I'm really new to this! Possible Triggers!
 

Hello all. Not sure I should really be posting here. I've yet to become completely sober but I WANT TO. I started drinking because I'm an insomniac and my ex didn't want me taking meds to sleep. Kind of sad but that is the main reason. Now I think I've traded one drug for another. I have been addicted to painkillers in the past but unintentionally. I do think that I have an addictive personality. I worry now about my drinking but I'm scared now that if I stop I'll never sleep. I hate myself for who I am when I drink. I wake up in the morning with no memory of how my son (he's 4) got to sleep, how I got to sleep and how I wake up with bruises, especially to my face and head. I wonder if I do these pain inflicitions myself but I do not know.

I lied to my mother today and told her wine was not a problem for me. Not actually a lie, wine isn't the problem. It's the rum or vodka that I mix with it. It was so hard for me to lie to her. She's my best friend and I hate lying to her.

I'm in tears as I type this but I feel so alone. My son isn't with me tonight, he's with his father, and that makes it worse. I hate it when he's gone. I'm sorry if I've posted to the wrong board but I feel so lost.

Thank you for letting me vent. harleygirl74

Here are some triggers: HALTS

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Stressed

You're in the right place, Harley. Sounds like you're either blacking out or passing out...neither of which is a good thing with an active four-year-old in the house...left to his own devices while you're under the influence. Very scarey...

When I quit drinking, I had trouble sleeping, and my AA sponsor told me, "Nobody ever died from lack of sleep." Have you tried any OTC sleep aids? Actually, warm milk really does work...warming it releases a natural sleep aid, tryptophan. Try not to drink anything with caffeine...coffee, tea, soda after 6:00 pm.

There may be some other forums here that will offer suggestions...look around.

You've come to the right place and have taken the first step toward sobriety by joining SoberRecovery and posting here. Stick around. Lots of support around here. Thanks to this site, the people here, NA, God and a lotta hard work on my part, I will be celebrating 19 months in 5 more days. :)

Anything can be a trigger, just like leviathon said, you have to prepare yourself for those things, for example not going to bars, do stuff you don't normally do that helps. If your into reading try "Staying Sober" it's a guide to triggers and relapse prevention. I would suggest going to some meetings and getting a sponsor. I know where you are, there were days I would wake up and have to look to make sure my daughter was still in the house. It scared the hell out of me. Take care, and good luck.........welcome by the way :)
Rick

After all the years I drank and drugged, breathing is a trigger for me. :) Thats why I do NA. ;)

Welcome to SR Harley...

Triggers come in all shapes and sizes...

A co-worker gave me a bottle of my favorite Australian wine for Christmas. I damn near had a relapse this past weekend...

Thank God for a couple PM's from a dear friend here to talk me out of it. This site has been a life saver for me...

Harley, like other's have said, you have an extra reason to get a handle on your life and sobriety, your 4 year old son. What better reason than him...

We know its not easy. We are all on the same journey. The journey of getting strait...

Best of luck to you. You have plenty of support here. Please stick around and use the resources here..

One day at a time.

Steve

:)

Hi Harley,

Welcome! I used alcohol to help me sleep too. I couldn't keep up with job, travelling husband and two teenagers and I was desperate to sleep. It took no time at all for me to become addicted. You will be able to sleep without drinking, but you should expect it to take some time for your body to sort it out.

You are definitely in the right place and I am glad that you are here. I see that someone already let you know about H.A.L.T. For me loneliness is a killer and I have to becareful all the time to make sure that I don't let myself isolate. It may take awhile before you can identify your triggers and take the appropriate action when they rear their ugly heads. I learned to identify them long before I learned how to handle them appropraitley.

I wish you the best and will pray for you!
Scott

Welcome, just welcome. Lots of experience, strength and hope around here... draw from this well, it is clean and good!

Hi Harleygirl- welcome to SR. I too would wake up with bruises, not remember going to bed and so on... This site is a great source of support. Please come back often.

Hi and Welcome!

Wine is alcohol.
Your brain and body does not know the difference
between wine or beer or liquor.

Once Blackouts begin..the will become more frequent
and last for longer periods of time.
The only way to stop the progression is
to toally quit drinking.

Here is info for you to read
#35 explains Blakouts

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

It's great to see a new member..Blessings

Thank you all to who have answered. I know that all of you advice is happily received. I know that my 4yo and I are the only to benefit from my sobriety and I will work towards that. I want only the best for the two of us.

harleygirl74

I once read somewhere that the bruises are accually a cause of the alcohol, not a pain inflicted bruise at all.
I feel your pain, i look back at all the nights i passed out with a baby in bed and how easily it would of been to roll over and suffocate them.....awwwww the feeling still turns my stomach even thinking of it.
Keep coming here and you will find this place a big help, it worked for me i am 6 months sober and maybe in june or july you can be to.
As far as sleep.....i drank to sleep as well, now i take anti anxiety pills before bed and sleep sound all night.
Good luck and keep postin

HG now your talk'n HG... reaching out.. thats a great beginning... lots of great advice here...

for me, triggers can be just about anything... if my attitude is in the wrong place...

thats what i try to keep in check... this place helps a great deal...

welcome to SR... HG...

good wishes our friend...

xxoo, rz

Of course you do :). You both deserve it too. Keep working towards it... it is so worth it. How are you today?

Welcome Harleygirl,

You have found great place, don't feel like you can't post because you are still drinking. The main point her is you have realized you have a problem and have the desire to quit.

Keep reading the stories help.


There is nothing that I do that i didn't once do drunk or atleast buzzed which iI think is really just a drunks way of tring to say they are weren't really drinking (including going to church) so everythings a trigger for me.

ust decide you don't to drink today and don't

we will be here to help

Hi,

I felt the same way when I stopped drinking. I suffered from anxiety-based insomnia as a teenager and had found alcohol to be a way to go to sleep (or better said, attain unconsciousness). Like you, I had a fear of the insomnia returning when I stopped drinking. Happily I can say that I did not have too many problems. Some things you may want to consider....

- watch the coffee/surgar intake if you are going to evening meetings.

- find techniques for curbing anxiety and excessive thinking. I went through a course called "Mindfulness" that focussed on breathing exercises and yoga. Both have helped me to relax more.

Good luck

Thanks to everyone. I'm hanging in there the best that I can. I'm glad that I have somewhere to come to where so many people understand what I'm going through. HG2274

half measures availed us NOTHING (aa)
 

aint no such thing as almost sober, partially sober, sort of sober...... must stop it all....

all the best.......