Hi from a hot Monday afternoon
so happy that I am not feeling like death warmed over today which has been a typical Monday after a weekend. Funny enough i am still laying down and relaxing but after a somewhat productive morning and getting rest to go late to a mountain to try get some pics of the comet

thanks for the well wishes on my home woes. Kaptn your post was exceptionally kind and thoughtful. Thank you. I think my actions are starting to show as i was able to get mrs shoe out for 2 bike rides yesterday and she’s been feeling better. We had some good communication as well. She is nearly out of alcohol and seems to be tapering down without a re supply.
gosh green tree. You must feel like heck today. Got me worried about you. Good on ya for coming right back. Sounds like a great way to remember the old friend of booze
where is that helpful golden retriever?
meep quitting erratic! Captain H!
hi max and redcard and citrus and cute and venus and dee
hi everyone who is reading and posting. Thank all of you for fighting this with me.
seems i am phone only now which i will just have to get used to it. Ordered a screen fix for ipad will see will either fix or destroy It. Like the crossroads we seem to find ourselves in during early sobriety

Hi Bigshoe :) You’re setting such a great example. Hopefully Mrs Shoe will take it on board and stop drinking. A couple of bike rides and tapering sounds really promising! Enjoy watching the comet :)

morning all x
thanks max for your reply x good job on your sober time x
dee what a good question, no i guess i dont use this place for support when im craving, i know i should try, not sure why i dont? so good point maybe that should be part of my plan. I have always found asking for help hard, as even when i have been suicidl or self harm i have never asked for help i just did, if you understand? thats what my old pysciatrist, cpn, therapist, alochol councillor all found hard because thinking more about this, is in my past is that i felt that and prob was told i was attention seeking and didnt mean anything in what i said? via my parents and old ideas on what borderline personality disorder people were like. so does that make sense? so again maybe i should add that to a plan or skill is post when i am thinking of drinking, will try my hardest to that x

I have ended up having work again this time this afo least keeps me out of trouble x so will catch u all later xx

we all want to help any time you need it, Erratic :)

D

thanks dee i also responded in my regular april one xx and thanks again dee x

Day 15

The thing I was thinking of is : Post-Acute-Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)


I have realised I am detoxing from junk food at the same time as alcohol
Apparently it can take about 3 weeks to detox from ready meals
(cynical manufacturers - they put in chemicals to maximise dopamine release)

Anyway - I'm eating decent food and getting better

Well done if you are hanging on :-)

hi redcardid - we can't allow commercial links from rehab centres even when the content is relevant.

This link should have much of the relevant info about PAWs

https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

D

Day 9 and feeling balanced. A little lonely, a little tired but balanced.

Relapsed again. In withdrawal right now.

I need to take a more dedicated social media break. The feelings of hopelessness are really fierce right now. I live in FL and everything is a huge mess. To boot I’m writing a service for church this weekend about grief, so that’s nice and lite. Sigh.

Husband was just out of town for the week and that was really stressful and I’m really feeling the weight of having a small child who’s life is going to be totally upended for the foreseeable future and who needs a lot from me. I keep forgetting to take care of my basic needs and I know that’s usually when I relapse.

So I reviewed my plan again and am going to log into a meeting today. Check in here daily at least. Feeling crappy and panicked. Early withdrawal is so fun that way.

Hi all, I’m reading everyday but I’m in a dark place again. I have drank everyday since our return from vacation. I feel unhealthy, blue, my husband and I are not talking, and my relationships are suffering with my kids. This is what alcohol does; ruins lives. I’m going to try for day one again today so I can get the better me back.

Morning.

Got to go out into the heat & humidity today to get some things done. I want to start early while it's still relatively cool. I don't remember a summer this hot and humid.

It is indeed hot and crazy humid dear Charon. :hug: s xx ❤️

Jewel love ~ the alcohol grabs hold and it gets crazy hard....but you get to choose what you want....and you want your family and your life. :hug: s
Let's help you make a solid plan for the day that gets you safely through.... :hug: s ❤️

Sending you so much love dear bodhi. :hug: ❤️
And day 9 is awesome! xxxxxxxxx

Sending massive hugs and very happy to see you. :hug: s

I am in Columbus OH, in the worst-hit spot re the virus, but it is nothing like it is in Florida. I understand your concerns for your little one and well, for all of us. And yes, it is mega important to make time for self-care. We need to keep our spirits up.

I hope the meeting is really good.
Thinking of you. :hug: ❤️

Hey everyone. Day 2. I took the kids out for a breakfast picnic this morning yoghurt, fruit croissants and so on. I got home and burst into anxious tears (upstairs where they couldn't see me) Withdrawal keeps hitting me in anxious waves. It seems I get intense but short withdrawals compared to some so I feel physically fine today but emotionally not. I've got that anxious paranoia, a white van pulled up on the drive a man gets out in white jacket and mask and I think he's coming to take me away......he handed me an amazon parcel with a smile and left. Jewel I am feeling like you right now, dark and feeling everythings all a bit ruined. I feel like I really just have to want this now..and I know I am on my way, recovery is just such a long sloow painful process but I know the rewards are there waiting if I want them enough. Hope your ok prettiekittie, sounds like you got a good plan.

Everyone else stay sober keep going. you want to feel good tonight when you go to bed and get up tomorrow. better days are coming xx

(((Greentree))) ❤️

Gosh, Amazon vans are navy blue, and they usually wear a blue shirt.....I would have thought they were coming to take me away too if I had seen what you saw. :fright:

Knowing you want this is powerful. Hold onto that....and in a few days, this awful withdrawal will pass love. :hug: s xx ❤️

Thank you! :-)

Checking in at the end of day 18.

So many moving posts. Welcome bodhi and prettiekittie if you haven’t posted on this thread before. I wasn’t active until a week or so into July and still hope to read all the posts before I joined.

Hang in there Greentree and Jewel. A better life awaits us all.

Not even three weeks in and I can feel the difference in many aspects of my life. Things like a more positive general outlook on life, feeling less depressed, more clarity of mind, less anxiety, being better able to relax, improved general relations with my wife, feeling healthier and well rested when I get up in the morning. And the list goes on.

With enough support and a bit of work I’m sure even the worst of us can do this.

Hi SR,

I’ve been a lurker for some time but I registered very recently as I made the decision to quit exactly two weeks ago. This is my first post.

I’ve been a regular heavy drinker for over twenty years which in recent years consisted of a case of 18 Stella cans a day. Now in my mid forties, my body is making all sorts of noises to stop. My liver hurts all the time, both feet are numb, I’m so tired, my memory is completely knackered and I just feel ill all the time. And it’s something I can ill afford. I was starting to get to the point of having to keep borrowing money. The shame of this was a real incentive to stop.

However reading around I was worried what kind of symptoms I would have after such a long time. But reading these forums gave me the courage to give it a go, and I wish to thank everyone on here who has shared their experiences. It has really helped.

What I found particularly useful and encouraging was reading the experience of others of the various symptoms of withdrawal via a daily diary. So I hope it’s ok to post my own version here in the hope it also helps. Before I started I stockpiled on vitamin tables, fruit juice, fresh and tinned fruit, painkillers and took a week off work.

Day 1 – Had my last drink at last night, 7pm BST Tuesday 7th July. Woke up this morning feeling normal except my day started instead with a few cups of tea, vitamin tablets and a couple of glasses of water. Didn't feel hungry but eat a banana anyway. Everything fine until midday, then the “brain fog” started. I can’t concentrate on anything, I feel the urge to pace about my house. Have some minor tremors in my hands. Felt tired late afternoon and went to bed around 7pm.

Day 2 – Had some good sleep but it was constantly interrupted by a series of insomnia periods throughout the night. Hands feel a little clammy all the time – a minor thing but sweaty hands renders the fingerprint security feature on my phone next to useless. Brain fog more intense today as is the urge to pace about my house – which is giving me some exercise I guess. Have the emergence of bad headaches. Feel thirsty all the time, drinking loads of water. Not hungry at all. Not had a proper meal for three days now.

Day 3 – Slept a little better but still bouts of insomnia. Brain fog subsiding a little, now occurs in waves rather than constantly. Have some feeling back in my feet and clammy hands have receded. More headaches, and discovered that they consistently come about 20 minutes after drinking a cup of tea. It seems while my brain is trying to cope with alcohol withdrawal it objects to a caffeine stimulus as well. So I knock tea on the head for the time being, sticking to just water and fruit juice. Main problem today however palpitations – two hours of them. My heart was racing, and I felt a tightness in my chest. Felt really scared I was going to have a heart attack. This is easily the worst moment of my withdrawal so far. Still not hungry so haven’t yet eaten a proper meal – it’s all been fruit and occasional toast.

Day 4 – Sleeping has improved, though have had a few vivid dreams. There are now fewer moments of insomnia. Feeling much better, brain fog has largely gone, no palpitations, no clammy hands. Started to eat cereal for breakfast. Oddly I’ve had no craving for alcohol at all. For a treat I went for a sausage and egg McMuffin (I love these) at McDonald’s, took one bite and my stomach completely objected – I was very nearly sick. Along with tea my body seems to be disagreeing with junk food as well. Still not hungry much and have had no proper meal.

Day 5 – Sleep is now much better however after 4 days of gradual positive progress, today is terrible. It’s a big backward step and comes as a complete surprise. Brain fog, aching body, nausea, sweating, intense thirst. Concentration is a complete non-starter, I simply stay slumped in front of the tv unable to move sort of trying to watch the F1. Feeling awful. Still not hungry. As it turns out this goes down as the worst day of the entire process from now on things get steadily better. I wonder if this was my body’s last hurrah in dealing with withdrawal?

Day 6 – Sleep much improved. Only one short bout of insomnia. Feeling so much better than yesterday. Not so thirsty and no other real symptoms to speak of. Concentration returning though I still require rest between any kind of mental exertion. More than one person has noted I seemed to have lost a little weight and that I look less bloated. My skin looks much better in the mirror. Had my first hot meal in just under a week – baked potatoes and cheese. Numbness in both my feet has receded to just the toes on my right feet. Still no craving for alcohol.

Days 7-13 - Symptoms have all but gone except numb toes, each day is one where I keep feeling a little better when I wake up. Tried a takeaway pizza and my stomach objected to that in the same way as it did with a McMuffin. Slightly gutted.

Day 14 – Today is now two weeks since I had any kind of alcohol I’m sleeping so much better, have more energy and I’m feeling more alert and more ready to do things. My house has rarely looked tidier. It’s not been easy, especially day 5 and I suspect that visiting the shops and the pub being more difficult has helped me enormously to stay away from temptation. When things return to normal and friends ask me to the pub, it might get more tricky – but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Overall I think I had a mild – moderate withdrawal which greatly surprised me. The brain fog, some shaking, sweating and thirst were things I expected. Quality sleep for me often was the main difference on how well I felt for that day. But there were some surprises, tea made things worse, junk food seems to be off the menu for now, I really didn’t expect day 5 to be such a retrograde step after 4 days of relative progress. My toilet habits are all over the place as well, though that could be in part due to the big change in diet. Even more surprising I have no cravings at the moment at all. That I really didn't expect.

I know I probably have a very long way to go, but so far stopping drinking is now beginning to feel like the best decision I’ve made for a long time.

Thank you SR

Welcome to the class, prettykittie :)
Day 28 here. It's been difficult emotionally but getting to where I don't feel like I am wired all day. Energy levels hopefully are stabilizing. I feel like I start out on full octane and then crash at different times during the day. At least I can calm my mind enough now to nap when that happens. Was hard to turn my brain off before the end of the day without tequila. Things are more clear and the fog doesn't settle in too often, just overstimulated. So many things I want to do, all at once. Sobriety is giving me back my ability to focus. Thankfully I have been able to stick to my project piles. Those piles of stuff started or became screwed up while drunk. I've got over 10 years+ worth of them. I used to drink my way through the painful parts (much of it is either items inherited from deceased family or holdovers from other heavily emotional issues in my past) but find that I was likely tilting at windmills rather than fighting dragons with each pile before sobriety. Getting down to the nitty gritty and finding that it isn't as hard to give away, throw away, or put away physical things as I had previously experienced. Reading through old personal and financial paperwork doesn't bring those old and traumatic nightmares back as if real all over again. I can discard things or scan them into my computer without anxiety but most is getting tossed.

My house is much cleaner and my eating is getting under control. Lost a couple pounds but then nothing. Really hoping to see that number on the scale reverse. The inflammation in my feet is almost gone. Enough so I plan to start my first walk since May. I was walking and biking daily before the foot issues began. My body wouldn't heal and even walking around the house brought on near crippling pain. I'm excited about it.

I'm happy to see our milestones, I know Willow and I share our date :) Congrats to those hanging in there, and we are all cheering for those of you working to reclaim your sobriety! We believe in you.