sober sex?
 

Im sorry if this post is too blunt, but i need to ask others opinions on this subject

I dont think ive ever had sober sex. I have a wonderful boyfriend, and Im kinda scared- ive never been with him sober. aside from my very first boyfriend in highschool 25 yrs ago, i dont think ive ever had sober sex.

Am i the only one who is scared about this new way of being with someone?

my apologies if this was over the top

maria

LOL maria

way to get attention to your thread, though -

sober sex? ZOOMMMMM ,....

yes I have.
And yes it is.
No, you're not.
and no it isn't.

and yes it's worth it.

Hi Maria,

Me neither.

One day at a time. Sobriety first.

The answers will come in their own good time.

Doing step 4 in my 12 step programme at AA helped me with this question.

i know what u mean, my 1st sexual experienc was after a botle a vodka while i was unconcious at 13, guess raped by an 18yr old, i had no recolection, so sex has always been a drunken thing,

i been with my bf 3 yrs, not really had sober sex, tipsy but always feel more uninhibited, when im really drunk it s wild, but thinking about it, half the time it s prob not as wild as it was in our heads! well fallin about an having quick swigg a beer in middle of it s prob not that great!! but bf is always drunk 2, an i often have 2 pretend i rem our wild nite, !! bit s an pieces come bk, but never rem all, so i gues it s better 2 be confident in yourself an if u been wiv bf a while u know each other, just dont think to much about it, 2 much , an it ll b fine, prob be better sober , (i ve even fallen asleep i was so drunk 1 time , bf not amused!!! sorry if thats to frank,

Sooooo much better sober! At least that's my experience. You are in for a real "treat" for lack of a better word. Like Pilgrim said, "The answers will come in their own good time." But really, don't sweat it...

Just to prepare you sober sex is far better then drunk sex, one of the few times I was sober and had sex years ago was with a gal that was drunk on her arse, having sex with a drunk when one is sober in my experience is not very romantic at all... as a matter of fact it was pretty darn disgusting looking back on it.

If I was going to have sex outside of my marriage now it would not be with a woman who was drunk!

dosent paint a real romantic pic doe s it !!! i just been thinkin a the times i do remember an god if bf was sober , i dont think he d b my bf,an vice versa

sooooooooo,, got to get my bf to quit or at least limit drink to weekends,

the 9 days i stayed sober we fell out an i slept on the sofa,the whole time cos oh my god dont drunk people droan on an on an repeat an talk, cxxp!!!! so sex was not on agenda,

but thanks 4 that taz, that can b on my to do list SOBER SEX

WEED THE GARDEN

MOW THE LAWN,

GO BK TO COLLEGE

not sure which will come 1st!!!!

I'm bringin' SOBER sexy back!!! Yes, I think it is better now...more intense, both physically and romantically.


Work Hard and Enjoy Life....Ned

lol, it s got 2 b, thinking bk, oh my god, im cringing, glad i cant remember most,

gonna mow the lawn 1st!!!!

You can remember names! In all seriousness, the experience requires that the "real" you be present and it has been amazing to me that just like the rest of life sober you find that you have more to offer than 1/2 of yourself.

Once we begin to know who we are and we come to like that person I think we are amazed that others like us too. It makes it an encounter that allows reality to sink in. Enjoy each day and all it has to offer; sex is but a part of this new world.

Keep your hands and arms "inside" at all times and enjoy the ride!!

Jon

sober guy - good
not sober guy - not so good

'nough said - mom

(edited to be more honest...ha!)

I have had it in the past, however I have gotten away from it for awhile now because it is also a part of my disease of addiction. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. Heck I think I might take this topic over to my site. LOL

Now I have not had it this time yet in my clean time except with myself :lmao:

When I first sobered up, my gf and I were worried bout this very thing. I was never sober when we were intimate in the past. I was always buzzed/drunk/hungover.

Now? A beautiful blessing.

wait until you're ready, with someone that you love and feel comfortable with and who's also sober...
and then relax...
but trust me...
it's good, it's very, very, good!
;)

Wish I Knew
 

Hi Simlysober, I really can't answer this cause I wasn't getting any when I was drinking and I'm still not getting any now that I'm sober! :) Glad to be sober though! I would think the sex would be better because all your senses are clear when you're not drinking.

Do not count it if he is drunk! LOL Trust me when I say that he will be a huge let down and a big turn off. As you have already come to see, the last thing a drunk is to a sober person is sexy!!

After 27 years of dysfunctional, alcoholic relationships with addicts all I can say is.....

It was worth the wait, there's nothing more emotional than making love sober. It's definitely a gift.

But it's OK to wait too.

I have learned from my experience that while yes it really is tons better, there are a lot more things to be thought of....motives. Must really be aware of what's going on now since clean & sober...no more USING people or not even being there mentally or emotionally. Wow what a difference. You know....start keeping my side of the street clean. Can no longer just hop in the sack for the "fun" of it. Thinking less of myself and more of others. For me...there MUST be emotional attachment and a whole bunch more before I'm gonna get the shame and remorse and guilt of the day after a one night stand again!!!!!

Connie that is so very true, there is such a huge difference between making love and sex, drunks (I was one) have sex, sober people make love, which carries no guilt or remorse.

i cant wait, well the lawn had to wait so hell so can sober sex , it ll keep, an b even better, making bf slow right down beer wise 2nite, an im bein good still, xxx