*&^%$
 

It's 2:30 am where I am and if I had booze in the house I'd be drinking it right now. I'm not doing too well this week. And the weird thing is that I've been going to meetings every day! I don't know what the heck is making me feel like this. I don't like it.I'll have five months Saturday. I can't sleep, I'm depressed over the stupid little things, I feel alone (there are currently 7 other people sleeping upstairs right now!!) I'm sad about a friend who's blown me off...its just stupid life crap why is it effecting me so?? I KNOW what to do so why aren't I doing it???

Merlo
you are right on target...This will pass...just hang inthere...Don't quit now

PM me..we'll chat more

Sending hugs

thANKS FOR SHARING

******** MM }}}}

You didn't , though. GOOD !!!!

I am really starting to think I'm right in that every few months, the liver
(or some dang place all jammed in there)
releases pent - up toxins and the result -
we go gonzo.

I'm also wondering if the steps are in that order ...
because they coincide with that.

just a theory.

nd - lastly - I don't know - why *aren't* you?

wow - echo - I answered the other one - LOL

Hey Barb,

Each time I walk into a meeting, I search for a woman who raises her hand when they ask "who has many years of recovery" and I scope her out during the meeting and think, well, I'll ask her to sponsor me. Then, and holy cow I'm being honest here, maybe she shares and I find some little thing that she says or does or something and I discount her. Tuesday, the man that I greatly admire who I wanted to ask to sponsor me wasn't there! Jeez, I just feel doomed.

Hi Merlot,

I'm sorry you got get rejected by your friend.
I don't take rejection too well either...so it's just normal.
i think most normal peaple don't take rejection too well either..

Just fusrtrations..it passes. i don't know..i know i'm suppost
to do a lot of things, but i don't do them.
I don't drink no matter what tho, that's something i'm do right
anyway..my sponsor told that's the only thing i have to do
right is step #1..which is don't drink and use no matter what.

Congrates on your five months..that's an accomplishment.

I'm telling myself that you know folks move in and out of our lives and that doesn't mean that it didn't mean anything..but yeah it hurts. I'm NOT drinking. I'm glad that there's nothing in the house though. It's that friggin close..

you might try what I did -

I asked the 'scariest' woman there.
The one woman ... every other woman was afraid of.

She's still my sponsor.
And ... probably my best friend.

See -
the others were only afraid of her ...
because she pretty much said the deal.
There was none of that placating stuff with her.

And that is exactly what I knew I needed.

that's when to put in a speaker tape -
call someone in the Fellowship...
keep posting here ...
do the dishes ...
read the BB ...

whatever it takes to remember that the 'reality' we are perceiving at the moment ...

... probably isn't what's REALLY happening.

Thanks Barb..yes..that's why I reached out here. SR leaves the light on.

I will take that into account. Thanks Barb. The meeting tonight didn't have a whole bunch of women. We are going to a new woman's meeting Thursday (is it Thursday?) and hopefully I'll be able to get up the nerve there.

at least you're keeping busy right now ...
what with posting on two threads and all .. LOL

The women's meetings are a very good place for sponsor shopping.

Hey..when I need attention...I NEED ATTENTION. :-)

Getting into acceptance. Accepting people places
and things just as they r suppose to be,,,,that use to
pizz me off so much because i was/am powerless over
changing anything and everyone.....

Say your SERENITY PRAYER over and over again till u
feel peace within....i would say this everytime my feathers
were ruffled....

Get into helping someone...that gets u out of urself and
will allow u to see that maybe our problems are not as
huge as someone elses...

And thats how it works for me. :)

Sharon has said it all for me. You'll be OK it just takes time for our biochemistry and mindset's to change is all.

hugs indie

that was great MM - *need attention* LOL

MM, attention you got!

its a process MM, some qiuck, some slow... dont give up...

agreed, find Big Bertha! and follow directions... lol

you can do it...

xxoo, rz

how are you, merlotmamma? sending hugs, k

Thinking of you and you know these feelings of sadness will pass.

Keep posting....

Feeling any better now merlotmamma? :hug: