Hi! I'm new and upset
 

My son is drinking tonight. My heart hurts!

i know u feel so bad... but if u can trust him in a way that he wont get drunk... his body is strong... its normal, in the end everyone will drink...
i know i dont have the right to comment coz im not a parent or anything, but i love children, and for me they are the only reason to live...
In the end, u cant forbid him from drinking... u can be there 4 him if he needs u...not more... i know u r suffering, but it would happen sooner or later...

jrose, do you feel your son may be an alcoholic? There are plenty of good people from AA here and someone will come along soon who's 'been there'. In the meantime ((((((jrose))))

Welcome to SR!

It does hurt when our loved ones drink.

I suggest you go to the Friends & Family Forum
and read the shares..
especially the top stickys.

Click here please..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

Blessings to the 2 of you..

Hi Rose...

My son is an alcoholic/addict and has recently relapsed. I remember before his last bout with sobriety how CRAZY I was!

I tried the "four Ms" mentioned in my Alanon book -

I managed
I manipulated
I monitored and
I martyred

:)

I found another set of letters MUCH more helpful - the 3Cs:

I cannot CAUSE addiction
I cannot CONTROL addiction
I cannot CURE addiction

I 'got' those 3Cs intellectually... right from the get go. But I didn't "get" how to apply them in a practical meaningful way until I messed up time and time again. It seems I needed to learn from experience.

:)

So, when my son "went back out", this time - I was sad... very sad. And I will slip occassionally into "awfulizing" and "future tripping", but I increase my attendance at Alanon, because it was there that I learned how to act and react to the addicts/alcoholics in my life... and they are the best resource for me.

I started with 1 meeting per week, but I increased my number of meetings per week.

I hope you can find some Alanon meetings... they helped me very much.