LauraSFO1

My husband doesn't have a drinking problem. I am 10 days sober, so to be supportive, he is not drinking either. But I don't think he intends to never drink again. I'm sure once he feels I'm "stable" he'll have a glass of wine when we go out to dinner, or a margarita on vacation. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Right now it's helping that he isn't drinking either. Do your spouses drink, and does it bother you?

gypsytears

Mine doesn't. He stopped drinking a year before I did.

Anna

My husband doesn't have a drinking problem but he stopped drinking when I did and has never gone back, even when he's out alone. Truth be told, I put him off so much with my drinking, he can't even stand the sight of alcohol.

But, I am VERY glad it's this way. We never have alcohol in the house.

swmnkdinthervr

My 3rd wife (the other 2 were drinkers too) is in long term recovery as well, it's important to have the support of your spouse but of the utmost importance is your/our sobriety regardless of our partners choice...

juicyfruit

I stopped completely when my husband was recovering. We stopped for 6 months. Now Im the one with the problem. I hope he stops drinking to support me this time.

Jomey

Hi Laura, My husband does not have a drinking problem and he stopped with me when I quit in August. Just about two weeks ago I told him I didn't mind if he drank, and he does now have an occasional beer. I never drank beer, I don't even like the smell of it, and that's all he ever drinks, so that makes it easy. But, everyone is individual, so make sure to tell him if you find yourself bothered by it if he does choose to drink again. Best wishes, J

MyGraySkies

My husband quit drinking when I went into detox and he removed all the alcohol from our home. My best friend and her husband don't drink around me at all either, even in their own home, which I would have never asked them to do but they do it to be supportive. My best friend makes us killer frappucinos when we're at her house, and her hubby drinks energy drinks when we're over so we get to watch him stay jacked up on way too much caffeine. lol

RDKA

My wife still drinks but she is a responsible drinker and only has 1 or 2 when she does, it doesn't bother me at all, my big vice was beer anyway and she hates beer. In the house she doesn't drink at all so it's all good.

hbb

I drank a little around my exabf, he got mad if i didn't have anything because then he didn't feel like it was a normal night out and would say that i wasn't the one with the problem. When he started AA i told him i would quit but he didn't want me to. I rarely did drink around him out of respect for his sobriety but he drank O'douls so who knows what's right!!!

pete7131

Yes, my wife has a drinking problem. So do I, thus my membership here. Any tips for me quitting when she doesn't plan on it? Neither of us are wreckless. Both great parents and best friends. I just feel it is time to move past this (drinking nightly).

I know I can't control anyone other than myself. I'm just looking for ideas to help myself cope while she is still drinking.

c.coyle

My wife is sober for 41 days. She did 31 inpatient, and she's been to a meeting every day since coming home. She's working hard, committed to doing 90 in 90. There's no way I'm going to drink in her presence or let her smell it on me for at least a year, maybe never if that's what she wants. It's the least I can do for her.

hairgirl

My fiance quit smoking pot when I got clean.He never once whined about it, just stopped.I was amazed because he did it for many years.He has a respectable career and went to work everyday, it was never a problem.He still drinks socially, and at first, it bothered me.I had to learn that I am the one with the addiction, not him.He has been nothing but patient and kind during my use and recovery.I feel I owe him not to bring up the alcohol, ever.I don't know any other man who would ever give up smoking pot for the woman he loved, and that was all on his own.I feel blessed that he respects me enough to do that.That is enough for me.I know my home is safe and free of substance.

aharris77

Yes. My husband just now got his license back after his THIRD DUI...it has been years of punishment and alchol safety classes...and he still drinks at home although never drives anymore, he learned his lesson about that.

He has cut back substantially and he of all people gave me a lecture about my last binge (which is what brought me here.) Now he drinks like 3 to 8 beers per day, although some days he doesn't drink at all. I am the type who drank like 2-4 beers daily, sometimes not at all but then I go on big binges. I use the past tense because this last rock-bottom binge has made me really want to quit.

dave47

My wife doesn't drink much.She goes out with friends occasionally and sinks a few, which i don't begrudge.At home she has a bottle of vodka which has been around for months and she might have the odd drop once every few weeks.Fortunately i knocked spirits on the head donkeys years ago,and have only been a beer drinker so this isn't any temptation to me.

citychick

Mr H

my wife drinks but not much around me and very rarely elsewhere, shes good not to drink and doesnt have a problem with it....shopping on the other hand...:rof

mae164

The truth is that if you are an alcohoilic and you work the steps IT IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM, so it does not matter who drinks or does not drink- i live with 2 people who drink ALOT wasted everynight- IT IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM FOR ME and it would be selfish of me to go to them and ask them not to drink cause i am the one with the problem-SELFISHNESS AND SELF-CENTEREDNESS IS THE ROOT OF OUR PROBLEM SO WORK THE PROGRAM IT WORKS -IF YOU WORK IT

LauraSFO1

Hi Mae. I didn't actually ask my husband not to drink around me- he chooses not to do so in show of support and I love him for it. I'm sure a time will come when he'll have a glass of wine with dinner, and I'm sure it won't bother me. But in the beginning stages of sobriety, it can be helpful not to have alcohol paraded around you all the time.

Destinee1

You and your wife sound so much like me and my husband. I am trying to quit and my husband dosen't seem to want to.We aren't wreckless either. Same as you both great parents and my husband is my best friend. But I am sick of drinking nightly also. Maybe we can help each other.I would also like ideas of how to cope with your spouse still drinking. I think it is much more difficult with alcohol still in the house. I have been trying so hard but my husband doesn't seem to think there is a problem. I do and I want to quit. I will still keep trying one day at a time.

redbear

My husband has an alcohol problem and I do not. I prefer not to drink, I wanted to experience life with my husband sober, both of us. He does the same for me with my drug problem. I like the way we are together sober and life is more fuller and a whole lot happier. Are marriage is not perfect just like anyone elses marriage, but i found we can deal with anything now, because A and D was our biggest problem. The most helpful thing you can do, talk to you spouce and share yours' feelings. take care