Hey EC - how's it going?

Status check:

Reduction in drinking: on schedule. I ignored a 70's party, a baseball game, and a free night of drinking due to a friend being a guest bartender tonight, and stayed at home (I drank, but under controlled amounts).
Sleeping: I slept like crap last night, but I slept.
Pain: Still significant kidney pain
Eating: very poor
Resolve: still strong

EC -

I have kidney disease. Frequent backaches, etc. Swelling, (hands, face, abdomen) fatigue ... the whole schmoo. I can't emphasise cranberry juice enough. It even seems to wrk better for me when diluted a tad with elrctrolyte enhanced water.

Just a thought.

Thank you for the suggestion. I will try it tomorow.

It's icky ... truth.

I don't know WHAT ever possessed natives to squash them up and drink something that sour but ... good thing they did, I guess.

Hi Empty Cartridge. It's good to see you here and studying what alcohol is doing to your body. This has got nothing to do with your willpower and the problem is not psychological.

At the end of my heavy drinking I pretty much stopped eating and had stomach pains if I did eat something. I was bloated and had blood in my urine.

Your body needs help. Alcohol is keeping the pain away but at the same time, it is severely damaging your internal organs.

It is my opinion, along with others here, that you need to see a doctor who understands alcoholism.

You are not alone. We understand!

I have decided to call my best friend tomorrow and tell him what my goal is. I think he knows that I am an alcoholic, and will be honest and stern with me. I trust him, even though he is many miles away.

I have held to my short-term goals the last two days, but have also recognized the temptation to slip. He will dedicate time and effort to me me without judgement. I have a feeling that I will slip without support.

I still maintain that if I slip a single time that I will go to a doctor. That is a promise, and I don't take promises lightly.

I found that my non alcoholic friends didn't really understand even though some are very supportive. The thing is, they don't quite "get" the need to stay stopped. We love each other but we are on different planets when it comes to alcohol.

I know what you mean. I slip without support too. Slips are not good for me and my body can't really cope with much more. AA and SR are my support. Lots of new friends who understand.

Thanks for the promise EC. You know we hold people to their promises round here - Stone even has a whip!!!!

Hey EC. I hope you go see a doctor soon. I would highly recomend going to an AA meeting, and picking up a Big Book. I think this would bennit you greatly. I wish you the best. There are a lot of people who have gone through what you are facing. I think you should follow there advice.

you're right when you say your non alcholic friends don't get it. they can be supportive and they're not bad people, but they just don't understand your new way of thinking. that's where aa support comes in....they GET IT!

blessings, k

one alk'y to another... bottom line...

xxoo, rz

Hi Ec. Are you still there?:sadwavey:

Yep, still here. On schedule with the reduction, barring a doubtful slip tonight.

I went back to an all fruit meal today. I also bought myself a crate of cranberry juice, and took a good amount today....nasty, but I can deal with it.

I slept a decent amount last night, and had an afternoon nap today. It seems like that is going to be how it goes...wake up waaaaaay too early, get some work done, crash for a couple of hours.

I'm sticking with this. Still on my promises.

BTW, I did not call my best friend. I decided that I am determined enough to do this myself. Like I have said before, if I fail at self-detox, I will go to a doctor and elicit help. Let's see how this goes first.

About withdrawal
 

Hey guy/girl. I can relate to your aversion from eating. I'm experiencing the same thing right now. It sucks.

Also, in regards to you "putting up a good front" - Just try to not do it anymore. I have always prided myself on my ability to hide my alcoholism as well (as rampant as it is), but it's TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT.

We should race to the sobriety finish line. Good luck.

Hi EC-

I've been off the forum a few days- the kids throw me off on the weekends.

Glad to see you're sticking around and that things are going all right for you. Friends and family are indeed supportive. But you really find a connection at a meeting. They're people that have been (and are) going through the same things you are.

Glad you're doing better.

Gotta run.

BHJ

Hi EC,
Your autopsy would show what killed you if you keep up your present pattern. It would not be a mystery for long. Glad you are here. You have lots of shoulders to lean on. Julie

oh...and I would suggest checking into that kidney pain. It might have nothing to do with your alcohol consumption. Kidneys are kinda important!

I am bumping this thread, even though most or all of you forgot about me as soon as I posted.

The bad news is, my curbing did not help.

The good news is that I told my best friend my problem and he talked me through a plan. I have agreed to go to a doctor.

I also I have a day for my first AA meeting.

What kind of steps does a baby take before baby steps?

EC crawls, on their knees...

try pray'n on them EC, and i aint kid'n, it was suggested to me... i did, and stil do...

to take the mental obsession away...

before, during, and after detox...

its a life long work...

and no, we didnt forget about you...

HP's time...

good wishes EC

xxoo, rz

Well, lets see,

You got almost 50 responses here and I daresay just about all of them advised you to see a doctor and/or go to AA.

Most all of the folks here are in recovery and therefore we have an idea what we are talking about.

When I was drinking I didn't eat either and there were times when I had severe abdominal pain, yet I continued to drink. Pain is the bodies way of telling us that something is wrong. Booze can make us ignore these signals, thus making things worse.

I am glad you called a friend for support. That is action and is a step in the right direction. Posting here is action and a step in the right direction.

When your car dies, you don't call a carpenter, you call a mechanic.

When you are having trouble with booze, you go to AA, thats where the experts are. No one who is not a alcoholic can truly understand us. There are those who can help us though, doctors and other medical people. They can help us detox safely and then if the have any clue at all they tell us to go to AA.

So, go to AA, go to the doctor and join the fellowship of life that awaits you.

Ted

Oh, just a footnote, sadly many folks stop by this forum and are never heard from again. It does happen all the time. Please don't take a seeming lack of interest personally. If you don't check in we have no way of knowing how you are, or even if you are still around. I am glad you checked back in with us.

follow through ec.....please take care....telling someone is a must ...glad you did that...

I don't have much advice, EC, but I just had to comment on your story because it's a mirror image of mine. A couple days ago, I got an entire grocery store sandwich down (plain turkey and cheese on white bread), and it was the biggest meal I've kept down in as long as I can remember. It took me the better part of an hour to eat it. Most days the only thing I eat is a small smoothie from Jamba Juice (I try to make what I do eat fairly healthy). Two months ago I was a size fourteen, now my size twelve jeans are baggy and falling off.

Hang in there, EC, and good luck.

hey empty - so? when's that meeting? have you made an appt with a doctor?

support to you, k

Welcome !

I was just like you once. I had to force food down, and without booze, sleeping was impossible. (I'd still wake up though at 4:30 AM starting to withdraw every morning).

Do you get the morning shakes ? How about dry-heaves/retching ?

Fun, ain't it ? ;)

Good advice. That's how it was for me. I remember how grateful I was when my appetite came back and food actually tasted good ! (It was some McDaonalds fries). And, I'm ALWAYS grateful now for being comfortable in my own bed, and falling asleep.

Seeing a Doctor is also good advice. De-tox can kill. Even if it doesn't kill you, you'll think you're dying (Or wish you were) . It's THAT bad for some.

No, I don't take it personally. I kind of assumed that you get quite a few people that are "one and done." I came pretty close to it.

Unfortunately, the earliest I could get a Dr. appt. is Thursday morning, so that is set.

I also have my first AA meeting Friday night.

I wanted to get in sooner, but that's the best I could do. I don't have insurance, so my doc is my most viable option.

I picked up a book yesterday called "Uder the Influence, a guide to the myths and realities of alcoholism." While I would rather get in to my physician sooner, this will give me a couple of days to read up.

Tons of fun. I haven't had the morning shakes, but the dry-heaving and retching gets so bad that it hurts my throat.

Meh...

I know the responses I am going to get.....I know. I know that I am doing what's best for me.....I know. I know what lies ahead for me in the next few days.

I am going to the Dr. in the morning, and this might be my very last night of drinking in my life, and I am scared ********.

I think that for the first time since I was 12, I will say a prayer.

Alright everyone, we'll see you tomorrow.

EC -

I've been gone for a few days - but as SOOOO relieved to see you're going to tqake some advice.

So few alcoholics do. Take advice, I mean.

it WILL get better. Promise.