Slip or Relapse.....
 

When I was in Aftercare, my counselor told me there was a difference between a "slip" and a "relapse"...a "slip" being a momentary, short-lived, isolated intake of alcohol...where-as a "relapse" was more prolonged, etc..

My question: Does a sip of Beer or Wine constitute a relapse and therefore you have to start your "sobriety" count all over???Does it count as a "slip" and you don't have to start all over ( or do you)???

Ah, semantics......:jail

In my opinion, alcohol is alcohol and it doesn't matter how much or what kind.

But, of course, your sobriety date is a date you need to be comfortable with. That's all that counts,

I don't know what I would call it, but I know that if I had a sip of alcohol, and it was intentional, I would change my sobriety date.

Hi,

I agree with Anna...

A slip is relapse, as relapse is a slip....It doesn't matter...You got off the path of sobriety...:Thinkingo

I am with Rowan, if I chose to have even a sip of wine I would change my sobriety date, how ever if I picked some ones drink by mistake and realized the mistake right away I would not change it. When people in AA speak of their sobriety date it is in regards to thier last drink or first day without a drink.

Slip versus relapse..... just my opinion, but a slip is a mini relapse, anything from a sip to a one night drunk, anything beyond that is a relapse, just my opinion and nothing more.

Remember my opinion and $1.50 may get you or me a cup of coffee.

it has never been my daughter's experience to just have a "sip" or a "few drinks". she drinks the whole bottle and goes out and buys cocaine. so this is hard for me to relate to...

Let's really Keep It Simple: A "slip" is accidental, a "relapse" is intentional...the latter requires the good old humble sobriety date change.

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Remember my opinion and $1.50 may get you or me a cup of coffee.

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Guess you don't patronize Starbucks, Taz. Nothing but "top shelf" for this alcoholic! :c033:

Hi Jersey Nonny,

I have not heard a slip is accidental...How can this be???

I don't mean to sound uneducated about addiction but I don't understand...::a108:

Sobriety
Loses
Its
Priority

And while we could debate this back and forth endlessly, IMO any intake of an alcoholic beverage requires a change in sobriety date.

It dosent matter about a count to anyone but yourself.No matter how long you have if you are an alcoholic like me you will always be one drink away from where you were.I dont have slips I have falls.you are the only one who has to live with your sober date.

i am not sure what slip means? I agree with all of them, if it was an accident and you picked up a drink not knowing what is was I can see that as a slip. If you picked up the drink knowing what it was i would have to say that would be a relapse. Being an alchy myself I try to avoid any drink that is not mine. We all have done it and is hard. Counting sober days well that is all on you, you were there and you know what happened. You have to live with the dates. Please no matter what the circumstance dont get down on yourself, whether it is it is and now it over and keep going. keep posting. Goodluck:praying

I have been sober for...hmmm.....well, the last time I was drunk was August 13, 2007, but I did intentionally have some champagne for my wedding anniversary in early October....so I chose to change my sobriety date to the October date, but I do not let the fact that I "slipped" and chose to drink affect my feeling about my overall recovery. Someone said to me here and also at a meeting something along these lines:" Ok, you slipped. You got up the next day, faced the "music", hit a meeting and got on with recovery." I was really down on myself until I had a friend here tell me that even thought I made a mistake and drank that one evening, I was still miles ahead of where I had been in August when I first got sober, and all was not lost because of my one bad choice. So, I guess, whatever you choose to say your sobriety date is, just don't let yourself feel that you "lost" sober time because you drank once.

A slip is when you step on a wet spot (alcohol or otherwise) and loose your footing. If you decide to drink, a sip or a gallon; call it what it is, a "decision" to imbibe alcohol.

You don't have to change your sobriety date if you have decided to start rationalizing your behavior to yourself. In fact if just being able to tell others about your "factious" date is important, count each real sober day as two and you will end up being "twice" as sober.

Point is a sobriety date belongs just to you. It is an intensely personal matter and you should be able to look yourself in the eye and know the truth.

SIMPLE AS THAT!

Jon

The word Relapse is found in the Big Book 5 times,

Slip is mentioned 2 times.

There is no real distinction as far as I can tell by reading the contexts.


Interesting to note that under Slip we find Lapse

and under relapse we find to slip

In my opinion, any distinction is personal, and not based in fact or research.

From Webster:

Pronunciation:
\ˈslip\
Inflected Form(s):
slipped; slip·ping
Etymology:
Middle English slippen, from Middle Dutch or Middle Low German; akin to Middle High German slipfen to slide, Old High German slīfan to smooth, and perhaps to Greek olibros slippery
Date:
14th century

: to fall into error or fault : lapse




Main Entry:
1re·lapse Listen to the pronunciation of 1relapse Listen to the pronunciation of 1relapse
Pronunciation:
\ri-ˈlaps, ˈrē-ˌ\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Medieval Latin relapsus, from Latin relabi to slide back, from re- + labi to slide — more at sleep
Date:
15th century

1 : the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding

2 : a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement

3 : to slip or fall back into a former worse state

One other thing.

The worst thing that could possibly happen is this:

Nothing.

There is a certain frame of mind (and I have been there many times) where I would try a little sip of something, perhaps from someone else's drink, and nothing terrible would happen.

This would fuel my reasoning that "maybe I could have just one".

Within a week I would be passing out drunk again.

Please be aware of your possible frame of mind here.

Blessings,

Ted

such a great question... is it like asking if I only had a little sex am I still a virgin?

or is it more complicated? I don't know...

ok my 2 cents... and who am I anyways?
I would say a little sip isn't a slip. For me it has always been once I start to feel it the race is on... so one tiny sip wouldn't cause me to become unpredictable. However! HOWEVER! I know one sip could lead to two and well how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?

And on that note I am not sure one sip wouldn't cause me to loose control. I look at it like this... if you put one bullet in the gun and spin the barrel and pull the trigger and you don't shoot yourself in the head it doesn't mean it won't happen the next time you pull the trigger.

You decide for yourself don't let me tell you what to do but I would say no way for me... it aint worth it... No way I am testing that theory.

slip/relapse its all a part of recovery. Brush yourself of and move forward.

I never knew how to sip anyway I just guzzled and took pills and hit up and then collapsed, my DOC was MORE... what a life NOT!

Hey Debaucher, I am a little bit of a virgin, or is that a little virgin or maybe .... :D


Kevin

So what's the deal? We don't want to make anyone feel bad so we let them call it a "Slip"?
That is a sugarcoated way of saying they made a conscious decision to drink if you ask me.
Dismissing any intentional drinking as a "Slip" and offering them a prayer is granting permission to do it again with our blessing.

Interesting read. I LOVE Jfanagle's answer.

Point too - one to ponder, whether rationalizing or not -

If an alcoholic doesn't get honest - an alcoholic doesn't get sober.

The only drink we have any control over - is that first one.
It's not a contest to say,
"I've got this much time' or 'I'm going on that much time' -
And at the same time - us alcoholics have so very LITTLE
when we look at it ... so little that we've actually EARNED ...
when we DO accumulate days - we're proud of it.
As well we should be.

Lying is lying is lying.
That's pretty much it, isn't it?

To thine own self be true...

xxoo, zip

Specifics of slip versus relapse.
 

When I was about four months "dry"...looking back, I'm reluctant to even call it "sober"...let's just say I quit drinking for four months...I deliberately poured a drink and drank it! It was by no stretch of the imagination a "slip"...I knew what I was doing, and I did it. After getting out of detox, I very humbly asked the secretary of my group to change my sobriety date, and went on from there.

About a month later, just before Christmas, I took a bite of holiday fruitcake. It had been soaked in liquor, and I panicked. I immediately called my sponsor who explained that would not be considered a "relapse", since it was purely accidental and unintentional. On that advice, I did not change my sobriety date.

I hope that clarifies my understanding of the difference between the two.

I understand Jersey Nonney...

I just know to many people that minimize a relapse calling it a slip...

I know to many people that minimize their drunk to a slip...

Becoming drunk in my opinion, or having a drink is not accidental...

Oh, and honestly when there were accidents with drinking I have not heard they were slips...I guess terminology is different everywhere.:

ghug3

No. Does one sip make you drunk, or were you still sober. I don't see a definitive answer here no matter how you slice it. It is possible to go on a bender after 25 years of sobriety. Suppose someone does. They still have 25 years of sobriety, don't they? 25 years of meetings, helping others with input and 25 years of 12 stepping other drunks and probably saving a few lives along the way. This bender only lasts a month before the subject regains his composure and puts it to rest. Where does that 25 years go?
Answering the original question is ones personal opinion. I say that one sip doesn't do anything. Did you get drunk, did you get a buzz? Did you have an overwhelming desire for more? What was your intent when you took this sip? How often do you have these sips? One sip adds about the same amount of alcohol to your bloodstream as applying aftershave.

The "25 years of sobriety" goes in the bank and serves as a reminder to him and everyone he shares with that it doesn't matter how much "time" you have, you are still vulnerable to the cunning, baffling, powerful, insidiuous nature of the disease.

I have a very good friend who had 15 years of sobriety, went back to drinking for 5 years, and now has 40 years of continuous sobriety. He is very honest when he tells his story, but he certainly doesn't count as having 55 years of sobriety, because it wasn't continuous .

Slip vs relapse is a moot point. The question is are you a real alcoholic. If you are, then to drink is to die. They don't say this lightly or for drama. When they say this they mean it literally. When I take a drink of alcohol in the first thing to die is my spiritual being, then my emotional and mental being. The last thing is the physical death that will eventually come. Staying connected to the first step and have a real gut level understanding of it is important. You will hear people in the rooms say nonsense like, " I choose not to drink today". For a real alcoholic like myself, I don't have that choice. The choice and decision I have and am able to make is to have a concious contact with God today. It's from that choice that I am able to stay sober today and have an opportunity to make other choices and decisions in a sober day. And it is in step work and working with others that improves that concious contact. I wanted to buy into the notion that by coming into AA that I regained the power of choice in the first drink. And it just isn't so. No more than it would be to gain control. The book tells us that we will have certain times when we are in mental blank spots. I don't know the hour and day that that's going to look like. So, my job is to maintain spiritual fitness. Slip vs Relapse? Simply more delusion.

This is just my opinion, but I dont think someone should have to change their sobriety date over one sip of alcohol. I think the good thing is they decided to stop after one sip. They didn't get drunk, they didn't get tipsy. They *chose* not to continue drinking, and that is a good thing, not a bad thing.

If you feel like you are "not telling the whole truth" by not changing your sobriety date, then say "I have been sober since this date, but I did have ONE sip of alcohol on so-and-so date." This is a perfectly honest and okay answer, again, just my opinion.

We always have a choice, BP44. That you and I choose to remain sober is commendable; but, if we didn't welcome back those who failed in their attempt(s) to stay sober, we would be failing in our responsibility.

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Whenever anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there...and, for that I am responsible.

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There is no guarantee that we, ourselves, might not be among those again reaching out for help.

The preamble states

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The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

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It doesn't even state that you must stop, only that you have the desire. But, then 'How It Works' goes on to say that, "If you have decided you want what we have, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps."

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I dont think someone should have to change their sobriety date over one sip of alcohol.

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They must do things a lot differently in Wisconsin, because I don't think your suggestion would fly in my neck of the woods.

Quote:

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"I have been sober since this date, but I did have ONE sip of alcohol on so-and-so date."

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The fact that your hypothetical person *chose* to drink in the first place means they're having trouble getting past the first step.

I once sponsored a gal who could quote you chapter and verse of the Big Book, she had been in the rooms of AA for so many years. But, she never quite got the concept that we stay sober one day at a time, not that we drink one day at a time.

I agree with Jersey, there is always a choice, and I am a "real alcoholic".

I also believe there is no "mental blank spot", if I were to drink again I would be totally aware of my drinking, after all I would have to buy the alcohol, pour it in to a cup, lift it to my mouth, take a drink and swallow it. If I was in a mental black out unaware of my actions, I would have way bigger problems than being an alcoholic. The thought of living my life in fear of "mental blank spots" would be enough to drive me crazy. This notion of complete powerlessness and helplessness is dangerous to the human soul. Maybe it was true for Bill Wilson, it may have been his experience, but it has not been mine, nor do I ever expect to be. Just because something was written down on paper does not make it true.

Slip or relapse....a drink is a drink...what one chooses to call it is as individual as the person themself. How you chooses to handle it and move forward is more important that what we call it.

Jersey, if it came across as not "welcoming back someone", that was not my intent. The fact of the matter is that when we get here, we are filled with delusion. It takes 40 some odd pages to describe us in the Big Book. That's how smart we are. It takes that much to start to whitle down some of the delusions that we have about alcoholism and our particular drinking career. In my experience, there were three major things that came out of the first step : Loss of control, loss of choice, and I would NEVER drink like a normal person. That coupled with a thorough understanding of unmanageability. If one does not understand the concept of the insanity before the first drink, and that spirtual fitness is the only way to avoid that, then as the big book states, and I'm paraphrasing, sobriety will be precarious if any at all. It goes on to say that he will not know happiness. I had to hear the truth about myself, and for me to parse words or split hairs is dangerous.