Its Over
 

I deserve better.

I split up with baldy yesterday.

To cut a long story short, I told him I thought we should split up after a day of total love-less-ness - he said, well 'ya know, I'm not happy....'

I said:

DO YOU THINK I F***IN AM????

His basis for how our relationship is going is gauged in how UNHAPPY HE IS.

Well, **** features, I know this might sound bonkers to you, but I am NOT F***IN HAPPY EITHER.

Sorry to break the news you utter disaster for an excuse of a human being.

What annoys me most about this whole situation is the fact that he is selfish enough to think that I've been enjoying myself? To be blessed with the time he has given up to be with me. No sh*t FAT BOY...............

Y'know, f**k it, its not like I wasn't expecting this to happen. Now at least I can focus on me and my recovery and not be constantly let down by him. I don't have to expect anything of him as he is not my boyfriend anymore.

I feel like the world has been taken off my shoulders.

Thanks for listening.

Mxxxx

Just wondered, can anyone help me out with prayers? I didn't want to ask but I am being ripped to bits inside and finding it difficult to get in touch with my higher power.


M x

Mimi:

You want prayers?

You got em'. I will pray for you. I need prayer too. If you can't

pray for your own situation because you are so hurt and

angry...pray for someone else. It will open your heart.

I believe our Higher Power is always with us...He sees the hurt..

knew about it before it happened, and believe me He cares for

you Mimi.

So pray for me and I'll pray for you and maybe we will see a

miracle. It begins in the heart.

Love,

:flower5:

Sherry

I'm sorry you had such a rough time and bad day Mimi...but I love your posts and your attitude...

as for prayers, I'm not a real hands together kneeling down guy - I just like to try and get into a 'quiet place' in my head and give thanks for all the good things in my life, and for the strength to deal with the bad stuff as it happens...

the Desiderata is not actually a prayer as such, but I like it as a good starting off point for thinking:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy

(Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952)

D

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Thanks D. for that.

My favorite part of Desiradata.........

IO

mine too, Sherry, mine too.
helps me sleep at night.
D

Thank you thank you thank you.

I HURT but at least I know what's going on.

M x

hope your hurting won't be long, Mimi

D

((((Mimi)))))

Prayers are comin atcha' !

I am so proud of you, you are so strong!!! I feel your pain hun, after 23 years, I am now dealing with divorce. I have discovered how much I used/drank in order to mask the unhappiness in my life. Keep focusing on you!!! The pain does lessen with time, mine is.
~HUGS!~ Liss

way to go meem... by by ole baldy...

its meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem time...

meem hop on over the the spirituality section... you'll find what you ask for there... i guar - an - teeeeee!

xxoo, rz

Dee,

thank you for sharing Desiderata - it's been a long time since i've read that but it sure resonated with me this morning.

Mimi,

I understand you're all torn up inside - and it hurts that he gave in so easily, telling you he wasn't happy. It's painful to let this stuff go, even the stuff that isn't working for us anymore. Prayers and love to you, hang in there, you'll come out of this stronger and feeling so much better about yourself. I know that I did when I went through it. There is light on the other side of that pain.

Rowan

Exactly, my drinking got worse over the course of the last year, probably partly because HE MADE ME MISERABLE.

It will take time, but I've got that.....!

I just need to try and keep cool.

M xx

Hi Mimi, sending out positive vibes your way. Sounds like you are best rid of him and being single for a while allows you to focus on you and your sobriety.

Quoting Rowan.....

Prayers and love to you, hang in there, you'll come out of this stronger and feeling so much better about yourself. I know that I did when I went through it. There is light on the other side of that pain.

I second that....very true here too.

Mimi,
Breaking up is never fun ... no matter how much the relationship needed to end. Look at this as an opportunity to take care of yourself. I've seen other people get sober, but place all their attention/obsession on a co-dependent relatioinship, hindering the progress of their emotional recovery. Focus on your recovery right now. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Good for you, always look back and read this post when in doubt it will remind you of your decision.

wish you the world of hapiness and love

xxxx

Mimi,

You will be ok without "Baldie"...In fact you will be able to focus on your own sobriety without additional headaches.

Sending prayers your way and thinking of you....

Thanks all. I've slipped again. Its 10am and I've just finished a bottle of wine and taken a load of sleeping tablets.

I don't want to feel this.

:(

come back and let us know you're alright Mimi ...
D

i keep my prayers pretty simple, mimi. try to be humble and grateful. i'm saying a few for you right now. blessings, k