Does your spouse or partner drink?
 

My husband doesn't have a drinking problem. I am 10 days sober, so to be supportive, he is not drinking either. But I don't think he intends to never drink again. I'm sure once he feels I'm "stable" he'll have a glass of wine when we go out to dinner, or a margarita on vacation. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Right now it's helping that he isn't drinking either. Do your spouses drink, and does it bother you?

Mine doesn't. He stopped drinking a year before I did.

My husband doesn't have a drinking problem but he stopped drinking when I did and has never gone back, even when he's out alone. Truth be told, I put him off so much with my drinking, he can't even stand the sight of alcohol.

But, I am VERY glad it's this way. We never have alcohol in the house.

My 3rd wife (the other 2 were drinkers too) is in long term recovery as well, it's important to have the support of your spouse but of the utmost importance is your/our sobriety regardless of our partners choice...

I stopped completely when my husband was recovering. We stopped for 6 months. Now Im the one with the problem. I hope he stops drinking to support me this time.

Hi Laura, My husband does not have a drinking problem and he stopped with me when I quit in August. Just about two weeks ago I told him I didn't mind if he drank, and he does now have an occasional beer. I never drank beer, I don't even like the smell of it, and that's all he ever drinks, so that makes it easy. But, everyone is individual, so make sure to tell him if you find yourself bothered by it if he does choose to drink again. Best wishes, J

My wife still drinks but she is a responsible drinker and only has 1 or 2 when she does, it doesn't bother me at all, my big vice was beer anyway and she hates beer. In the house she doesn't drink at all so it's all good.

I drank a little around my exabf, he got mad if i didn't have anything because then he didn't feel like it was a normal night out and would say that i wasn't the one with the problem. When he started AA i told him i would quit but he didn't want me to. I rarely did drink around him out of respect for his sobriety but he drank O'douls so who knows what's right!!!

Yes, my wife has a drinking problem. So do I, thus my membership here. Any tips for me quitting when she doesn't plan on it? Neither of us are wreckless. Both great parents and best friends. I just feel it is time to move past this (drinking nightly).

I know I can't control anyone other than myself. I'm just looking for ideas to help myself cope while she is still drinking.

My wife is sober for 41 days. She did 31 inpatient, and she's been to a meeting every day since coming home. She's working hard, committed to doing 90 in 90. There's no way I'm going to drink in her presence or let her smell it on me for at least a year, maybe never if that's what she wants. It's the least I can do for her.

My fiance quit smoking pot when I got clean.He never once whined about it, just stopped.I was amazed because he did it for many years.He has a respectable career and went to work everyday, it was never a problem.He still drinks socially, and at first, it bothered me.I had to learn that I am the one with the addiction, not him.He has been nothing but patient and kind during my use and recovery.I feel I owe him not to bring up the alcohol, ever.I don't know any other man who would ever give up smoking pot for the woman he loved, and that was all on his own.I feel blessed that he respects me enough to do that.That is enough for me.I know my home is safe and free of substance.

Yes. My husband just now got his license back after his THIRD DUI...it has been years of punishment and alchol safety classes...and he still drinks at home although never drives anymore, he learned his lesson about that.

He has cut back substantially and he of all people gave me a lecture about my last binge (which is what brought me here.) Now he drinks like 3 to 8 beers per day, although some days he doesn't drink at all. I am the type who drank like 2-4 beers daily, sometimes not at all but then I go on big binges. I use the past tense because this last rock-bottom binge has made me really want to quit.

My wife doesn't drink much.She goes out with friends occasionally and sinks a few, which i don't begrudge.At home she has a bottle of vodka which has been around for months and she might have the odd drop once every few weeks.Fortunately i knocked spirits on the head donkeys years ago,and have only been a beer drinker so this isn't any temptation to me.

http://img256.echo.cx/img256/1869/ditto8pi.gif

my wife drinks but not much around me and very rarely elsewhere, shes good not to drink and doesnt have a problem with it....shopping on the other hand...:rof

The truth is that if you are an alcohoilic and you work the steps IT IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM, so it does not matter who drinks or does not drink- i live with 2 people who drink ALOT wasted everynight- IT IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM FOR ME and it would be selfish of me to go to them and ask them not to drink cause i am the one with the problem-SELFISHNESS AND SELF-CENTEREDNESS IS THE ROOT OF OUR PROBLEM:) SO WORK THE PROGRAM IT WORKS -IF YOU WORK IT

Hi Mae. I didn't actually ask my husband not to drink around me- he chooses not to do so in show of support and I love him for it. I'm sure a time will come when he'll have a glass of wine with dinner, and I'm sure it won't bother me. But in the beginning stages of sobriety, it can be helpful not to have alcohol paraded around you all the time.

You and your wife sound so much like me and my husband. I am trying to quit and my husband dosen't seem to want to.We aren't wreckless either. Same as you both great parents and my husband is my best friend. But I am sick of drinking nightly also. Maybe we can help each other.I would also like ideas of how to cope with your spouse still drinking. I think it is much more difficult with alcohol still in the house. I have been trying so hard but my husband doesn't seem to think there is a problem. I do and I want to quit. I will still keep trying one day at a time.

My husband has an alcohol problem and I do not. I prefer not to drink, I wanted to experience life with my husband sober, both of us. He does the same for me with my drug problem. I like the way we are together sober and life is more fuller and a whole lot happier. Are marriage is not perfect just like anyone elses marriage, but i found we can deal with anything now, because A and D was our biggest problem. The most helpful thing you can do, talk to you spouce and share yours' feelings. take care

I dont drink never did
 

but my husband does, I need to get out 10 years living with this I cant take it anymore

Hi hunybee, welcome to our recovery community.

Please feel free to visit our Friends and Families of Alcoholics and/or Substance Abuse forums, also located on this website. You're in the right place. :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

We're turning our bar into a icecream/cafe parlor. It should be fun, And find it both interesting in making diffent (fancy caffeine introduced) drinks.

the big book says...
I never asked nor expect my wife to stop drinking. She asked me at one point if I minded and I said no. The thing for me was that I didn't want to hide from it. If I did I was afraid when it found me I wouldn't resist it.

psalm 23... I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Hello similar
 

Yes maybe we can help each other! It looks like you're a newer poster like myself. I also believe you understand the intent of my message. I thought I clearly stated that I don't want to change anyone else (my wife). I'm looking for ideas for me to cope with my own cravings while she is in the process of drinking. Meaning ideas of things to do around the house, hobbies, anything that has helped others to occupy their time, particulary early on in the recovery process. We really enjoy watching certain educational television shows together and she'll have a bottle of wine while she does that. She also constantly asks, are you mad because I'm doing this? And most certainly I am not and politely and truthfully tell her no. But someone please share some ideas with me and Destinee1 as to things we could do, that have worked for you, to develop other interests. In this instance I am talking about specifically within the home.

Thanks every one!

T

My wife was 11 years sober in AA when I met her. I had two years - she 13th stepped me. I was a mere babe in the woods at the time - a helpless neophyte taken in by the treachery of a 13th stepping sultry seductress. Yeah, right.That was almost 9 years ago.. surprisingly I haven't yet driven her to drink! Life has never been better.
Mike

I can't really give you advice becuase i don't know you
and i don't know your wife.

You pretty much wrote your own answer.
that's it...hobbies, stuff to do around the house,
living your life. So your life is not certered around
your drinking or her's

With my agf it's a death wish to have alcohol or
drugs in the house. Even her percibtion drugs
cuz side effect or unmanageablities in her after a
while.

Even in my marriage it nevered worked.
We both social drink and for the most part
it was fun for the longest time...until it caught
up with us. Because alcohol is a depresent
coupled with the monthly visitor. She has guilt
trip enough as it is when turned into a nagging B.
Always after the fact thou...on a good month...i run
like hell.lol So we had issues as such to handle.
Some women suffers more than others....i got sympathy pains.lol
Mix with alcohol or drugs it was a accident waiting to happen.
Not if...just when...But that's my ex-wife.
We were young and didn't even have a lot of emotional
baggage at that young of age.

Okay..here's a simple question ?
How important is it ?
It's not an anwer anyone can give you.
But it's like playing russain rolette.
If you're wife is not an alki..then she should be able
to stop drinking period..becuase your marriage is
worth more than a Buzz. There millions of things
to do aside from drinking in life. and drinking wouln't
be a priority to her. it's something she can take or leave.
So leaving it wouldn't be a big deal.
That's just my OPINION...
Why ??..becuase I'm byess with my experince.