was not what I thought it was going to be. I was expecting bums and losers, and it stopped me from going to the rooms for a long time. My perception couldn't have been further from the truth. People in the rooms have something I have wanted for sooo damn long, and they go out of their way to help me get it, for free. When I say thank you for the help, they say "no, thank you for the help".

There was a guy who was at a meeting a few nights back and he said he told someone he was in AA, and the guy replied "Why are you in AA? You don't even drink..."

A good medical checkup couldn't hurt, and be honest with the doc about your binging. Anyone who is having a problem with alcohol would benefit from AA...it certainly can't hurt. You can't stop because once you ingest the alcohol you set up the physical need for the drug. You are a "periodic", as opposed to a "daily"...which will probably happen eventually, if you don't quit drinking.

Quote:

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There was a guy who was at a meeting a few nights back and he said he told someone he was in AA, and the guy replied "Why are you in AA? You don't even drink..."

---

That's funny!!!

Hi Jamsil; My drinking started the same as yours. I started drinking when I went out, and once I started, I didn't stop. For a long time it was that way, I'd only drink when I went out. Then I started drinking before I went out, and after I got home, drinking all night. Then, as the years passed, I got older and had more responsibilities and didn't go out as often, so instead I started drinking at home. Again only on weekends, but soon that too changed into weekdays. And again...the years went on and my drinking got worse and worse. I am 37 and been drinking for 20 years. I have blacked out since I started drinking. I've hit so many bottoms I've lost count. And here I am, on day 2 of my latest attempt at sobriety. Because I don't drink every day I always think next time I will be able to control myself. But the truth is, if I plan on having one, I have a hundred. If there is booze in the house, I drink till I'm toast. Nothing and no-one can make me stop once I start.
My drinking patterns changed over the years, chances are, yours will too. Hopefully you can make a change now, before you too spend 20 years proving to yourself you can't stop.

Sounds just like me. Just stop completely while it's still a choice. The truth is that you are creating a routine dependence on alcohol by drinking every time you go out to have fun... It will continue to get worse and worse ff you don't stop now! (it was getting there for me).

Get yourself off the poison completely and you will soon be able to go out and have fun on the weekends without the aid of it. With time it will eventually come to the point where you don't desire or even think about drinking. You will be a happier person and it will be REAL. Not a lie, Not some synthetic thing that lasts for a night and you feel miserable the next day/few days. Binge drinking would affect me for multiple days after and not just that but who I am as a person. the ability to wake up and feel fresh and healthy and looking forward to the day without anxiety is priceless.

Stopping completely because you cannot control your binge drinking is NOT "SAD" (as you say). It's without a doubt the wisest thing you can possibly do.

It isn't easy. Everyone here knows this.

For me, it is important to keep the future in mind. Is one night of drinking really worth it for misery the next, accompanied by another weak of anxiety until my next drink? Is it worth it to throw away my ability to learn and remember things? Do I really want to deplete my body of nutrients that keep me healthy and feeling good? Do I want to continue feeling symptoms of depression? And so on...

I went to a party last night and reminded myself of all those things when I needed to. I thought to myself, "well, just one or 2 won't hurt". But I know it doesn't work that way. 1 soon turns into 10. Then I reminded myself that drinking is fake and a lie and that I will never get better if I continue. I enjoyed myself and had a good time. I did not drink and undoubtedly had far more meaningful conversations than I normally would have. I was able to wake up today at 8am and go running. I feel excellent today. Was it worth it not to drink? F U C K YES. haha :) With all honesty, right after I first stopped drinking it was a lot harder to go out and have a good time. It got harder before it got better. That's beginning to change though the longer I go.

Wouldn't it be great to go through life making nothing but wise decisions? Now realistically I know that's not always possible. However, this is one case where you do have the power to assess your situation and make the correct choice.

Don't lose focus.

Hello Jamsil
 

I know exactly how u are feeling.
I too had a serious problem with that. The way you described your drinking is was the same thing for me. I'll tell u a quick story....
I was binge drinking one night with friends. I was betrayed and almost raped by someone I trusted. The friends that I was drinking with were no help. They actually put the blame on ME!! After that incident I totally cut off all ties with those so-called friends. I made new friends and have not had that problem again. Sometimes it's hard for us to see that the people around us or the crowd we hang out with really does have a big influence on us.

The first step is to express to your friends that u do not want to drink when u go out. If they are supportive, then they are true friends. If they are not, then they are not looking out for you and ARE NOT your friends.

You do have to stop drinking all together though.
The reason is because one drink always leads to another and then another. Cut it out because you can not tell yourself, "I'll just have one." I know this doesn't work cause I tried it too. Once you are out with friends and see them drinking and then it starts.



But don't get me wrong. Your friends probably differ from that twisted crowd I mentioned earlier in my story. I just want to make it a point that there are some crowds better than others in situations like this.

Best of luck to you!!

:bday8

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. I know I'm not alone and it comforts me.

Hi Jamsil; You're not alone. We're all here because we share the same struggle. I find the support that I get here to be a big help right now in my sobriety. I am only on day 4 (again) and I found this site on day 1. Everyones' support has helped me stay focused on getting another day of sobriety. Good for you for sticking around!

Jamsil I was 12 when I had my first drink, the first thing I wanted when I was drinking that first drink was another one! When I had the second one my thoughts were on the third, yes I know where you are coming from.

The hardest thing for me to learn was it was not the 5th drink nor the 10th one that got me drunk, it was that first drink!!!!!

I drank for 40 years, in the beginning it was a blast, I had a lot of fun and was lucky enough not to get into much trouble. I spent years drinking just like you have described, over the years it went from only weekends to a few days during the week and weekends, to every day! At around the 30 year point I would decide to "Control" my drinking or quit! I tried this for 5 years until finally drinking was no longer a choice for me, I had to drink every day to feel normal and to keep bad things from happening to me!!!

The last 5 years of my drinking were miserable, I drank when I did not want to drink! I was developing problems on the home front due to my drinking and I had no control over my drinking.

After 40 years of drinking and 10 years of trying to stop drinking my way I finally surrendered! Alcohol had beaten me, it owned me!!!! I had a moment of clarity, I saw that if I did not find a way to quit drinking in less then a year everything important in my life would be gone................... except the bottle................ and a slow alcoholic death!

I was lost and had no idea what to do, I knew my way did not work so I called my insurance companies drug & alcohol abuse hotline, they lined me up with a specialist, I told him the whole truth about my drinking, he told me I needed to be medically detoxed.

In detox they told me that if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meeting in 90 days and get a sponsor!

I went to over 90 AA meeting in 90 days and get a sponsor, in AA they told me that if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to work the steps with my sponsor.

I worked the steps with my sponsor, today I am free, free of the need to drink & free of self! I am happier then I have been in over 30 years.

Will AA help you? Well if one wants to stop drinking I can tell you it sure will not hurt! It saved my life, I am sure things will be easier for you because you are wiser then I was, I was 52 when I decided I wanted to learn how to live life on lifes terms and not alcohols!

AA for most recovered alcoholics was the last house on the block of recovery.

Hi,

Welcome to SR...

So glad you found us and keep posting...

:ghug

hi Jamsil, good to see you again :)

Welcome
 

Hi Jamsil, I have the same problem you have. Once I start drinking I can't stop until I pass out. The key for me is not to take that first drink. I pray every morning and say the Serenity Prayer as many times a day as necessary. I believe AA will help you; they have helped me tremendouly. I remember when I first started AA I heard a man say "Sometimes the only thing standing between me and that first drink is my HP" I didn't understand what he meant then, but I sure do now. GH :)

Jasmil,

I'm right there with you and all the others. I'm also just getting started and plan on using this and every method possible to stay sober. I'm ready to remember my life and enjoy everything about it. Understandably, I have a long road ahead of me and look forward to talking with everyone on here.

Talk soon,

Nick

Hi.... I read your post and it was almost like reading something i had wrote myself... I have went thru the same thing. Ive tried to moderate, control, or limit my drinking, and it just doesnt work... I could tell you some stories and what drinking has caused in my life. If your wanting to share, give me a reply. I started drinking at around 13, and I am now almost 33. I still battle this addiction. Its only been since saturday since my last drink, so not even a week. but its a start... take it day by day, and let the temptation of "its the weekend" give you reason to drink...thats when i did most of my bingeing because i would be good during the week then friday after work i would start drinking and stay drunk till sunday afternoon, sobering up and suffering a hangover and start work monday morning like a normal person... Its a powerful and cunning addiction. You got to know you are stronger than the disease, and even tho you are powerless over alcohol you can overcome it with strength, will power, and preseverence!!!

Hi.... I read your post and it was almost like reading something i had wrote myself... I have went thru the same thing. Ive tried to moderate, control, or limit my drinking, and it just doesnt work... I could tell you some stories and what drinking has caused in my life. If your wanting to share, give me a reply. I started drinking at around 13, and I am now almost 33. I still battle this addiction. Its only been since saturday since my last drink, so not even a week. but its a start... take it day by day, and DONT let the temptation of "its the weekend" give you reason to drink...thats when i did most of my bingeing because i would be good during the week then friday after work i would start drinking and stay drunk till sunday afternoon, sobering up and suffering a hangover and start work monday morning like a normal person... Its a powerful and cunning addiction. You got to know you are stronger than the disease, and even tho you are powerless over alcohol you can overcome it with strength, will power, and preseverence!!!

welcome Jamsil!
 

I too (like all the rest of us) can appreciate your frustration. For me, I have to break my impulsivity (think through the drink...thanks, Sonny). I KNOW that if I drink, I WILL get drunk, have an awful night's sleep, agonize if I have pushed my husband over the edge "this time", squirm over what I said/did (I blackout), feel physically ill the next day and suffer self-hatred, remorse and shame. All for what? A half hour at most of a buzz b4 the compulsion sets in? IF I can step in like this, b4 I take that first sip, I have a chance to beat the beast this time. It hasn't always worked for me (obviously...I'm here), but it's one of my "tools". Best of luck. We're all in this together!:ghug3

hello, i am a bad binge drinker, im 27. I can go about 5 days without a drink, but then i feel really restless and nothing will stop me from going to the pub and getting smashed. I have lived in a pub since i was 8, because my parents owned 2 pubs. My dad died from liver cancer, he was a friday night binge drinker. (every fri nite) I have lost my licence twice, been thrown in jail overnight for abusing two police officers, and have spewed up in every toilet in every job i have ever had. My whole family drinks to excess, including uncles, cousins etc. My friends drink to excess. I am just surrounded by binge drinkers. I am constantly having days off because i dont want to go to work wreaking of alcohol. My relationship is suffering, my boyfriend is a good guy and is probably the only person i hang with who doesnt binge. I am on day one of giving up for a year, i just want to break the pattern, it will be very very hard. But i am just so happy when i dont drink for a while, mentally and physically happy and i save money. But when i am hungover i get so very depressed and cant mentally handle anything. Good to hear all of your stories.